Tyrone what do you mean you live like a hermit is your house in an isolated area or don't you have a lot of contact with other people? From your posts you seem to be quite intelligent and aware of what goes on in the world.
Adjusting well after leaving the dubs
by greendawn 27 Replies latest jw friends
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truthsearcher
Hi Ty: How are you doing lately? I haven't seen you posting much and was worried about you...Glad to see you back and fired up!
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Tyrone van leyen
Well Greendawn it's like this. I spent years living in the worst of conditions and then settled at the YMCA for 7 years. Finally, my dad who found his consceince somehow and knows what he threw away because indeed I was upright honest and clean before, saw that I was losing my health and offered to let me stay in his 500,000 dollar triplex with a huge rent rebate. His own home is half a million. Anyways I just can't take being around anyone anymore. I never go out ever for anything. Ihave no freinds and I feel like I don't fit in anywhre. I cried the first time I came on this board but it seemed like people cared and understood. I feel like I belong here and I feel safe cuz it's cyberspace. Your right, I am an intelligent guy and everywhere I went people told me what the hell are you doing here, you don't belong here. NO FUCKIN KIDDING> I want a pound of flesh from Shylock!
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Tyrone van leyen
Hi Truthsearcher, good to hear from you again, Oh ya don't worry bout me it was just another massive depression. Nothing new. I'm a fighter. How have you been?
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greendawn
So Tyrone is your father a JW? This cult seems to have done you as to many others a great deal of emotional harm but there are plenty of nice people around in society that you can associate with and enjoy life to the full.
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YoursChelbie
After you left the JWs what were some milestone events that helped you adjust to normal life
Great question!
A big milestone was getting qualified to go to college. I also went to several birthday parties and I went to a Christmas Program at a local church.
YC
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penny2
Tyrone, I know of someone in a similar situation. Unfortunately, he's probably at the stage that you were about 10 years ago. The WTS sure stuffs up lives.
Glad you found us. And I'm still hoping to celebrate your birthday this year - in cyberspace of course.
penny2
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Tyrone van leyen
Ya my whole family are Jws. I have one brother that wishes he wasn't though. He cannot escape cuz he got married and has invested too deeply. I"m glad I didn't die at the Y like my next door neighbour on the John. I can't seem to bond with people anymore. I talk with my bro sometimes but all the issues usually throw me into verbal rages like you just saw above. Can't help it sometimes. I know people don't want to be around that, and I don't blame them. It's funny too, I get lonely and then when I meet someone and have them in my company for too long they drive me out of my tree. My dad has done a lot to help me in the last while, God knows why including buying me this computer. I'm safe now and comfortable but it all means nothing cuz my heart and soul were ripped out a 1000 times. I told my folks I died a long time ago. My spirit that is.
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AK - Jeff
Just this very night I attended an introductory meeting of the local chapter of Kiwanis. I pledged allegiance to the flag, sang America the Beautiful, and prayed with folks from a dozen differing faiths. Everything I just said was a first for me.
Doing these sort of things might bring some friends into my life - about that we will see with time - but it is certainly knocking the Jw filters off in a hurry - just what I needed I believe. For the first time in my life I am hooking up with real 'volunteers' to the community instead of selling chinzy magazines that speak lies and deception to people who really don't want to read them. This volunteer service will be with hammers and nails and pancake breakfasts and wheelchairs to the disabled, side by side with others who want to give back to the community and not try to convert it.
I believe that this sort of experience will broaden my horizons and help me become the me that I had to hide under the Jw guise.
Jeff
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Tyrone van leyen
Penny, your sweet but I can't begin to fool myself into thinking it means a god dam thing to celebrate. Ican't even smile. I finished my gr, 12 graduation with a 75% average in advanced courses and they refused to let me go to the prom. A beatuful girl nemed Holly Ashton from my drama class even asked me out as her date. It wasn't even remotely considered as a possibility in my family. I got my brother to drive me their anyways but sat in the car the whole night. I watched her go in with her new date dreaming of the futuure and sugar plum fairies. They made us walk out of movies, they refused me to go to concerts of any kind, and then when my brothers got married they cut me out of the wedding party and put a guy in my place who I knew was having sex with diferent girls. I was also not allowed to be part of the wedding photographs either. Well years passed and his twin got married about 10 years later. This time they decided to fight for my right to be in and the fuckin elders pulled the same fuckin shit again. I don't have any other brothers that will get married. Thats it!
In my years of dejection I remember walking the streets alone in the dark going to hostels to eat a little dinner by myself. Every posssible situation in life I have been cut out of. Now I an beyond caring! This is a fuckin war. Please ignore my swearing if I didn't do it sometimes I think my head would pop off. This is again making me think of writing my bio but I just can't stop swearing sometimes. I have destroyed several copies of it.