I Miss My Parents ....

by compound complex 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Coco, I so understand.

    My father was a pistol....he was Manic Depressive through the years and no one new what was going on till he was diagnosed in his late 50's. As kids, we were always walking on eggs, but loved him/hated him just the same.

    He was a hard worker and provided like a king for our family, and my mom is sitting very pretty,... very unusual for a witness in retirement years.

    He left the truth after being an elder about 25 years ago, before the internet etc., yet had figured out that 607 was very wrong, 1914 way off, among other things. No one would talk to him. He was considered an apostate. How I wish I could talk to him now.... when I had the opportunity, but I was too staunch in supporting my mother, even though I felt otherwise.

    When I was older, he was so proud of me. He sent me wonderful birthday cards and I have the last one from him. I was just turning 40. He sent me 200.00 in cash and told me I had to spend it on myself, not the kids, not my husband.

    That same fall he died......Thankfully I was able to spend that late summer and fall taking care of him....

    Like you Coco, there are many days I miss him terribly.

    r.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, r., for sharing such a bittersweet account of life with Dad. I've known of other instances where a genuinely good and decent person developed mental problems. His/her life was turned upside down, as well as that of the family. Confusion, denial and incredible sadness.
    I'm glad you were able to see the inherent good in your father.

    And thanks, too, to all the other posters who willingly shared stories that were obviously painful to relate.

    Love,

    CoCo

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear CoCo, (((HUGS!!))) I can't even bare to think about it. My parents are and always have been my pillars in my life. Now that I am older, they are the best friends I have! Sincerely, Lady Liberty

  • PEC
    PEC

    (((((COCO))))) I missmy parenrts also.

    Philip

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Lady Liberty and PEC,

    Thank you for sharing your feelings. I can completely relate to parents being like pillars of support. Ironically, my children have been likewise for me when I went through bad times. It's a give-and-take dynamic among family members. I like the idea that now, at last, I'm back on my feet and can be supportive of others.

    It's pay back time - in the best possible way.

    Love,

    CoCo

  • BlackPearl
    BlackPearl

    Wow, I didn't realize there were so many in this strange boat. Parents that are alive, but parent/child relationships that are dead. It seems such a waste of time to be haggling over religion when death will come knocking in it's own due time. Then what? Will all of the bitterness have been worth it? I don't see any resolution to the problem, just venting. I too have parents that I would love to trust, but just can't (spiritually/religiously and monetarilly-they've cheated me out of a lot of money by being dishonest-but Dad sure is bucking for appointment as an Elder). Mom is too hard headed, Dad is too week to stand up to the truth and to her-he's a great "Yes Man" but has no.... Haven't seen either of them for a while. Lot's of childhood memories, now just seem to be worthless photographs in my head. My brother has told me never to call his house again, so that's another dead memory. Seems like I've got all these great memories of growing up, but they're worthless now. It's the road I chose though, can't complain, it wouldn't do any good. Have to look for the positives each day and there are plenty.

    Love you all, (even though I was...feeling kinda scarcastic and feisty in my posts today, sorry if I offended anyone) keep your chin up, keep smiling, tomorrow's a new day.

    BP

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Good new day, Friends:

    "Wow, I didn't realize there were
    so many in this strange boat."

    I awoke to these words, Black Pearl, as I made a bleary-eyed search this morning for "I Miss My Parents." Ditto. You're absolutely correct about its being such a waste of time haggling over religion. Death does come knocking soon enough. The inpenetrable barrier between family members that is created by death cannot be avoided. The inability - or unwillingness - to have a flawed but loving relationship between parent and child is found in all types of families; however, among JWs and their "wayward" offspring, it's especially without resolution. Rules of the religion.
    The pain coming through on this thread makes me realize that many, understandably, could not respond due to their own sad and bitter memories.
    Your comment about great memories of growing up being like worthless photographs now was particularly poignant. It's a great thing many of us are now able to move on and, as you said, look for the positives each day - there are plenty.
    The words you closed with are what I hope we'll all keep in mind today:

    "Love you all ... keep your chin up,
    keep smiling, tomorrow's a new day."

    All the above is an example of how we benefit from one another's wisdom borne of pain.

    Love,

    CoCo

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    CoCo my mom died in my arms and my dad died talking to me on the phone. I miss them so much! They missed out on the enjoyment of their grand and great grand children. Thanks for posting this, we share so much in common. Btw. My parents did not become jw's. They were smarter than me and did not becomes captives, yet, treated me with respect and let me choose my way of life without trying to influence me in matters of religion and worship. I wish they did, I would not of lost 33 years of my life slaving for the Watchtower.

    Blueblades

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, Blueblades, for your beautiful and welcomed reply. I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' deaths, yet you were with them both [though not literally with your dad] when they passed away.
    It's not often that I've heard an account like yours: non-JW, open-minded parents with a "captive" Witness child. Sadly, though not sadly at the time, most of my family followed my lead 40 years ago and joined up. Among a very few of the younger generation who REFUSED to be persuaded, I can now have a normal and non-proselytizing relationship. They resisted and remained open-minded, non-judgmental and forgiving.
    What a difference scale-removal from the eyes can make!

    Thanx again, Blueblades!

    CoCo

  • anewme
    anewme

    Yes I miss my parents too. Although our family was quite dysfunctional and mom drank too much and Dad yelled too much and never gave me any money, for the occasional loving embrace and sweet kiss I am terribly homesick.

    Most parents do the best they can. They must forgive us and we them. THANKYOU UNIVERSE FOR PARENTS!!!


    Anewme

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