Why did you leave the org?

by A-Team 76 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  DazedAndConfused

  I was DF'd in 1989 and decided to get reinstated. Totally for family. In about 1990 I was in the hospital because I tried to commit suicide and my parents NEVER once came to the hospital for me. They now think that they did good because they called me on the phone. Don't get me wrong, I was happy they even took the time to call my "ass," but in the meantime, it sucked because they could not even take the time to see me in person. Can ya just feel the love?

  Anyway, I digress.

  This is not even the reason I left. I left when I got reinstated in 1995. My daughter, who at the time was well entrenched in "the truth" told me that she had never seen anyone "study" as much as I did. It drove her absolutely crazy. And she was an active witless. I love her to this day and I am happy to say that she eventually "saw the light" and now is not a witless.

  Again, I digress.

  In 1995 I was reinstated. Funny thing about it was that I was so stressed that I felt I had to go to the meetings drunk or even on the brink of it. No one noticed, apparently. My non-jw husband was with me in the grocery store, searching for more booze, when we encountered an elder in my committee. He and his wife went against the rules and had just left a "worldly" wedding. tsk, tsk. Anyway, he told me in the grocery store that the elders wanted to talk to me because I was to be reinstated. Good on one hand because I would get my family back but bad because I never once quit smoking. (Convenient since I was married to a "worldly" man and he smoked so no one noticed by smell that it was not just him but me that was smoking.

  OK, that is still not telling the whole story.

  There were 2 (maybe more?) reasons that made me leave.

  (1) The first thing that got to me, was one morning I was to go out into servitude. I walked by my diningroom table and looked down at a "witchtower" and saw a pic of the Pope. Yet again they were blasting other religions. Since then I have, because of being here, seen the pattern of "it wasn't me/us" attitude. Very sociopathic. I felt at the time that it was arrogant on their part, and because of personal experience, I felt that one (even an organization) should stand on their own merits rather than trying to make themselves look better when they have masses of people waiting on their every word as to who you can/cannot associate with, how you should conduct yourself at a convention...etc. At that moment I had an epiphany. I am an adult and I have a mind of my own and no one, and I mean no one should tell me what to do. As a witless I always let others dictate what/how I should feel. I felt anger at that moment at the control over me.

  (2) And to me this was the end of the end. I was out in servitude and I remember talking to a man who objected to what we were doing. He felt that we should not push our beliefs on others. I then did the jw thing and started with rebuttals (sp.) I remember standing there listening to this man, thinking about what I had said to him, thinking about the fact that I kept over riding his objections yet never actually processing what he was saying. Even in the middle of this I thought "I'm a salesman/person."

  Until I came onto this board I never realised that others felt/feel the same way. I never thought of the babble society as controlling me. I did however figure it out and I am so happy I am out.
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  Open mind

  I didn't. At least not physically.

  That prolly explains all the stomach acid.

  Open Mind
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  Handsome Dan

  Thought I was getting an acute education on ignorance and it was obvious that the powers to be were corrupt and full of themselves, not a natural way to live in my opinion

  Sometimes when men swallow so much power for themselves they get sick and eventually spew out ignorance and stupidity, which only then the general public has to try and absorb.

  Bad things may happen when fear is in support of ignorance, as history shows us.

  You might say that the tainted spritual food made me sick
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  bluebell

  lack of love shown. i was abused by my father (an elder) and he got more help than i did. i was seen as bad association and a pain in the butt cos i was so depressed.
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  Vernon Williams

  The Elders in Monett, MO wanted me to lie as a pledge of loyalty.

  Clean break: forty years went down the tube in one forty minute conversation.

  Funny how those situations work.....

  Yours in this Journey,

  V
• 

  B_Deserter

  Where do I start?
  
  1. When I was 8, I mocked a suicide attempt in front of my parents. My mom confided in one of the elders. Pretty soon, my friends stopped inviting me to their homes, and always came up with excuses when I invited them to mine. The elder my mom confided in forbade his children (and warned all the other parents in the hall, I thought sheparding from the elders was supposed to be confidential?) from associating with me. These elders are notorious for violating confidentiality by telling their wives what goes on in the hall. The wives, in turn, gossip about it to the other wives, and consequently ruins your reputation. I always figured isolating someone with suicidal thoughts from their friends does more harm than good, but the elders in the hall I grew up with only concerned with their own families' well-being.
  
