AN EXAMPLE OF HOW J.W.'S PLAY THE "GUILT CARD"

Warlock

The world plays the "race card". JW's play the "guilt card".

My wife gets up this morning, with great difficulty I might add, and starts getting ready to go to the meeting. That's fine with me, and I don't mind taking her. Then, she says to me "Am I going to have to sit alone again?" I told her I have a couple of things to do and she says I can do them after the meeting. I can tell by her expression and body language that she want's me to go with her, but I'm gonna find every excuse I can not to go.

On the way there, she starts again. "The brothers miss you" "I don't like sitting alone" "I never thought it was going to get this way". Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

I finally told her "Look, I'll go back when I'm ready". Then she goes on about how Jah is not going to wait for me. When the end comes I'm gonna die.......blah, blah, blah.

After what I have experienced here, with all of you, and some of the books I've read while being inactive, and actually THINKING for myself again, I don't know what's going to happen when I have to finally set my butt in one of the seats for a meeting, other that the Memorial. I really don't.

Now I see WHY the WTS doesn't want anyone to purse a higher education, or read anything over 12th grade level material.

Warlock

Bumble Bee

((((Warlock))))

I know all about the guilt card. It's something that my husband lives with all the time - the guilt of NOT going.

I once told him if it bothered him that much to go back - he knew when the times were etc, and I wasn't stopping him - I even told him I'd go with him (that was then - I couldn't do it now). He's never gone, but still the guilt is there.

We had a heart to heart talk about some things last night - and those feelings of guilt came up again.

It's a stronghold the WT instills in their hearts along with fear.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but my life is a bit of a mess right now, and I'm plumb out!

BB

Arthur

After what I have experienced here, with all of you, and some of the books I've read while being inactive, and actually THINKING for myself again, I don't know what's going to happen when I have to finally set my butt in one of the seats for a meeting, other that the Memorial. I really don't.

Well Warlock, I can tell you that it is a very strange experience. When you go back to a meeting and listen to what is being said (now having knowledge of the many fallacies) it is almost surreal. When you hear the speaker say certain things, it is almost as if he is speaking a foreign language.

I went to the recent Memorial. When I heard the speaker talk about the 144,000, and how the rest of those in attendance were mere "observers", I shook my head in disgust. I kept asking myself how I could have believed in all of this.

Have you ever run into a girl that you used to have romantic feelings for; many years ago? I have. After seeing her again and talking to her, I haved asked myself: "What the hell was I thinking?" That is sort of what it is like to return to a meeting after seeing through the smoke and mirrors.

Tyrone van leyen

Holy crap Warlock, you mean she doesn't know how you feel on matters. Guilt is a very powerful tool. If the world used the guilt card the way the witnesses are able too, politicians would be beside themselves with glee. They can only pull that shit because of the family and social dynamic they have created.

You have a tug of war going on here. Is this something you want to continue with, in your face for the next, God knows how long? Thats a tough one. It's one that my older brother has to deal with now as well. If she can plant seeds so can can you. I hope this board keeps ya frosty dude!

OnTheWayOut

This is a tough spot. You need to be strong.

"The brothers miss you" "I don't like sitting alone" "I never thought it was going to get this way". Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

Don't bother to address "The brothers miss you." unless it's all she throws at you. It's not her real
concern, she's just using it for guilt. If you must address it, say "I am a phone call away."

"I don't like to sit alone." "Sit with someone else." (My wife sits with some different single ladies
at the meetings.)

"I never thought it was going to get this way". "I had no intention of making it get this way. We are
married for better or for worse. No matter what changes you go through, I will support you, and I
expect the same."

she goes on about how Jah is not going to wait for me.

Something along the lines of "I am sincerely desirous of the absolute truth. Jehovah's Witnesses say
that God draws such sincere ones to him. If that's true, he will draw me and others to him before any destruction
of over 99 % of mankind."

Stay true to yourself. You have a great freedom now. Enjoy that and try to let the guilt roll off after you
address her guilt applications.

restrangled

((((Warlock)))))....

I have lived most of life under the guilt factor with my mother. After the shunning last June and her living without my support or listening ear she softened up. Especially after supporting her through this last cancer episode. She then had the nerve to say she was going back to the elders to ask if it was ok to be associating with me. I told her if she does it again, its all over. I won't tolerate any more of it.

She now carefully talks to me about JW stuff but readily admits stuff that drives her crazy.

Sadly, my oldest son was attacked today. It must be this crazy support the GB article being studied this Sunday.....he has told her over and over he will not discuss anything JW with her. She confronted him this morning before the meeting and he told her once again he doesn't want to talk about it.

She stated: "Your father must be brain washing you again!" .....(Who Are You on this forum).....My son responded, "No Gramma, you are being brain washed and have been for 70 years 3 times a week!" and then walked out the door.

Since he is living with her, I am sure he will be thrown out within the next 24 or 48 hours.

My sympathies sent your way..

Take care dear.

r.

Bumble Bee

r - kudos to your son for that answer!! Gotta love it!

BB

greendawn

The JWs don't really miss you they want you back so they can exploit you further, their interst in other words is never genuine as many found out when they fell on times of real need the brothers were nowhere to be seen even if one had a record of loyalty and hard work.

Scully

My wife gets up this morning, with great difficulty I might add, and starts getting ready to go to the meeting. That's fine with me, and I don't mind taking her. Then, she says to me "Am I going to have to sit alone again?" I told her I have a couple of things to do and she says I can do them after the meeting. I can tell by her expression and body language that she want's me to go with her, but I'm gonna find every excuse I can not to go.
On the way there, she starts again. "The brothers miss you" "I don't like sitting alone" "I never thought it was going to get this way". Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
I finally told her "Look, I'll go back when I'm ready". Then she goes on about how Jah is not going to wait for me. When the end comes I'm gonna die.......blah, blah, blah.
After what I have experienced here, with all of you, and some of the books I've read while being inactive, and actually THINKING for myself again, I don't know what's going to happen when I have to finally set my butt in one of the seats for a meeting, other that the Memorial. I really don't.
Now I see WHY the WTS doesn't want anyone to purse a higher education, or read anything over 12th grade level material.

Maybe the reason she had "great difficulty" getting up and ready for the meeting today was because she knew that everyone else besides JWs is observing Mother's Day today. I know I always kind of secretly resented having to drag my butt to the KH whenever everyone else was celebrating something.

Wouldn't it have been nicer to go out for brunch or a picnic instead?

penny2

I don't know what's going to happen when I have to finally set my butt in one of the seats for a meeting, other that the Memorial. I really don't.

It gets easier once you've told your family you are never going back (including never going to the memorial again). There will be short term pain (crying, threats of shunning etc) but it's worth it. They'll get used to the idea. We are, after all, creatures of habit. It's a matter of breaking the old habits and setting up new ones.

AN EXAMPLE OF HOW J.W.'S PLAY THE "GUILT CARD"

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