Fading In? Am I nuts?

by jaydoe 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  jaydoe

  I am a baptized JW that faded some years back. In those days I deeply believed in the org and became disillusioned by some things happening in the local congregation. Following some research on the net I decided to fade out of watchtower existence because I did not want to keep mixing with false religion (or so I thought at the time). Over the years my views have moderated somewhat. Lately I have been catching up with childhood friends all JW's and it occurs to me that these friends and many others in the cong all have concerns that are similar to mine (that does not mean they are bad people). The other day I began thinking that there are a lot of very nice folks in the congregation and thinking it may be nice to visit the hall again. A couple years ago I would NEVER have considered this, but being away from the org my mind has opened up to many things. Even the JW beliefs that I despised at one time, I have come to realize have a place. Not everything in life is black and white and the JW's do have a set of beliefs that I don't think god would find objectionable. So I have thought about fading back in on my own terms. My newfound open mindedness would not allow me to be dominated by small minded elders or other people. I have not decided how involved I want to become, but I can't see anything wrong with a Sun meeting and fellowship with old friends. There are a couple of nosy elders still serving that will no doubt corner me the first change I get asking where have I been. I need some ideas about the best way to deal with them. Any other opinions/advice would also be good to hear. J
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  Missanna

  i think you should do whatever you feel is right for your happiness. i personally couldn't go back even if it were for friends because i couldn't take being judged at every meeting or being watched and gossiped about. plus, knowing the corruption and lies turns me completely off to the idea. but if you think you can go back with an open mind and not become brain washed by all of them i say do it if it makes you happy. just remember what you went through and don't be the typical witness.
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  joannadandy

  The "on my own terms" aspect might be tough. But if you want to explore it and feel like you might be more open to it this time, give it a shot. Frankly you'll just have to take it one day at a time, take things as they come up. Voice your concerns and questions when you see them. Maybe with the benefit of doing things the second time around it will be a better fit for you.

  Best of luck with whatever path you choose.
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  ex-nj-jw

  This is a all or nothing type of religion cult. You will not be allowed to accept just things you want or just attend a meeting once a week. Which I'm sure you already know.

  If being a Jdub makes you happy go for it. I will never step foot inside another KH (with the exception of my parents funeral of course) and then I'm sure I'd be miserable.

  Just my 2 pennies!

  nj
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  drew sagan

  So I have thought about fading back in on my own terms.

  But it's their religion, and everything is always on their terms. I say this because you specifically stated:

  here are a couple of nosy elders still serving that will no doubt corner me the first change I get asking where have I been.

  nosy Elders are par for the course.
  
  I think you have a number of important questions to ask yourself before you start getting involved with them again.
  
  - Do I believe the JWs are the one true religion on earth?
  - Am I willing to be submissive to the 'Faithful Slave' and it's arrangement, including the Elders?
  - Am I willing to support all doctrines and teachings of the Watchtower Society, putting all personal questions and doubts aside as unimportant?
  - Have I fully researched and examined the teachings and practices of the Watchtower to the point where I can say I know what I'm getting back into?
  
  Every baptized JW is expected to give its full support to everything the Watchtower puts forth. You may be welcome in the JWs for a period of time, but eventually you will be expected to 'step it up' like everybody else. JWs are not very welcoming to people who are on the fence.
  
  I think there are many things that you would find surprising about the JWs if you take the time to find out. Stick around on this board, we talk about all things and are very open. You may start to find a lot less truth in them than you think is possible.
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  willyloman

  There are a couple of nosy elders still serving that will no doubt corner me the first change I get asking where have I been. I need some ideas about the best way to deal with them.

  First of all, it's your life and you can do what you want to. Everyone's spiritual journey is different.

  But you asked for comment and advice. Here's my view. Until recently, I was an elder for more than 20 years. I can assure you that you will, by attending even one meeting, pop up on the radar of these "nosy" elders in a way much different than before. Once you begin to "associate" with the congregation in a visible way, you will be asked to submit to a grilling by the elders who will want to know about your lifestyle "since leaving the truth" in detail. They will view it as their job as shepherds to determine whether you pose any threat to the "sheep" or to the spiritual cleanliness of the congregation.