  2. The elder body in my hall was (and still is) mostly consisted of fleshly brothers. It really defeats the purpose of having a BODY of elders. They also notoriously shielded their children from punishment when they did something wrong. When I was a kid, a teen boy (elder's son) and girl (dad was worldly) got caught smoking. Teen boy was given private reproof, privileges taken away for less than 1 month. The girl, on the other hand, despite being repentant, was disfellowshipped. She made every meeting for the next year, and when she asked to be reinstated, they told her she wasn't "worthy." She went to another hall, and the elders there reinstated her almost on the spot, despite the strong recommendations against it from her original committee.
  
  3. The incessant browbeating of 1 Corinthians 15:33 over my head for the first two decades of my life, and the fact that the Society pronounces a blanket "bad association" judgment on all those not affiliated with the group.
  
  Despite this, I still had a pretty strong conviction, until a couple years ago when we started studying at Book Study:
  
  4. Pay Attention to Daniel's Prophecy. This book contains some of the most ludicrous statements I have ever read. It is riddled with logical gulfs, making connections between modern events and the book of Daniel in the same fashion a charlatan like John Edward or Silvia Browne would. The first study in this book start my path to doubt.
  
  5. The fact that the Society lambasts the Council of Nicea for being the start of "apostacy," yet believes that the bible compiled by that very same committee is the complete word of God, despite the fact that there were several other Gospels written that they threw out for theological reasons. Sorry brothers, either the council of Nicea was wrong or they were right, you can't have it both ways.
  
  6. One day, my mom wondered aloud to me, "Why do we insist that people read our literature, but we refuse to read theirs?"
  
  7. The latest debacle with the GB and the FDS, as well as the whole "no shorts/jeans/tshirts after convention" edict was the straw that broke the camels back for me.
• 

  greendawn

  The power is too centralised there are a hanful of people who claim a monopoly on all authority and divine inspiration. That doesn't sound right surely there must other members that can contribute perhaps even more than them. Their suppression by the leadership is unacceptable.

  Also there is a gross lack of real love in the local JW communities. They ask a lot and give little back.
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  Honesty

  I finally got deathly sick eating the mushroom food that the Faithful Discreet Slave prepares and told them I was going to start feeding at another table.
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  Hermano

  1. Got tired of being micromanaged by elders. If you miss a meeting you get talked to, if you go to all the meetings but step outside the Hall for a breath of fresh air once in a while, you get talked to. If sit in the back room instead of the main hall you get talked to.

  2. Do more, more, more. If you miss meetings and stop missing meetings, they want you to preach. If you go out preaching they want you to preach more. If you preach more, they want you place some literature. If you place literature they want you to do return visits. If you do return visits they want you to conduct bible studies.... it goes on an on and on. It is never enough, you always have to do more because you do love Jehovah, right?

  3. I read the entire bible cover to cover on my own a couple of times. I think the spirit of Christ is missing in a lot of the things that are said and done by the borg.

  4. And the straw that broke the camels back the teaching about the Generation of 1914 will pass away passing away after it was taught like it was a biblical fact. I remember being about 12 and asking my brother (who was giving me my study cause my dad was the PO and was too busy with other matters) about that. It just did not make sense to me. I said what if some madman reads that and decides he's gonna kill all the old folks to speed up Armagedon, then what? And without missing a beat my brother said, then that means that Armagedon will be right behind him. And I actually beleived that crap!
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  Darth Yhwh

  1. Got tired of being micromanaged by elders. If you miss a meeting you get talked to, if you go to all the meetings but step outside the Hall for a breath of fresh air once in a while, you get talked to. If sit in the back room instead of the main hall you get talked to.

  2. Do more, more, more. If you miss meetings and stop missing meetings, they want you to preach. If you go out preaching they want you to preach more. If you preach more, they want you place some literature. If you place literature they want you to do return visits. If you do return visits they want you to conduct bible studies.... it goes on an on and on. It is never enough, you always have to do more because you do love Jehovah, right?

  3. I read the entire bible cover to cover on my own a couple of times. I think the spirit of Christ is missing in a lot of the things that are said and done by the borg.

  4. And the straw that broke the camels back the teaching about the Generation of 1914 will pass away passing away after it was taught like it was a biblical fact. I remember being about 12 and asking my brother (who was giving me my study cause my dad was the PO and was too busy with other matters) about that. It just did not make sense to me. I said what if some madman reads that and decides he's gonna kill all the old folks to speed up Armagedon, then what? And without missing a beat my brother said, then that means that Armagedon will be right behind him. And I actually beleived that crap!

  Well said, my friend! Here's to your freedom!

  Welcome to the forum.