They insisted I come over for a debate, a chance for them to save me since according to my mother this was "a matter of life and death." Basically I spent the whole evening passively nodding my head and acknowledging what they said. I tried a few times to argue or debate but getting through to them was impossible.
The funny thing is that I told my mom about the no t-shirt/jeans thing at the convention this year and she wouldn't believe me. They didn't have an April KM handy for me to show them. I'm going to go this year because I'm curious how many people are going to obey this. Anyway, I went home and left them with the impression I was going to study some more. I did. This time was different though. For the first time in my life I saw the literature through the eyes of someone "in the world," and I couldn't help but laugh. The literature is full of faulty logic.
I've decided that I'm probably going to do the fade, very gradually. I'll keep up appearances at the hall just enough to satisfy my family, but I'm no longer going to live by their rules. I will read and study what I want to study. The funny thing about the Society is that I don't think they really care if you believe it or not, just as long as you keep your dissenting views to yourself.
If I do eventually make a clean break, I think at this point it's far too premature. An entire lifetime in the group has landed me zero friends outside. I have some family, but they are quite religious and since I am not they may not receive me too well. What I have to do is start forming friendships with a more diverse crowd outside the witness, then, when I have a good enough base, break away officially. Of course, at this point I'll probably be ignored by pretty much all of the witnesses anyway so I probably won't even need to do that.
Anyway, I feel better that my parents are satisfied that they at least tried.