Bathory vs Farkel (vampire gets blood poisoning}:)

by unclebruce 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    G'day tax dodgers,

    This post is to clear up my view of the riddle/challenge Bathory (the Watchtower vampire) put to the Farkelmeister (cult fighter par excellance) some time ago on h20.

    Those not interested please tune out now. Bathory - I'm only posting this because you dragged me in from the sidelines.

    OK The story in a nutshell: Bathory challenged Farkel to solve a riddle within 48 hours. If certain conditions were met Bathory would pay Farkel $2,500 (if my memory glands serve me right) So confident was Vampireman that Farkel was allowed a little help if he got stuck.

    Farkel came back with the correct answer within the alloted time. (by all accounts he'd spent many hours dredging the depths of that magnificent cranium of his and come up with the solution .. we missed the mans wit and charm but life went on) Farkel won fair and square (to coin a freemason phrase)

    By all accounts Bathory lost the bet and now owedd Farkel bigtime (well bigtime to farthingless Farkel .. no skin off multi-millionare Bathory's hooter .. according to his own publicity)

    Bathory acknowledged the debt .. Farkel was in desperate straights so I (also skint at the time) pleaded with Bathory to at least send Farkel something. Bathory agreed, I went to Sydney, met Bathory (he's a fun guy, .. really .. mad as a cut snake .. but about as fun as any back alley cut-throut, mother murdering bastard i've met this side of the big blue mountains separating the latte drinkers from the real men .. oops i digress ..

    Bathory emptied his wallet off almost $500Aust ($250US) and I rushed down to send an american express cheque off to Farkel in California. (and just made it home .. the bush beast sometimes runs on the smell of an oily rag .. thank mitsubishi)

    Bathboy - I never said Farkel cheated or anything of the kind - if that was so why pay him any money at all? Bathory, to be blunt, I think the whole excercise crass and sick and did from the very begining (I don't believe in toying with people that way - money is kinda evil enough in our lives without playing funny bugger games like some marble tossing school boys) All jokes aside and with no ill feeling .. in my book you still owe Farkel $2,250US.

    As it happens Farkel would love to come to Australia and I'd love to have the bloke stay with me a while. Trouble is I'm pennyless as a banicoot ... tell you what - you do the right thing .. buy him a return ticket and I'll put him up at my bush bolt hole. Hey we could give him a tour of sin city he'd never forget .. you'd redeem yourself and once again be free to sleep at night (albeit upside down in a cave

    You can be a real funny guy Bathory .. even though we're opposite men in so many ways .. I love the bush, you thrive in the city. I chase wombats with cameras, you chase dollars with fast cars .. but at least we're both aussies who love 'the truth'

    cheers, pontifix bruce

    PS: I guess you'll be at the Superdome today listening to the wonderfull instruction from mother borg .. sorry you can't text me this time .. i'm phoneless (one step up from bro.farkel .. who's homeless :(

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Curiouser and Curioser. How ya doing UNCLE?

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    UncleBruce,

    I have an idea. I myself do not have a lot of money (barely scraping by myself)but, If all of us registered poster were to donate $20.00usa dollars to Farkel. That would help him keep his place until he can get back on his feet maybe?

    If Farkel will put up a paypal for himself. I will be the first to donate, and I challange each and every one of the other registered posters to do so also.

    Lets hear it guys! Are you with us?

    Lilacs
    edited for my bad spelling.
    "I don't want someone in my life I can live with, I want someone in my life I can't live without."

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    I'm up to helping out, where do we send the somoans?

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Yeru, I guess we'll have to wait until we hear from Farkel as to where we send the money.

    Lilacs

    "I don't want someone in my life I can live with, I want someone in my life I can't live without."

  • belbab
    belbab

    Uncle Bruce, How da ole song go? An his voice may be heard as ya piss by da billybong, ya’ll neber catch me live saze he.

    Good to see ya back.

    You gotta problem, maybe? Some vampireman not coughing up da goods? Whatzis address, maybe me an da boys can lean on him a little. Send him a Crizmaz cart or better yed a Valentine’s cart. with a few small black holes in it.

    But before we do dat, drop a note to his own mob, to the three stooges who decide on who’s in an who’s out. Let dem know he not bin payin up, he is welchin a bit and bringin dishonor to his own mob. If they don’t get him for dat den, tell dem he bin rakin in a little on da side, and cavortin with dem bad guys from across on da udder side. he bin sidlin up to dem no good hell’s angels.

    glad to be of help,

    belbab

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    G'day Farkelites,

    Yeru, how are things in the deep south these days? Vanity your favorite sin? I thought it was a double blonde laced with plunging neckline? ..

    cheers unc, "If it's a choice between two evils .. give me the one I haven't tried yet"

    ***

    G'day Lilacs,

    This post wasn't meant as a plea for donations to the homless apostate fund just a wake up call for a recalcitrant jw. .. but i'm sure mr.farkel would dearly appreciate any good vibes sent his way ('good vibes' might sound funny but I can't bring myself to use double-speak words like 'encouragement' here ;)

    ***

    Belbab? You sound way too understanding for an innocent bystander. mmm ... I'll go now .. I feel an attack of the 'don't I know you's' comming on .. Bloody hell! You can't be the blood sucker? can ya?? OK you got my suspicious mind racing (wife says I gotta calm the monkeys in my head) I recon you oughta email me .. please. .. till then my only comment is: It's been a good year for the posers.

    serious unc, who'd ship Farkel to Australia as 3rd class baggage if he could and never hardly told nobody that stuff about Bathory!

    [email protected]

  • TR
    TR

    Lilacs,

    I'm in. Let me know the details.

    TR

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    I'm more than willing to give the old guy a dollar or two, but the question is:

    would the Farkelmeister accept it?

    It'd be worth a try though, especially if it meant he could come to the Land Down Under! what a party that would be! )

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Lilacs, TR it's folks like you who make this world a wonderful place. Farkel's a lucky man to have you as friends.

    Seriously, if anyone want's to send Farkel a gift, just post it to me at PO box 660 Bega 2550 Australia and I'll make sure he gets it. Farkel is hard to contact and perhaps someone in the US (like thinkerswife or alan f) would be a better conduit.

    Mr.Farkel, I'm calling.

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