  Depending on what you tell them (or what there is to tell), they may decide to take some judicial action. And don't think their questions will be limited to queries about whether you have "sinned" in merely a physical way. They will want to know where your head is at, whether you believe the faithful and discreet slave is the governing body and whether you "want to be a Witness." If you give them the right answers, they will want to take control of your life - your time, your energy, your thinking. You will be assigned to be studied with, you will be urged to go in FS and attend all the meetings - studying the meeting material in advance. And they will keep a close eye on you. If you imagine that you can go back "on your own terms" as you put it, and suck up the crap and not have it effect you, I think you are misleading yourself. It would be excruciating for someone with a conscience to sit there and listen to spiritual crap spewing from the platform and being surrounded by hypocrisy and the corruption you already know is there.

  If all of that is appealing, and you have nothing else to do with your life, then go ahead and "fade back in." And good luck. Let us know how it works out for you.
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  GetBusyLiving

  You don't really have a problem with being a part of an organization that will disfellowship people from their family and life long friends? If so, enjoy.

  GBL
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  changeling

  I wish you all the best. Just remember: In the WT "your terms" are not honored. It's either their way or the highway, so watch your back.

  Good luck,

  changeling
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  Mum

  Each of us must choose for ourselves. If it works for you, that is what you should do. Yes, there are a lot of nice JW's. There are also as many nice, caring, kind, supportive, understanding non-JW's.

  Personally, I would never want to put another child through what my daughter had to endure being brought up as a JW. I hope I will never again accept a mindset that leads to my refusing to speak to good people who got on the wrong side of some petty men who are full of themselves and claim to speak for God. I hope that if I face a life-or-death medical decision, I will do what I think is right, not the dictates of an organization that does not care about me or mine. I hope that if I know of a child abuser or molestor, I will go to the authorities (render Caesar's things to Caesar) for the sake of justice and healing. I hope that wherever I choose to attend religious services, I will accept my doubts and failure to be able to believe some things because of my limitations as a human being with little time to learn and understand it all. I hope to focus on the here and now, living my life in the here and now, as well as I can and for the benefit of myself and others.

  With those thoughts in mind, I hope you will do what is best for you and yours.

  Regards,

  SandraC
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  AK - Jeff

  I must say; I cannot understand the motivation here.

  Would your more liberal mindset allow you to function within the confines of a religion that you at one time knew to be wrong? While not all is black and white - some things are. I list 5 reasons that would barr my re-entrance into the error that is the Watchtower.

  1. The religion misuses and misapplies scripture constantly to keep the masses under it's power. Not at the bottom of that list is the application of John's epistles and Paul's, to create a police state, disfellowshipping and shunning and marking others in intense judgment that scripture seems to reserve for Jesus.
  2. Apocaplyptic failure. Not once, but repeatedly. 1914, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975 to name a few of the better known dates. Does a person who wishes to be 'Christian', as you indicate, wish to involve himself in the mire of 'false prophets'? It is further the mark of cults to use Armageddon as a fear factor to control and direct it's followers. How does the Wts differ from Jim Jones and David Koresh in this regard, other than in scope and more genteel massaging of the doctrine?
  3. Political and religious hypocricy. Concealing of the Swaggart connection and the UN connection, and the Rand corporate tie-in. This bespeaks unbridled effort to control and manipulate masses of people. There is no honest transparency within this religion.
  4. Medical decision-making. They have banned organ transplants, then allowed them. Banned vaccinations, then allowed them. Banned blood transfusions, then slowly began to allow parts of blood and fractions [so called] of blood, then even the acceptance of Hemoglobin based transfusions by manipulation of terminology. They accept no responsiblility for all this - laying the matter of legal damage to the feet of the Jw's themselves, while making sure they are immune from prosecution.
  5. They have concealed and tacitly approved of pedophilia within the religion. Instead of honest re-evaluation of the by-laws that create this paradise for pedophiles, they have instead created a morrasse of legal attempts to keep themselves out of court. In the meantime, they have destroyed and continue to destroy lives within the organization by such concealment, and the outright excommunication of those who dare bring such lurid wickedness into the light of day.

  Of course - these are the tip of my 'iceburg' of reasoning. They may not even be on your radar screen. But once reassimilated within the religion, and they find thier way to your mental/spiritual pallet for consideration - will you be a silent follower in the masses? Or a dissident with a conscience who will then be quickly silenced as 'evil slave' or 'apostate' for speaking the truth?

  If you can bury your head in the sand for the sake of a few 'friends' - the same ones who will never again speak to you for using your conscience - then fine. Let me know where this innaugaration will be, and I shall attend the meeting with you, for I would like to see the beginning of such folly, as long as you agree to let me know the ending too. I can tell you the ending now.

  Jeff