Hi Koph: Sadly, since the Elders are already aware of your visiting web sites and forums that have critical information of the Watch Tower, there is not much you can do now. But, if you have family concerns and need to remain a JW - in name only - so you can continue family ties, this requires something that you may find objectionable - that is - fake reprentance and confusion because of critical ex-JW information.
If you are convincing enough, and ask them to 'set you straight' and 'readjust your thinking' you may be able to remain, although on restrictions. You will be watched closely, and it will take a long time to live down the distrust created by your searching into ex-JW sites.
If you find you cannot do this, then it is only a matter of time before they choose to disfellowship you for apostasy. There is little hope of convincing them that they are in error, or getting them to write to the Society foir clarification. Even if they accomodate you for a time and write to the Society, the response from the Watch Tower will be of little comnfort, and will side-step you issues, and you will eventually be disfellowshipped.
I was forcibly 'Disassociated' in 1995 because I expressed such concerns, and because the Elders believed lies about me, which were based on rumors they themselves started. Even though I tried to leave quietly, it took three years, and they found a way to 'officially' remove me from their organization. So, I have been where you are at now - and having served as an Elder before I left, I know this from both sides of the issue.
If you do not 'repent' in their eyes, then prepare yourself and your family for the worst. There are some verses in the Bible, though, that may help you buy some time with the Elders, by helping them to see you as weak, in need of help and guidance:
Acts 20:35, "In all things I gave you an example, that so laboring you ought to help the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that he himself said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Jude 1:21-22, "... keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. And on some have mercy, who are in doubt;"
Gal 6:1-2, "Brothers, even if a man be overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself, lest you also would be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."
Heb 5:12-14, "For when by reason of the time you ought to be teachers, you have need again that some one teach you the rudiments of the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of solid food. For every one that partakes of milk is without experience of the word of righteousness; for he is a babe. But solid food is for fullgrown men, (even) those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil."
I truly hope that you can make use of these verses, and appeal to the Elders to be slow to judge, and help you with mercy. But, all this said, you still have your conscience and the information that you know is truth, and if that conflicts with Watch Tower teaching and actions, then you must decide whether to try and stay in the organization in some way, or simply leave it and move on with your life. - Amazing
