Adjusting well after leaving the dubs

by greendawn 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  penny2

  This is again making me think of writing my bio

  Tyrone, I hope you do that. In fact it could make a movie and make people around the world stop and think - what this religion does to people. Swearing doesn't bother me (although strictly speaking I think it's against posting guidelines). Sometimes it's better to be angry than to be depressed.

  I can't begin to fool myself into thinking it means a god dam thing to celebrate

  I can't tell you how good it feels to have your birthday celebrated. It happened to me at work - suddenly there were balloons, cakes, gifts and cards everywhere and people said such ridiculously nice things about me. No-one knew anything about my background and I just had to pretend I thought it was normal. So I was forced to join in. I was sweating and blushing. They just thought I was modest.

  I have found in my case, 'pretending' can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In the beginning I'm terrified and then I realise I'm enjoying myself.

  penny2
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  Tyrone van leyen

  I can't even pretend my dear, it's a totally foreign concept to me. Not only that I don't beleive anyone really cares. The biggest smile you will ever see on my face is when the watchtower and all its cronies go down in flames. I hope I get to see that before I die.
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  penny2

  The biggest smile you will ever see on my face is when the watchtower and all its cronies go down in flames

  We'll all be smiling when that happens! I don't know if it ever will happen on a worldwide scale but it can and does happen on a local scale sometimes. After 1975 in some European countries, whole families left the truth lie and in some cities, whole congregations dissolved. I'd be satisfied with that. Less likely to happen in countries like Australia (where people just seem to accept things and not protest when a situation seems completely wrong).
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  Tyrone van leyen

  Unfortunatly I think your're right about your assumptions on the watchtower Penny. As you can see I carry a lot of baggage. Sometimes even when I'm all alone here, I curse the father the son and the holy ghost over and over again like a mantra. I do it vocally almost like a prayer. I can go one step higher than the watchtower and lay the blame on him. He has not protected me, and he lets evil thrive. He has done nothing for anyone ever. Just pick up a newspaper.

  It reminds me of a story from the holocaust where, the Nazis had taken a jewish father and son to send them to therir deaths and the son watched his father call on the almighty in a fervent prayer only to receive a bullet between the eyes. His son came to be a god hater.

  Someitmes, I think James thomas has it right that we direct our hate to something that doesn't exist. Well it's better than killing someone I guess. I save lives by cursing God, only to get killed by him, for cursing him. Eat me. Ya got give me credit, I didn't swear in this post.
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  Tyrone van leyen

  Heck, if he never listened to any of my prayers growing up then I reckon he won't listen to those bad ones either. Besides I'm sure he can take it he's a big boy. He must be getting used to it now after a few thousand years of having his name cursed. With my luck he'll listen to all the bad prayers and forget about all the good I'v edone in my life. OR He's a figment of our wishful thinking. Question is if he doesn't exist than I must direct my anger somewhere, The Org. is almost like god. They don't hear you cries and all they do is punish
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  penny2

  He has done nothing for anyone ever

  This is one reason why I believe god does not exist. Never say that to a JW coz they'll go into the spiel about, "Why does god allow wickedness." But if you are cursing god, as you say you are at least not hurting anyone else.

  penny2
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  thecarpenter

  Hey Tyrone, I'm sorry to hear what you went through, This sort of makes me realize why it is so important to get as much information as you can before leaving and then plan your exit out carefully so that you don't experience the full shock of the shunning and lack of social support.

  From a psychological standpoint, you need to do some deprogramming (that's why you gather the info) to realize the dishonesty of the organization; this step also helps to relieve any residue guilt feelings. That makes it easier to start separating yourself from the mind control and also start pursuing outside support structures and friends (I started rebuilding a friendships with my non-witness brother, neighbors and coworkers). Another thing that helped me enormously when I left was the determination not to fall into self-pity and self-destructive behavior trap. I wanted the dubs to see me as someone who was succeeding outside their little world.

  One more thing that helped very much was going back to college to finish my degree. I absolutely love it and I recommend it to everyone. Education is life-affirming and really does help you to see outside the box. It also helps in a social way, so many beautiful chicks....
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  Tyrone van leyen

  Its funny you know carpenter those are good suggestions. In a funny way though I resent having to fill my head with counter arguments to these boobs. Perhaps it is a necessity. Thing is, I have crafted many clever arguments and everytime I give it my best shot my fahter unbeleivably tears them to peices. He is very clever indeed. Both him and my oldest brother reckon they can take on Terry or Narkissoss or leolai, Gary Bus ,whoever you like. They think they're that good! Frankly I'd be amazed if they could Bs this board. I'd love to see it. There is never any affirmation from that neck of the woods for me. As far as school goes another great suggestion except I suffer fron depression and my school years were very unhappy for me as I recall.