HELP (page 3)

Kophagangelos

Borgfree, I have written a Email to Keith Macgregor! Thank you! I hope also I can get the aid of Jehovah and Jesus!

I am confident that if you ask our Lord for help it will be granted. I hope everything works out wonderful for you. I am forced to sign off now, I am a work and it is a little busy here right now. You will be fine I know.

borgfree

"You can fool some of the people all of the time" especially if you are a member of the WT GB

sweetone2377

NYT ~ Your words will not convince Kop to stay. It will only push her further away. If you wish to try to convince her to stay in the org., you should be more loving.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~ Matt. 5:6

Kophagangelos

I am HE! I will consider very much what I can do!

sweetone2377

Thank you Kop. I could not remember. Thank you for correcting me.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~ Matt. 5:6

Kophagangelos

Fine, Sweetone!

miner

Kophagangelos,
Good morning from Ukraine! Where are you located in Austria?
Miner

Kophagangelos

Vienna

Cassiline

Koph,
Another place for letters of dissociation. wwww.beyondjw.com

Writing a Letter
of Disassociation
By Timothy Campbell

This article may be freely distributed
as long as no text is altered or deleted.

Introduction
If you're ready to leave the Witnesses, you may wish to make it "official" by writing a "Letter of Disassociation". This is a formal procedure which has been used by countless people who no longer want to be identified as Jehovah's Witnesses.

Pros and Cons
Whether you write the letter or not is up to you, but you may wish to consider some of the various arguments for and against:

Pro

Writing the letter will give you a feeling of release. It can be considered a ritual of separation.
You can put your precise reasons for leaving in writing, which helps organize your thoughts and thus helps you stand firm if your reasons are questioned.
Researching the letter enables you to confirm your decision.
In later years, you can look back at the letter and review your reasons for leaving.
The letter ensures that everybody in the congregation will know that you have deliberately left and didn't just disappear.

Con

Some people view the letter as a requirement of the Society, for the Society's benefit. They see no reason why they must submit a piece of paper to get out of something they were doing voluntarily. (Note: Watchtower Sept. 15 1981, Page 23, also recognizes disassociation "by action")
As far as I know, the Society has never answered any of the issues raised in a Letter of Disassociation; the congregation is only required to forward Watchtower Forms S-77 and S79 so the Society can update their files.
If you mail your letter to the congregation, it is extremely unlikely that anyone will see it except a few Elders, whose faith in the Society is sufficiently strong that they will be able to forget about the matters you have addressed.
The substance of your letter will not be read to the congregation, but they will be informed that you have "fallen away" and should be avoided.
According to the Elders' guide, "Those who disassociate themselves should be viewed and treated the same as disfellowshipped persons." Some people may wish to delay this kind of treatment for as long as possible.

Apart from the points raised above, you can probably think of other "Pros and Cons". Leaving one's religion is not a decision taken lightly, and neither is one's choice of how to leave.

Suggested Procedure
If after weighing the alternatives, you decide that you want to write a Letter of Disassociation, here is an example of the steps you could take...

Carry a notepad around with you for a few days. Whenever you remember something about the Witnesses that bothers you, jot it down. You can look up the references later.

During this time, you can get the mail addresses of any Witnesses you particularly like. Tell them you're updating your list of friends to include their addresses (always a good idea!). While you're at it, you can also check to make sure your list has the right phone numbers. (The reason for making this address list will be become evident later.)

After a week, when your notes are done, you may wish to compare them with some of the resources available to ex-Witnesses (books, web sites, articles), to see you missed anything. Jot down the subjects that are important to you, along with the relevant references. It is best not to write down the precise wording, though. This is your letter and you will feel better about if it is written entirely in your own voice.

Organize your notes into logical order. Here is a sample outline:

Formal statement of disassociation.

A brief history of your introduction to the Witnesses and your positive impressions -- you've surely had some!

A discussion of "major issues" that forced you to disassociate. This part can be grouped by related topics, such as "Doctrinal", "Personal", "Social", "Organizational" and so on.

An explicit list of requests (e.g. "Don't do follow-up calls", "Don't try to shepherd my children"). If you have no specific requests, you can leave this part out.

Conclusion. (e.g. wish them well on their quest to find meaning, and assure them that you are pleased to have made your decision to broaden your search for truth).

At this point, you should proof-read your letter. It's a good idea to remove any "cranky" bits (e.g. calling them names, suggesting that they're the spawn of Satan etc.). You don't have to down-play any personal pain you've suffered, but if you sound bitter you only "prove" to them that you're not sure of your decision, or that it was not made rationally. Bear in mind that your letter will be read very critically, so clarity is important.

If possible, get a neutral party (a friend, relative or associate) to proof-read your letter and make suggestions.

It's highly unlikely that the Elders will let the congregation see your letter, so the day before sending it to the Elders, make copies and mail them to your Witness friends. Include a cover letter saying that you wanted them to know about an important decision in your life. You should also say that only certain special friends are receiving a copy of the letter, and that the list of recipients is strictly private. (This will reassure them that they won't get called before a committee for having read your letter.)

Submit the letter to the Elders. If you feel so motivated, you can also mail a copy to the Watchtower Society. There is reason to believe that these letters are kept on file, although you will almost certainly not get a reply.

If the Elders contact you again to "help", make sure that they focus on the specific issues of the letter. If they DO visit, it is likely that they will try to engage your enthusiasm for the organization and its promises, rather than particular issues. (This is not a pecular feature of the Society. In cases like these, most people will avoid difficult issues and deal with generalities if they can't address the specifics.)

The steps above are only suggestions. As the author of this article, I feel compelled to mention that I have not written a Letter of Disassociation, but I have helped several people with theirs.

In my case, I did not feel that a Letter of Disassociation was necessary, as I "drifted away" without anybody noticing. Your case may be different.

The important distinction is that now you are making your decisions. The Society can only tell you what to do if you grant them that right -- and apparently you have decided that you can live without their version of the truth.

C

When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

Kophagangelos

Thank you very much!

HELP

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