So I finally broke the ice with my fiancee....

by R.F. 27 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Arthur

  R.F.

  The Scripture in Acts is a good one. However, I have no doubt that someone will try to shoot you down with this Scripture. I have heard of Circuit Overseers exempting this Scripture on the basis that it was written to those who were not baptized. They reason that we (baptized Christians) now having come to "an accurate knowledge" through the Faithful Slave do not have any reason for such inquiries.

  There are three more Scriptures that you should keep in mind if some enterprising elder or overseer tries to shoot you down on this. You should also share:

  1 Thessalonians 5:21,

  Hebrews 5:14,

  1 John 4:1

  These three Scriptures were addressed to annointed believers, and show that the act of testing teachings as to their Scriptural soundness was never something to be abandoned.
• 

  RollerDave

  Well, I can agree with sinis as regards organized religion, Heck I even agree with the Judge on this one point, it is a snare and a racket.

  As for the bible, I am afraid I will have to respectfully differ from sinis in this.

  While I have discovered faith outside the camp of organized religion, not everyone can or wants to follow the path I have chosen.

  I have all hope that you will do your homework and look deep within yourself and come to the conclusion that works for you.

  Even if it is not what I chose.

  Amen!

  Roller
• 

  MariAruet

  I thought that Jesus also said that righteous ones will inherit the earth or something like that. But no, you did very well, I think you are very clever and the way you approached to it I'm sure she will love you. We women love mind teasers like that ;-) Just keep what you are doing, she will love you even more
• 

  Marcel

  oh my god! im so envy! my girl knows that im doubting. when i come up with the bible she says already that she dont wanny hear it, because she knows thats something somehow negative about the org is at the end. i never discussed a topic to the end with her because after two or three sentences she gets angry and covers her ears saying, that she dont wanna hear it.
  
  its my fault in the first place. before i said anything to her about doubting i was depressed and i havent seen a solution to my misery (doubting but no chance to leave without breaking my whole social surroundings) which resulted in crying myself out after circuit assembly one day (i felt like suicide). i guess that proved to her that i lack godly blessing before i told her my real thoughts calmly in first place, like you did.
  
  good approach. i should have spoken to her earlier when i had my first real doubts... instead of having fear of humans. damn.
• 

  truthsearcher

  I wasn't even sure what I was going to say to her. Actually, I didn't even plan on saying anything to her today but something told me to do it today and it seemed to come out easily.

  R.F., despite what others have posted, to me this seems exactly like what Holy Spirit does to help us! I don't know if you have abandoned faith in God and the Bible, (and I hope not) because it sounds like you are well on your way to having a relationship not a religion. I wish you the best in your talks with your love, that you would continue to be given the right words, and that you will continue to grow in your knowledge of what the Bible "really" teaches.

  Marcel: that sounds like a really, really tough situation! It seems that your girl is not ready to hear anything negative about the org. How patient are you, can you wait for her to be ready, or do you think you might have to make a choice? This cult sure messes up people's lives (as if love relationships weren't tricky enough already)!
• 

  R.F.

  R.F., despite what others have posted, to me this seems exactly like what Holy Spirit does to help us! I don't know if you have abandoned faith in God and the Bible, (and I hope not) because it sounds like you are well on your way to having a relationship not a religion. I wish you the best in your talks with your love, that you would continue to be given the right words, and that you will continue to grow in your knowledge of what the Bible "really" teaches.

  I haven't abandoned faith in God or the bible. In fact, my true faith and relationship in God is just beginning! With the JWs I always felt alienated with God. The way the org teaches, if you aren't right by the org, you aren't right by God, and this is the exact opposite of true Christianity. Just reading the bible now without WT aid is a mind-blowing experience for me now. I haven't felt this free before and I can only imagine how I will feel once the WT shackels are completely off me. And what I said about the Holy Spirit helping I believe this to be true. I suddenly had gotten this courage to speak up to her and things just flowed easily.
• 

  reneeisorym

  I think you did an awesome job!!!

  Keep up the good work.

  Renee
• 

  R.F.

  I won't make a new thread about this but I can't start a new topic until tomorrow, but I need to vent because this is somewhat of a bad news update with my fiancee.

  Well when I was talking with my fiancee tonight, first of all, she said that her and her mother probably will end up moving out of state. They've been toying with the idea for a while, but she says she thinks it's definitely going to happen SOON. She said that if we aren't married by the time they move that she might have to end the engagement, because she wouldn't want to put herself thru heartache over being many hours away from each other. She said also that she might get attached to the state she would move to and not want to come back. That struck a nerve with me, upsetting me, and hit me as something odd for her to say. To top it off, she goes on to tell me that me talking to her the other day about doubts that I had about doctrine worries her a bit. I asked her if she even remembered what I told her and she couldn't, but the only thing she remembered was the fact that I was saying that I want to make sure that what i'm out telling people in service isnt false information. She couldn't really explain it, but I honestly just think she's worried that I questioned something the organization told us to believe. By the way I talked to her about scholars generally agreeing that Jerusalem wasn't destroyed in 607 B.C.E.

  One thing I must say that has popped into my mind is, "is this a sign as to how things will turn out?" I don't know, it's just so confusing. It's like she did a complete 180 from the other day.

  Just venting, and very upset now.......

  R.F.
• 

  Warlock

  I started with us reading together Acts. 17:10,11, following the example of the Bereans. I asked her what she thought about that and she obviously at first said that it shows the importance of not taking any little thing that our "brothers" tells us biblically without checking the bible ourselves. Her focal point was on the elders and other ones in the congregation. So I asked, "well what about those taking the lead over the entire organization?" I then went back to the account about the Bereans and reminded her that Paul preached the gospel to ones never hearing the Christian message before, not fellow Christians, and she acknowledged that it's important to check things that the org gives us as well.

  R.F.

  You have a SMART lady there.

  I have noticed that the scripture concerning the Bereans says they examined the "Scriptures", not the Watchtower or Awake.

  Warlock
• 

  Arthur

  Sorry to hear all of that R.F. In regards to what you wrote:

  She couldn't really explain it, but I honestly just think she's worried that I questioned something the organization told us to believe. By the way I talked to her about scholars generally agreeing that Jerusalem wasn't destroyed in 607 B.C.E.

  Yes, I would certainly agree that saying anything like this to a loved one is very unnerving to them. Remember what the Watchtower study articles always say about the "seeds of doubt". The very fact that you would dare question anything that the sacred "Slave Class" teaches is a sign of a "lack of faith in Jehovah". Most JWs have completely mentally welded the organizational leadership to Jehovah, so that they no longer make a distinction between the two. Question any teaching = question the "Slave". Question the Slave = question Jehovah. This little mental equation is what controls the entire thought process. I guess Paul's warnings about not becomming "slaves of men" is an antiquated notion in the Watchtower organization.

  I have been through this with a couple of JWs. I learned very quickly to shut the conversation down and back-peddle as I could tell that they were getting irrationally upset by my line of questioning. If there is any silver lining to all of this; I would say that it is so much better that you came to these realizations before you got married. There are men on this forum who did not come to the realizations you made until they were married with children. Now, they feel trapped.

  Not that I am attempting to downplay you situation. I know it's hard. I am currently going through some serious tension with family because they know that I doubt the organization. It can be very painful.