Persuasion: Did we forget what we learned as JWs?

by larc 45 Replies latest jw friends

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  larc

  As JWs we learned a lot about persuasion and how to get people to accept our ideas. We had role plays on over coming objections. We were taught how to anticipate typical questions and respond to them. We were taught that we should answer in a mild manner when people were angry with us, as it would "heap coals of fire on their foreheads." We learned to go slowly and deal with one simple message at a time. We were taught to spend months with one person in study in order convince them of our truth.

  Now once we are out, and we meet newbies, do all the skills we learned go out the window??
  JWs come here. Some nebies are ridiculed. Some are called trolls. Some are dealt filthy rebukes. How does all that fit with what we were once skilled at???

  Your thoughts would be appreciated.
• 

  hillary_step

  Larc,

  Good points, well made. Sometimes our behavior here reminds me of that song by Stevie Katz...'for all that you have given...you have taken.

  HS.
• 

  jayhawk1

  As true as what you are saying, I never was good at being a JW. I hated going out in service and I never could convince someone I had the truth. Now that I actually have real truth, I still can't convince a JW that I now have the real truth. So I just stay out of those threads. I read them sometimes to try to learn the art of persuasion.

  "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
• 

  Simon

  A good reminder Larc. I know the things that convinced me most (ie. that I couldn't just shut off or dismiss) came from calm moderate balanced people and websites.

  The ones that seemed to just be a bit 'nasty' weren't very convincing to me and made it easy to label as hateful apostates without taking in any of the information they presented however right it was.

  Trouble is, for the people on the other side, they often have a log of anger that they want and need to express and being a real hot-head myself I know how hard it is to surpress this. I guess we should count to 10 before posting anything aggressive to others.
• 

  hillary_step

  Simon,

  Sensible advice.

  HS
• 

  RR

  I think too often, those who leave, 'throw the baby out with the bath water.'

  I tend to agre with SImon, quite often when I come a cross a site that is full of bitterness and hate, I just keep moving, despite the fact that it may have truth to it. I find the best way to deal with peole is to be kind and considerate. Too often, we become argumentative in getting our points across and we lose the potential listener.

  And too often, we still have that JW in us that is not willing to listen to reason, we sit and listen without listening just to get out point across. A truly open mind, sits, listens and digest the information.

  ____________________________
  I Still Believe ....
• 

  treeny

  Hello everyone, Even though I sucked at the service thing and public speaking because I was terribly shy I have noticed that one thing I have carried with me when I left was the defense mode. When I first met my boyfriend I found myself challenging his beliefs, and religious preference. We had alot in common and both loved to talk religion. It took me while to realise I was challenging him, and I was quite defensive, and would be ready with a counter attack. Funny cause I didn't believe as a jw anymore ,but the tecnique was still there. Now when we talk I try to erase the former beliefs, and battle mode so I can listen with an open mind. Take care,
  terry
• 

  Seeker

  As JWs, we weren't witnessing online, but in person. We act differently when communicating face-to-face than when we communicate online. It isn't unique to JW boards either. You could have an online forum about knitting and the same phenomenon will occur: sniping, arguing, insults, etc. Put those same people together in a restaurant for lunch and they will get along fine.

  We haven't forgotten what we learned as JWs, we are just in a new environment that inevitably leads to more fighting than in person. Something about the anonymity, and other sociological factors.
• 

  joelbear

  Online communication is still in it infancy. We are still all learning how to most effectively communicate in this new arena.

  But, in general, I agree with Larc.

  Everything is marketing and Marketing is everything.

  Joel
• 

  hillary_step

  Seeker,

  I enjoyed your comments and agree to a point. I do think however that it is possible to have a discussion board without the personal attacks and vitriol.

  I have noticed that many on this board, even on a long term basis, do not allow themselves to be dragged into the quite common scenario of 'sniping, arguing, insults, etc.' despite the temptation, recognising that it may offend the very people who come seeking enlightment.

  So perhaps it is possible to have a more civil board if we all do what Simon suggests and count to ten before posting.

  Incidentally, a few weeks ago, I caught a snippet of a post that you made regarding your reasons for leaving the JW's. It revolved around the fact that it was knowledge not environment that eventually made your choice for you. I would love to hear more about your experience in a thread of its own sometime.

  Kind regards - HS