JWs and Love towards their families

by R.F. 53 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  reneeisorym

  "I can't stand to see these parents spending time with their children that left Jehovah. They're going to be gone when Armageddon comes so why bother with them anyway?"

  My experience is that its has been easier for someone to make these comments when it hasn't happened to them personally. I believe it really deeply hurts those who have to shun a dear loved one. Some do it because its easier to just forget than it is to talk to them and keep reminding themselves of the situation. Some people keep talking to them sometimes because they can't bare to shun them totally.

  It really is horrible what the organization does to people. There is "no natural affection." They are all brainwashed to not show any. I think a lot of them are good people at heart... some not so good ....

  Renee
• 

  Mum

  How strange to believe that because people die and come back, they will be somehow different and "acceptable to Jehovah" all of a sudden. Every night I go to sleep (and, to JW's death is merely sleep), and, when I wake up the next morning, I am still the same. I had a relative that believed black people would turn white in heaven. So, is Jehovah going to change his criteria for acceptability for those who are resurrected?

  It's hard to believe I used to listen to this stuff and not hear the illogical nature of such nonsense.

  Regards,

  SandraC
• 

  JK666

  Witness love is conditional.

  Witness love is not "agape," it is "a gape."

  Pray for them, because they are mind controlled. Just like Stephen said, "Forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

  JK
• 

  changeling

  RF, I too heard statements like those many, many times. The reason for such unfeeling attitudes is that the WT does not teach unconditional love. While I agree that not everyone is worthy of our unconditional love, our children certainly are. I think unconditionl love defines parenthood. To not love out children unconditionally is child abuse. I speak from experience, my parents love was very conditional.
• 

  B_Deserter

  It's mind-boggling to me how fickle friendships in the organization can be. If you decide to leave, your friends will forget about all those years with you in an instant.
• 

  RubyParker

  I know that with more experience on this forum that I will eventually ease off telling overly personal stories, but this reminds me of the last conversation I had with my mother. We had always had a fairly good, joking relationship and were reasonably close until I left at 16. I used to phone home about once every year, just hoping that they might show some interest in my life. This never happened, of course.
  The last time I spoke with my mother was probably 7 or 8 years ago. I was in my early twenties and had already been through so much. I started to break down crying telling her how much I needed them. My mother said to me with a smile in her voice that I could actually hear, "Ruby, your father and I are over you. It's been (however many) years, we just don't cry about you anymore. We've moved on and so have your brother and sister".
  She then told me that the only home my father and she have for me is that I might die in an accident before Armageddon so that I have a chance of being resurrected. Having your mother tell her that she is "over" you, and that she hopes you might die soon - no matter what the context - is very painful to carry around.
  I feel almost guilty for indulging myself here, airing my dirty laundry with this memory, but I realized that I've almost never mentioned it since and how often I think of it. Painful stuff.
• 

  poppers

  Wow, Ruby, that's really sad. My heart goes out to you.
• 

  R.F.

  Wow Ruby! I'm so sorry to hear that.

  I can't imagine what that must feel like.

  I pray and hope the best for you and to continue in life happy.

  R.F.
• 

  poppers

  This thread has to be one of the most heart wrenching ones on this board. It is stories such as these that I think about when dubs come to my door and I tell them I don't agree with some of their policies. When they ask which ones I say how it breaks up families. One lady in particular pressed the issue and so I mentioned the shunning and how she knew in her heart that it wasn't right. "It's in the bible" was her response, but I continued to say how she really KNEW in her heart that it was wrong. I could see the "happy face" that was cemented in place for others to see begin to falter as I continued to press this one point until finally she couldn't take it any more and literally ran away. A few weeks later I bumped into her in a store and of course I got a smidgen of a taste of what real exJWs feel when they are ignored, but I understood what was happening. Her behavior spoke loudly of how deeply the indoctrination had become - it was sad.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  I'm so sorry for all the pain I'm reading about here.

  Thankfully, we learn from it and we learn to love one another and appreciate life and humanity because of it.

  We will never repeat those tragic mistakes.

  Now we move on. Now we live in the moment. Now we become aware of how we need one another and enrich one another.

  Love and respect,

  nvr