from my own experience, I agree with bythesea. Be there - be there in the long run. Call every day for months just to chitchat, allow your friend to talk about it, do things together. I've had the experience with several friends who have lost adult children. It is very hard for them to recover - it takes years. I remember one friend, years after her son's death, say that I was the only one who KEPT calling, to see if she was OK, even her family after a while expected her to get on with life and stop grieving. So that made me more determined to keep in touch with friends who are suffering.
How Do You Now Console Someone Who Has Lost Someone In Death?
by minimus 23 Replies latest jw friends
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jgnat
I try and relate where they are. To a JW, I would say, "I am sure he is secure in Jehovah's memory." For your friend, maybe give him permission to talk about positive memories about who he has just lost. Let him take the lead and take it from there.
For some reason, I'm very good at giving people permission to grieve. I don't know exactly how I do it. I make eye contact, I touch them on the shoulder or give them a hug. I ask "How are you?" and I really want to know the answer. I give them the time so say what they need to say.
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stillajwexelder
I still tell them they are sleeping in death and that hellfire is stupid (esp if they have been a bad person)
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minimus
The funeral service is Friday and I'm scheduled to meet up tonight if all goes according to plan for him. Thanks for all your helpful suggestions......(this is what makes this place so good!)