So I finally broke the ice with my fiancee....

by R.F. 27 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  R.F.

  For those of you that don't know, i've recently had many doubts about the org and realized that I can't just let them go. The thing was however, that I was nervous as to how my fiancee would react when I would make my doubts known to her. So.....I finally talked to her today and it went a little something like this.........

  I started with us reading together Acts. 17:10,11, following the example of the Bereans. I asked her what she thought about that and she obviously at first said that it shows the importance of not taking any little thing that our "brothers" tells us biblically without checking the bible ourselves. Her focal point was on the elders and other ones in the congregation. So I asked, "well what about those taking the lead over the entire organization?" I then went back to the account about the Bereans and reminded her that Paul preached the gospel to ones never hearing the Christian message before, not fellow Christians, and she acknowledged that it's important to check things that the org gives us as well.

  I used this as an introduction to talking about Bible chronology and I told her from research that Jerusalem wasn't destroyed in 607, which sinks the whole 1914 Christ enthronement and the 1919 "faithful slave" appointment. Then it went like this......

  Her - "so are you saying that Jesus wasn't enthroned as King in 1914?

  Me - "I can't say if he was or not, but i'm just saying that I want to make sure that what i'm being taught is the truth and all I want to do is serve God in truth.

  Her - "Well I definitely understand that, actually it's very smart of you to do so. I've had many questions myself about some things."

  I left it at that not really trying to go into too much detail about her doubts, simply because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable and think i'm purposely trying to change her thinking. Then we went on to doing or regular bible reading out of the gospel of John(without WT blinders).

  I will also mention that last week I tried to get her to really think. We were talking about the earthly paradise doctrine and the scriptures that are mainly used to support it (ones in Psalms.) I discussed as to the true meaning being for the Israelites and dwelling in the land God gave them. I asked her if she could explain as to how we can use that to support a future paradise earth. She said, "hmmm, the way you explained it i've never really thought about that before." After she said that she seemed to be in pretty deep thought.

  So what do you guys think? Should I have done anything different?
• 

  Honesty

  You done GOOD!!!!!!

  She is probably churning it all over in her mind; remembering a lot of the other things that bothers her.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  This was great. You did really good. You let her know something was wrong, but
  explained it as a concern about serving with truth in mind.

  I am not one to burst a bubble, so I will point this out. It's early in your search of
  true versus false. You will eventually have to tackle the New World Translation.
  You said

  Then we went on to doing or regular bible reading out of the gospel of John(without WT blinders).

  That's fine, but you do have some WT blinders involved, still, unless you didn't use the NWT.
  As time goes on, maybe you will be able to introduce comparative scriptures from other
  translations.
• 

  R.F.

  Lately when we have been doing our bible reading together I often times would use my NKJV while she uses the NWT and I would point out things that I enjoy from this translation. I would have used the NKJV tonight but I didn't have it with me, then too I didn't want to make her think I was "OnTheWayOut" of the org already. I want to take things slowly and subtley.
• 

  Kudra

  I think that you handled that juuuuust right.
  
  not too hot, not too cold.
  
  Keep us posted!!!
  
  -K
• 

  esw1966

  I think that you handled that WONDERFULLY!

  I'm very impressed!

  p.s. - I enjoy Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He, at times, will speak out against jw's. I feel he is very biblical. You might enjoy his biblical theology which could help with later conversations.

  I'm sure you will do well on your own though! HOORAY for YOU! I wish I could have been smart enough to have done what you are doing.
• 

  RollerDave

  Kudos!

  Sometimes the hardest part isn't starting, or saying the right things, it's STOPPING to let it soak in!

  It sounds as if you approached this with sincerity, humilty, tact, and thoughtfulness.

  Sounds like you got it handled,

  Roller (of the 'overwhelming verbage' class)
• 

  bebu

  I'm really pleased to hear that she was so open to thinking it through. I wonder if there's a way to get her to think about researching this by herself online (without saying it directly, or dropping huge hints).

  What's better is that she has agreed to being willing to test the bOrg like the Bereans. Be even-handed through it all. Call whatever is good, good. Whatever looks suspicious, whichever side it may hurt, call it odd. You can show her that you wish to be discerning and just (you could even say that, too).

  Great job!!! Take it at the right pace. Keep us posted.

  bebu

  PS: Belated WELCOME to the Board!
• 

  R.F.

  Thanks.

  I wasn't even sure what I was going to say to her. Actually, I didn't even plan on saying anything to her today but something told me to do it today and it seemed to come out easily. One thing that has me excited and quite anxious is the grin she gave me today for a second after we were done addressing this. I've been around her long enough to differentiate certain grins she has lol. Today she had the, "I've been feeling the same way but didn't say anything" grin. She's already fed up with the hypocrisy in the cong, and she's even more fed up with the elders. To top it off, as I mentioned earlier, she said she has some questions and concerns over some doctrinal things as well. Hopefully this could be the kicker to get her to REALLY thinking. I just want her to think long and hard about what she is being taught. It would hurt me deeply if I were to lose her to the WTS. Now the thing is to think of which point of interest to subtlely bring to her attention next and when.
• 

  sinis

  Thanks.

  I wasn't even sure what I was going to say to her. Actually, I didn't even plan on saying anything to her today but something told me to do it today and it seemed to come out easily. One thing that has me excited and quite anxious is the grin she gave me today for a second after we were done addressing this. I've been around her long enough to differentiate certain grins she has lol. Today she had the, "I've been feeling the same way but didn't say anything" grin. She's already fed up with the hypocrisy in the cong, and she's even more fed up with the elders. To top it off, as I mentioned earlier, she said she has some questions and concerns over some doctrinal things as well. Hopefully this could be the kicker to get her to REALLY thinking. I just want her to think long and hard about what she is being taught. It would hurt me deeply if I were to lose her to the WTS. Now the thing is to think of which point of interest to subtlely bring to her attention next and when.

  Hopefully, and eventually, your quest for knowledge will lead you to the conclusion that organized religion is false, as is the bible. If you can take anything away with you from the bible, take jesus words which indicate that you should love god and your neighbor - that is basically it wrapped in a shell. Nothing more nothing less. Eventually you will awaken from your sleep and realize that god is in everything and everyone, and how its silly for humans to think that god "needs" us to do his bidding. God, if he, it, or them exists, which I think he does, but not in the fashion that the bible limits him to, wants you to enjoy life to its fullest. If you really think about the golden rule and adhere to it, the sky is the limit...