by JH 29 Replies latest jw friends
A couple of Benson & Hedges menthols I stole from a pack of cigarettes that my "worldly" friend's mother had lying on her dining room table. Yes, I got a nasty head rush and almost threw up what was in my stomach. Oh yeah, since I stole them, it can be considered a double sin.
Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)
#1) faking feild service reports
#2) posting here
#3) playing lottery
#4) hanging out with "worldly friends"
I wanted to make sure when I went for my first judicial at 16 that I had broken all of the ten commandments as well as as many of the made up JW ones as I could. So I did them and ticked them off as follows:
Ex 20:3 "You shall not have any other gods against my face." I worshipped Daisy Duke and Face (A Team) from age 8 and stuck them on the reverse side of scriptures stuck on my bedroom wall, which I turned round to gaze upon at bedtime.
Ex 20:4 You must not commit idolatry - have a carved image etc... I bought and wore my first cross when I left at home at 16
Ex 20: 7 - You must not commit blasphemy -.... I accidentally began blaspheming at age 6 when I picked up the common phrase in the school playground "Oh mh Guaaaard".
Ex 20:8 - You must observe the sabbath ... I observed Black Sabbath from age 12 when I found out about them listening in on a bible study where my parents advised the study that she would have to burn her demonic albums right away and they did. Stinking vinyl!
Ex 20:12 - Honour your father and mother: One of my earliest memories is of being 4 or 5 and wetting myself so I could make us late for a the meeting before field service so that we wouldnt know where they were working and escape a dull afternoon, but being smacked for it and put to bed (this summarises my entire childhood in fact - although I managed to grow out of wetting myself by about 8 or 9 - troubled child!). I sat crosslegged on my bed and uttered over and over again loudly so they could hear it "I HATE YOU". Then I said a prayer asking them to be struck dead.
Ex 20:13 - You must not murder. I tried to murder myself quite seriously when I was 16 and being shunned by my family prior to disfellowshipment by swallowing 100 paracetemol and a bottle of glenfiddich and gallons of water while I watched the Saturday ITV Chart Show and hoped I'd live long enough to see who was no1. I hadnt actually realised that this is a disfellowshipping offence. At the judicial I was asked did I realise that and was I repentant to which I replied dully (thanks to a pre kangaroo court diamond white) "No I still want to die".
Ex 20:14 - You must not commit adultery. This one I couldnt manage but I kissed a married woman and hoped that counted. I decided fornication would probably cut it and I had sex for the first time with a guy called Chris purely so that I could bring something juicy to the judicial table. After all thats what they expected - that I left so I could have sex and I couldn't bear to disappoint the elder's bodys - I mean the body of elders. I then did not have sex having lost my virginity for another two years until I felt old enough and mature enough.
Ex 20: 15 - you must not steal. I started penny pinching when I was 10 from my dads margarine tub full of change. Like father like daughter.
Ex 20:16 - You must not lie. I started lying before I could speak, by smiling when I was miserable because my mother would pinch me to remind me to smile so people could see how happy god's people were.
Ex 20:17 - You must not covet. I had nothing growing up and wanted everything I saw.
And Jw rules I broke: included masturbation, smoking, smoking cannabis and dropping acid and e's and drinking heavily and engaging in homosexual sex and viewing porn.
Crumpet is going to hell
Crumpet is going to hell
I know exciting isn't it!
Crumpet of the Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't class
Crumpet is going to hellI know exciting isn't it!
Good morning Crumples... LOL
See ya there!
There are so many JW rules, I cannot even begin to say what all I have broken. I have been gone so long, I cannot even recall what all was 'wrong' to do. Perhaps I never really even knew them all....then I may not have been in so much trouble all the time.
Crumpet is going to hellI know exciting isn't it!
Good morning Crumples... LOL
See ya there!
There are so many JW rules, I cannot even begin to say what all I have broken. I have been gone so long, I cannot even recall what all was 'wrong' to do. Perhaps I never really even knew them all....then I may not have been in so much trouble all the time.
Sparkles I suggest you begin by confessing you "skin care regime" with sixofnine - I'm sure that involves some onanistic sin!
I'm sure that involves some onanistic sin!
You have my beauty routine all wrong.. BAD CRUMPLES!! So very dirty. lol
double post.
I'm going to go smoke a cigarette and think about it.
