by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends
Soon after I'm deleted, actually I stepped down and gave the prayer the night it was announced. The C.O. told the body to have me close with prayer to ease the minds of the brothers and sisters. This has never been done before as far as I can ascertain.
Blueblades, this was done with my husband when he was deleted. The reason for the prayer was so the congregation would know the brother was still "in good standing".
Blueblades:
I've read some of your horror stories before and my heart goes out to you. You prove that anytime someone submits to a JC it's a crap shoot.
My advice: stay out of the back room if at all possible.
The JWD poster "Confession" has some great threads on the whole unscriptural nature of Kangaroo Courts.
Open Mind
My impression from many discussions with elders on this is usually matters come up to the elders only because someone does confess. Guilt usually gets the better of them from all the harping and guilt building done at the meetings. At a minimum a person is going to get reproved no matter what because they must be "disciplined " and the "congregation must be kept clean before Jehovah".
Also, the witness view of repentance seems interesting because it really goes beyond "feeling sorry and regret" for something. Someone may be totally depressed and beside themselves with a problem and yet they will be disfellowshipped if a serious sin is repeated. From what I gather "repentance to the jdubs means 'a knowing you will never under any circumstances commit this certain sin again and proving it perhaps by time going by without that sin coming up'. This of course going directly against other things they say but what matters is how the JC looks at it not what is printed elsewhere. This is a real problem for someone with an addiction. Of course, the JC doesn't buy addictions (you are simply wicked). Certain things that are said take on a new meaning when we realize this such as when a witness say's, 'so and so had to be disfellowshipped...they just didn't want to give up smoking...'. Whenever I heard this I thought 'well, he doesn't want to quit'. How wrong! That person actually wanted to quit but couldn't because it was an addiction....
Then again, I know of a case where someone committed rape and yet was only reproved...that's another story...
Just another example of elders not following the directives of the Master:
Luke 17:3,4: Pay attention to yourselves. If your brother commits a sin give him a rebuke, and if he repents forgive him. Even if he sins seven times a day against you and he comes back to you seven times, saying 'I repent,' you must forgive him."
--Inkie
I confessed - no one knew about and she didn't even want to tell them (she wanted to get a hotel room the next day and keep at it! - shoulda taken her up on the offer damn it) Anyway I was sorry - was a mess about it - but because I had a strike against my name in a previous cong they DF'd me. I had to go through the pain and then the humiliation of going through what happened in detail with 3 men for nothing.
Glad they did though otherwise I am sure I'd still be there...
Here's a story I just heard recently.My Grandma died in 1996 or so.My Grandpa got lonley and remarried a woman he didn't really know and who barley spoke English.At the time my single Aunt still lived at home.She had never moved out and was never married.
Ok so a few months go by and the new step grandmother was not happy with my Aunt still living at home.So she decided to go to the Elders and tell them and anyone else who would listen that my Grandpa and Aunt were fornicating together.She told the Spanish elders and the English Elders the same story.Not the she suspected it but she actually caught them at it.
So the Elders pull my Aunt and my Grandfather into a JC based on her acusations.A man and a woman who had been JW's their entire lives and had never had any reproach on their names ever before.They of course denied the acusations and the BOE had no choice but to dismiss the acusations but with a warning that my Aunt should move out.
So my Aunt moves out.To my cousins house.It was a double and she moved into the upstairs apartment.It was 2 doors away from my Grandpa's house.About a month later my step grandmother said she witnessed my Aunt flash my Grandpa in the window of her new apartment.One thing you should know is the house my Grandpa owned had only one window on that side of the house.and it was blocked by the house next door.So you couldn't see outside of the window to my Cousins house at all.
So another JC was formed based on her acusations .Again my Aunt and Grandpa were pulled into JC's to defend themselves against baseless acusations from a jealous woman.So this time it was decided that my Grandpa was going to sell his house he had raised his family in and move to a building for seniors.So he did.
Then this woman started feeding my Grandpa rotten food and trying to hurt him phyiscaly.My Grandpa went to the Elders many times telling them of the abuse he was suffering from this woman.She was playing the inoccent woman scorned.He had to finally file for a seperation and evict her from this new apartment.He got a divorce and he was deleted as an Elder and a pioneer a possiton he held all of my life.He never regained either possition even though he did the JW thing and supported this woman he divorced and whom had abused him and caused a huge fracture in my family with monthly payments to her.Now she is free to remarry because he died last weekend.
What I find really sad is that no matter what my Aunt or Grandpa said they coudn't defend themselves against a woman who made false acusations against them and they were forced to almost end their father daughter relationship based soley on the acusations from this woman.She suffered no reprcussions for making these false acusations.
Strange that they would take the accusation of just 1 woman, but want 2 witnesses to the act of pedophelia?
The jws disfellowship repentant people as a practice, not as an occassional mistake. Their brand of justice is rotten to the core.
Yeah strange isn't it.When adults are involved all it took was a crazy lady's acusation.But when little children are involved you need 2 people too see it.
I rather confess to God than to the elders. He forgives and can read the heart. The elders often make things worse by overdooing discipline.
I can be included in that number: I went to the elders and told them EVERYTHING. If I hadn't, my family would have dobbed me in, but I could have told them nothing too. I could have lied or bent the truth or softened it in so many ways. I could have told them all to get bent, it's none of their business. I didn't - I repented and confessed, and was disfellowshipped because I did the right thing. I can name ten people right now who did the same thing as I, and are still in the congregation, leavening it up. That must be one well-risen loaf, that org. So much leaven...
