by NotaNess 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Very good, Terry. I was going to say something similar, but you said it better than I could have.
Those are exactly the reasons I don't try to convince my elderly mother. For one thing, if she saw it as I do, I don't think she would want to live anymore. There is not a good enough reason for me to take the risk. I leave her alone and let her be happy with her religion.
How would you apply your thoughts to loyal-dub members of your own immediate family? (Or would you?) Maybe I'll start my own thread.
I probably should have worded my post more explicitly.
People have a right to reality.
Anything less than reality is a lie.
My post was meant to send up a signal about the methodology of refuting sincerely held belief and under-cutting the anchor to people's lives willy-nilly.
Certainly we should want people we love, especially, to see clearly what real choices are in life.
But, most so-called "apostates" begin and end with a violent act: REMOVING BELIEF and leaving only EMPTY nothing in its place.
"Whom shall we go away to, Lord? You have the sayings of everlasting life....."
HOW DO WE REPLACE WHAT IS REMOVED?
The answer requires profound thought, consideration and honesty.
1. If your life (since leaving the organization) is ugly, chaotic, unfulfilling and tainted with unhealthy behaviors---where do you get off preaching to people that THEIR life is a joke? Answer: You can't!
The best refutation to false religious dependency is to be a clear example of self-direction and happy fulfillment!
This is like a broke person telling a rich person how to invest or spend their money wisely.
2.People do things which are actually self-destructive because the behavior seems to work in at least one way. It gives them confidence, assurance,purpose,direction/hope at least part of the time even if the rest is illusory. To be WITHOUT confidence, assurance, purpose, direction/hope is not very enticing or appealing even if it causes the person to jettison the crazy belief or practice that comforted them.
3.Training wheels on your first bicycle allow you to gain your balance without falling and injuring yourself. After you can ride without the crutch you discard the training wheels. It is the same way with removing yourself from a religion and a mindset that control every aspect of life. A sense of BALANCE is needed. Mainly: self-activation. Without a sense of SELF nobody can do anything but follow orders.
4.Teaching people to see their own needs is tough when they think they are doing just "fine , thank you!
A cheerful, caring, self-directed example can be a wonderful start by demonstrating there is life to be lived that really WORKS beyond the clutches of mind-control.
Members of your own family KNOW YOU better than anybody else. They will detect even the slightest improvement in your spirit, attitude, confidence and self-assurance. By behaving around your family in such a way that they see an open contradiction to what they've been taught to EXPECT is profound proof they've been lied to.
Remember, JW's think that once you leave the Kingdom Hall you become a whore, a liar, a drinker/drug addict, engage in illicit sex, smoke, curse and hang out with riff-raff. By being BETTER than all that you put the lie to their expectations!
If you can't be an example; don't preach. Clear and simple.
There are enough hypocritical people in the world without becoming one of them!
That's my opinion, for what it is worth.
Willyloman, a friendly FYI....the orginal poster, notaness, is not a JW. And to my knowledge has never been one.
Given his mindset, couldn't we nominate him as an honorary member?
Thank you very much Terry. What you're saying makes perfect sense to me.
I have "baby-stepped" my way out of the truth mentally. Looking back I try to remember what some of my "steps" were.
I can remember listening to some of Dr. Wayne Dyer's work. He got me to realize that "meditation" wasn't all demon-infested. I've moved beyond a lot of his ideas, but they were a helpful stepping stone that didn't scare me off as a "slightly doubting" JW. There were many others along the way.
My problem right now is, whether or not I should continue on as a "flaky elder" and raise questions at the right times, or create marital/family stress by actively stepping aside and heading towards JW inactivity. My gut tells me not to do that just yet. Could just be cowardice. But by staying "in", I allow my wife and kids the freedom to look into "Pandora's Box" at their own pace without feeling like they've got to decide RIGHT NOW.
I'm rambling here, I know. As usual. I'll stop for now.
Thanks again Terry.
Open Mind
