by Sparkplug 31 Replies latest jw friends
Sparky,
My dad has never admitted that anything he did to me under the auspices of the WT BS Society was wrong. I don't think he ever will, it would be a repudiation of everything that he has staked his life on since he was 17. That being said, I am glad that your mother has realized what she did was not right.
Happy for you Decki.
I personally had many conversations w/my kids who are adults now who were raised in the JW religion. I apologized. It was quite emotional as you found. Many tears were shed. They were forgiving and reassured me that I was doing what I felt was best for them.
We are all at peace with this now. We all have moved on in our lives and have a good adult/adult relationship.
This takes a lot of love for you Decki on mom's part and humility. It feels good to be at peace with one another.
Juni
That she had a moment of lucidity to make a true apology and share her regret is a kind of miracle to hold close. She has been so out of it her whole life-you deserved at least that from her, and she knows it. I hope she continues to do well and that you are able to handle all your responsibilities.
Have you ever had your JW parents or JW loved ones admit something so awful in such a truthful way? It is hard to take. Hard to grasp and hard to accept from them. I am not sure why , but it was just hard.
Sparky, this is actually a good thing. Your mother has acknowledged that she has made mistakes. She has opened the way for you to forgive her. This is something I really wanted my mother to do. I would love to forgive her for the shit she put me through, but how can I when she denies that it ever happened?
Your mother isn't denying the way she treated you. She's admitting that she has done wrong. I know it doesn't take away the pain that she inflicted upon you, but it's refreshing to know that she realizes she fucked up. Your mother is bothered by the pain you suffered at her hands and her words.
What you do with her realization is up to you. You can use it to relieve some of the anger you may have toward her, you can use it to see that your mother does have a human conscience (as opposed to the "bible trained" one), or you can toss her confession away if you feel it doesn't make up for all the pain she inflicted upon you.
Decki, I'm glad your lucid Mom is still there...deep down and concealed asbshebmay be. It's good she fights up to the surface sometimes.
Hang in there !
Rabbit
Decki, I'm glad your lucid Mom is still there...deep down and concealed as she may be. It's good she fights up to the surface sometimes.
Hang in there !
Rabbit
If you've had a very unhappy childhood, marriage and have grown up kids who are mixed up with religion looking at you wishing it had been different and there's nothing you can do to change it, you're on an island of regret waiting for a ship that's never gonna come in.
Best thing you can do, if you feel it is tell her that you love her and mean it! Love can take away so much pain. Silence and rejection is the sharpest two edged sword in humanity. The pain it causes lasts lifetimes. Talking and caring are the best weapons to blunt it's blade!
Hope you find something in your hearts to carry you through.
Ray
I'm pleased to hear your Mom did the right thing. My cousin, ,basically raised a JW, who I loved dearly, apolagized for their abusive behaviour to me shortly before they committed suicide.
((decki))
(((Sparkplug)))
Probably her way of apologizing to you for all the "hurts" she has done in your lifetime.
Many parents do not apologize.
I know I have apologized to my kids.....takes a sense of honesty and feeling of trying to get it right to apologize. Nobody is perfect.
I wished my DAD would have apologized for all the emotional abuse he did........that would have meant a lot to me. He died when I was 28.
I learned a lot about him and his upbringing and after having a child myself, I can certainly understand him a bit more. He was never LOVED as a child. How the hell would he know as a parent how to love, and shower affection and nurture me? He had no clue. I forgive him for that.
Looking forward to seeing you at the crawfest!!! (maybe earlier at Hemplover's!!!)
Codeblue
