A Potential Close Friendship....Should I Pass On It?

R.F.

I'm currently active in the congregation but I want to make an exit.

Now there is a brother about my age in my congo that i've spent more time with lately. I really didn't consider him this at the time but he told me that he doesn't really have many he's open to, and he said he considers ME one of those close friends of his. We have alot in common, we get along well, and I have a great time when we hang out. At the same time, however, he flat out told me once that no matter how close he is to someone, if they left Jehovah(we all know the organization is implied) that it's the same as that person leaving him, so he'd have to drop them.

I want to exit the org, by fade if at all possible, but i've gotten the mind to DA lately.

Should I not worry about this friendship or continue to build it? I know that if I DA it would be over and I would put all that time into a friendship for nothing.

R.F.

serendipity

I see anti-witnessing opportunities....

It seems that you may view this as a waste of time if you don't remain friends. So don't spend more time on this than you can afford to 'waste'. (I personally don't consider time spent with another human being a waste of time, because in the end, relationships are what matter, but that's my value system. )

Gopher

he flat out told me once that no matter how close he is to someone, if they left Jehovah(we all know the organization is implied) that it's the same as that person leaving him, so he'd have to drop them.

Your friend may say that now, but if you're close he'll really miss you! If the pull of the organization is that strong, odds are he'll keep his word. But you never know. When you leave, he'll either find something make him believe it was your fault, or he'll really start to wonder why such a good guy decided to leave.

In the end, if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, and he abandons your friendship, you'll still have time to make lots of other friends outside Watchtower World who'll let you be the real you.

hubert

At the same time, however, he flat out told me once that no matter how close he is to someone, if they left Jehovah(we all know the organization is implied) that it's the same as that person leaving him, so he'd have to drop them.

That kind of says it all, doesn't it?

Hubert

darth frosty

IMO you should share your understanding of the Borg to him and let him make his own decision. The reason I say this is 2 fold.
1. It provides closure to your friend. If you were to just fade he thinks he lost his friend to this evil system of things(and perhaps draws closer to the Borg.) By either sharing what you know with him or at the very least pointing him in a direction to do research, you are not leaving him out in the cold.
2. Not to put pressure on you, but we must start to expose this decrepit religion for what it is. Just today I saw a man who I used to look up to. we spoke and the standard dub question comes up 'what congo are you at now?' I looked him straight in the eye and I told him 'I no longer go to the hall and I am very happy with my choice.' Of course he than went on to say how they need strong young brothers like me in the hall, I responded rather flipantly, yeah thats been the case for the last century.' I now feel while the fade allows you to somewhat save face, the truth, about the troof must get out.

R.F.

Valid points.

The thing is he is a cool guy, we can relate on so many things. I guess the thing i'm worried most about is if he could be potentially one added to the list of ones that turn their back on you if you leave.

I too see the benefit of continuing it and get him to start thinking. At the same time I know many of you that have ones in the org that continued to be friends with you when you exited.

Something for me to think about.

R.F.

lonelysheep

I guess the thing i'm worried most about is if he could be potentially one added to the list of ones that turn their back on you if you leave.

Well, can you become closer to him without putting your heart into it? You could be his once a year sheparding call if he decides to stick with the wt, or a possible future safe zone should he ever have his own personal doubts.

GoingGoingGone

If you can manage the potential effects of his cutting you out of his life suddenly, then I'd say to continue your friendship. I think you should live each day you have to it's fullest potential. Having close friends is a great experience in life.

It's very hard if the friend cuts you off, but then again, he might wonder why you are leaving and follow you out! You never know.

I was a JW my entire life, and had friends who I'd shared everything with for decades. They all pretty much ignore me now. I was very depressed about it at first, but I'm glad that I've had such unbelievably close friends. Teaches you a lot about yourself, I think.

GGG

Stealth453

Considering that this fellow made it plain that he values the wt more than real friendship, I would give this one a real big pass.

jaguarbass

Based on your information, you need to move it on down the road.

A Potential Close Friendship....Should I Pass On It?

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