What to do? (page 2)

greendawn

Having an intimate relationship with a JW is a prickly issue since the JWs have a very low opinion about the the rest of the world and believe they will soon be exterminated by their god. A non JW can also be a bad influence they believe. This girl deep down may not believe in them though she won't admit it consciously.

jaguarbass

You could ask them if you study, if your girlfriend really loves Jehober, why is she going to college?

Stealth453

I think you need to go to university and try to forget about her unless she is willing to give up her cult

I'm 100% with Crumpet on this one.

Madame Quixote

Run, run, run, far away! Go to school. Find a real, live woman who doesn't shut down when you need to talk about important things. Run, run, run. Your girlfriend's in a brainwashing cult, and if you try to please her and her elders, you may end up wasting your life as a brainwashed fool, too, like a lot of people here have done and deeply regret. Run, run, run, away into the real world!

Madame Quixote

what questions do you think i should ask the guy because in a study he will i feel be obliged to answer my questions?Then it would be up to me to decide

Maybe you could start with asking why JWs think it's okay to allow their children to die by refusing commonly acceptable medical treatments, such as blood transfusions? Then ask if they know about how Watchtower Society literature from the JWs has misrepresented medical facts to promote this death-dealing cult belief. In other words, why did they make up lies?

http://ajwrb.org/whatsnew/church_state.shtml

Then ask them about their involvement in the United Nations and why they think the Society joined in the first place, and no, it's a lie that they needed a library card; that can be obtained without joining the UN, an organization the Society has called the "wild beast" for many years.

http://www.randytv.com/

Anybody else want to offer good questions?

aligot ripounsous

Hei, Adam,

first of all, welcome from a almost-as-new JWD poster as you are.

I won't try to give you a comprehensive answer to your questions, which have several facets, just bits of opinion :

I'll first situate them within the frame of your envisaging marriage and not just a romantic and sexual adventure, since I assume you are a fair guy who doesn't want to get your sweetheart engulfed in remorse and guilty feelings, due to her JW upbringing. Real love is putting the other's interest first, isn't it ?

Second, you are obviously quite young and must let yourself, and herself, get maturity. So, I 'll advise you the same thing as written above : go for your academic studies, they will make you even more desirable to a realistic girl.

I don't mean that there's no real love whis teenagers, just don't rush. In my opinion (which is worthy only as an opinion), you both can keep on going out together, in as much as she's able to manage the situation with her family and congregation. That's a very sticky point, if you really love her you 'll have to be understanding and not be easily put off by adversities which are CERTAIN to arise. Now, it's up to her to see if she wants to go steady with a non JW boy, that's her share of responsability.

Third, don't engage in JW religion just to get the girl, you would repproach her afterwards and you won't be a happy JW, if there is any. A good clue to the seriousness of both's commitment is your ability to talk about your beliefs, even more so if they are divergent. That will make you measure your maturity to tackle problems.

In the end, I can't see why a JW wouldn't marry a non JW. Eeach one can evolve and, until the contrary is proved, both have a brain and a heart.

Good luck in finding your way in this labyrinth

adam1989

Thank you for all your replies it is greatly appreciated.Ive recently bin taliking to this girl and although at the moment it hurts like hell i think im going to tell her i cannot do a study or do anything else unless she sees sense. I am hoping that deep down she comes to her senses despite her reiterating her love for the truth in recent weeks. I am not holding out to muc hope she will come to her senses but we have had a relationship that is forbidden in her religions eyes. I do love this girl with all my heart and will hopefully and painfully get through the emotional rollercoaster that im about to get on Thank you to everybody who has replied to me on her and privately you guys rock

av8orntexas

Go to school. You'll be happy for it, and able to provide for yourself and a family one day.

Vernon Williams

You said "there are plenty of fish in the sea...."

So, you have fallen in love with a mermaid. I must admit, from the illustrations I have seen, that the top half is pretty cool. The problem is that bottom half.....

So, unless you kind find a Walt Disney solution: head for dry land and find a two legged companion.

My take,

V

jwfacts

As you correctly identified, she goes into "witness mode". i.e. she is brainwashed for want of a better word. People under indoctrination or mind control (Mormons, Moonies, Hare Krishna's...) all switch off and go into trained responses. In this state it is impossible to get through to them. The Church is more important than family, as shown by hundreds of thousands of ex JWs being shunned by their own parents. So the chance she will be able to free her mind for you is very slim, unless she was already doubting before she met you, which sounds unlikely.

I know it hurts, but I would leave her without the frustration of trying to reason with a closed mind. She will dismiss you as not being worthy of Jehovah. Sadly, in many years time she may actually leave and then regret that she missed out on you.

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