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BlackSwan of Memphis

I live in MI and was raised a JW. I left officially in 05, but my thinking had evolved before then.
If you're at this board, you're probably asking questions, or have asked questions and realized that the answers are not what you had thought they were.
If you're looking at this profile, you probably read one of my posts.
I suppose there is only ONE thing I would want anyone to know:
Heal.
This place can help, but it can also drag you down and keep you from going forward.
Sitting around and bitching about the JW's for the rest of your life is NOT going to bring anyone you have lost BACK into your life. It won't replace the years you believe you lost to the Organization.
Live your life that you have now and enjoy it.
Often this means making a new life. And making a new life is not that easy.
But unless you plan on going back, the only other option is to go forward.
I got tired of posting here.
I got tired of people complaining and bitching back and forth. I got tired of the lack of objectivity.
Don't let your JW past define your future.
YOU DEFINE WHO YOU ARE.
Blessed Be and Peace Be Unto You
May your path be filled with all that is good and pure.

Apparently this has pissed a few people off. I'm not one to explain things anymore as it seems an enormous waste of time.

But let me clarify:

Quite frankly, I got so sick and tired of watching believers got dogged on by non believers. I got tired of watching people who still cling to some belief get treated like they are nothing more then fools.

Opinion is great. I learned that. Everybody is open for their own opinion.

I have mine. You have yours.

But for all that this place has helped me heal, it has also kept me in a state of anger at times watching the arguments between people. And after awhile I found that for me, I was no longer healing I was staying in the mindset of a JW more then what I wanted to.

And I have found through conversations with people who used to post here that they had the same experience.

I finally had to pull away. I didn't mean to offend people. But I can't take back my words and say I don't mean them, I do.

Sometimes healing needs to come by pushing yourself to move forward. This is a choice an individual must make for themself and I don't disrespect those who have chosen to stay for various reasons, this was my reason and it was the last piece of advice I felt like giving.

My apologies for hurt feelings. That was sincerely not my intention.

I hope you take care of yourselves and find healing. For those of you that wish to keep in contact with me, you for the most part know where to find me.

peace out

DJK

My sincerest best wishes to you. Stay strong and Stand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZITvtotBbzI

DawnLS620

Hi Black Swan,

I live in Michigan too. . .and just read your post and thought it was GREAT!! Actually, I posted much the same thing this morning on the "personal license plates" thread. If you go to that thread. . .you'll see how we said almost the exact same things. I TOTALLY agreed with what you said about how this can help AND it can keep you in the same place too. We think much along the same lines. At some point you have to let go and begin to heal. It's necessary, as you said, if you're going to "have a life" again. I even got some private messages from many people, encouraging me not to be silent, as I wondered if I was saying too much as a new person on here.

Thanks for your post. . .I'm sure it will be accepted by some and hard to swallow for others.

Dawn (I live about 40 minutes from Detroit)

BlackSwan of Memphis

Thank you for the encouragement you guys, I really,really appreciate it.

I will go over and check out that thread Dawn plus too, you'll have a pm shortly.

juni

Hi BlackSwan!

I understand what you are saying....... I certainly don't hold any animosity towards those who move on.... I wish you every success.

Peace be with you also.

Hugs, Juni

I wanted to bring this back up here because I believe many didn't see it - I didn't. It is very funny! Thanks BlackSwan for the humor!

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/25/133496/1.ashx

BlackSwan of Memphis

Thank you Juni.

It's been VERY hard not posting here. I check every single Tuesday to see how the vigil is doing and keep you all in my thoughts. I'll lurk A Little, because I know that this where I'll find out how Ian is doing, this is where I'll find out how Out and Sassy are doing. I can't find that out. But once I start posting, my life becomes absorbed with JWism stuff. And I can so easily fall into it all. And for me, that's just really not healthy.

theinfamousone

in most cases i would agree with you black swan... you need to move on.. but also, you need to realize that this religion has caused so many issues with alot of us... mental anguish, emotional damage, and in some cases, even physical harm... some of us need to talk about our feelings... for some of us, this is our way of moving on... to talk about it... we like it, we need it...

so move on, define your future and don't look down on the people here... some are angry, some are hurt, some are finished (as you supposedly are) and some just need to vent.... give them their space, and their time... if you're done with it, well good for you, leave... and dont make other people feel like crap for wanting to vent... like i said, some need it... and there is no better place for them than this!!!

the infamous one(the one who is defining his own future, but still angry!)

BlackSwan of Memphis

Hey there, IO.

I am Not looking down my nose at people who need to vent. I won't even qualify that with a but. Yes people need to vent.

And since you might not know me very well, I have had my share of shit happen as a result of the religion. That was the primary reason I put this on a profile and not a topic starter. There is a time for everything and moving on is one of them. For some it is nearly impossible because of circumstances.

This was written from a new and different perspective and aimed at people who can relate and are looking for a new road. It is Not aimed at all the JWD members here. This place Does provide a place to heal, yet there comes a time where we are treading water and not moving forward even though we could or should. And it is not my place to say who is ready and who is not, it is a personal decision. Therefore it was not aimed at everyone or anyone in particular.

Crumpet

BSOM

I am definitely one of those who has been scathing in the past of believers, quite openly and often unkindly. However this board has helped me become more tolerant and less ridiculing. Xena and LT in particular have helped me, with a few well placed words here and there. I learn things here amongst dear friends and then practice them in real life.

I hope you continue to progress forward with joy.

(((bsom)))

poppers

I enjoyed your post; it shows how you've grown. Life is right now, but when beliefs that have been relinquished are left roaming in the mind there is still some attachment to them and life as it is right now isn't fully experienced. Let go of it all and move fully into the present moment. This moment, fully experienced without beliefs coloring or distorting it in any way, is full of peace. In this moment right now you are home; when beliefs are present, even if they are beliefs about relinquished beliefs, you will stray from that peace.

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