Wow! This guy tricked you! I honestly don't know what to tell you... You're in a pickle and my heart goes out to you. Let us know how it goes.
changeling
My Husband is Lost to THEM
by Mrs. Witness 34 Replies latest watchtower bible
-
-
moshe
Welcome Mrs W. and good luck de-programming your husband.
-
Sarah Smiles
It sound like your husband had premarital sex then when he married you,he thought it would be okay to attend meetings again after all he was not commiting any sins. Sound like he is going to be marked. J.W. are not stupid!
I would wonder what else was he dishonest about? What is he not telling you.
Clean and sober so why not go back to his God! but the reality he is going back to an organization he knows nothing about!
The most mind boggling book J.W have is the one he is studying at the book study. Someone needs to point out the strange stuff in that book! Perhaps that would be YOU. LOL
I mean he has been out for 20 years! I was out longer and did not understand any of their past until after I was reinstated.
-
blondie
I understand there is a group of people that post and don't post on JWD that discuss your special issues. Perhaps they will invite you to join. I have known marriages of jw and non-jw to stay intact with love and respect for the other but it doesn't just happen. In time the WTS lack of love and lies become evident to the jw and they may leave...but make it easy for them to do so...let it be their decision. But hold your ground and don't let your boundaries be invaded.
Sometimes when one spouse becomes a jw, the flaws in the marriage will become more pronounced. Being honest with each other, even if the other person's opinion is not agreed with, is important in any relationship. jws are taught not to be completely truthful with others.
Blondie (child from a jw/non-jw marriage, married a non-jw when an inactive jw, non-jw husband became jw on his own, be are both out now)
-
sass_my_frass
Welcome, and commisserations...
I so agree with you about lying! I found out he was using WT literature with my daughter (after I forbade it) and about lost my mind. So I said, if you are REALLY a Christian, all you need is the bible when you witness and I backed an elder into the same corner with that argument. Neither one could tell me that they HAVE to use their "bible aids" because it would have exposed them as non-Christians. Hmm.
Nice one.
-
AK - Jeff
It's a tough nut to crack I would think, Mrs Witness.
Many good ideas are contained in this thread - I throw out a simple one; Lay a copy of Crisis of Conscience on your reading stand. Don't push it at him - don't even suggest that he read it.
If he asks about the book, tell him "I don't believe you should look at it as a Jw. It was written by a former GB member, and I know your religion does not want it members to read such things."
Just make it clear that is important property to you, and let him see you reading it from time to time.
He'll read it. And if he has an honest bone in his heart, it will do it's work.
Jeff
-
garybuss
I've beat this drum on every marriage thread I've posted on for years. I was on three sides of the issue. I still think the Witness religion issue in a marriage isn't the problem, it's one symptom. Witnessism is (like) an addiction, it's either an escape from the marriage, or it's an escape from life.
If Witnessism is an escape from the marriage, solution centered marriage counseling might help. If Witnessism is an escape from life (or a switched addiction), then addiction treatment and family therapy might help.
I've never seen one case in my life where Witnessism was the problem and treating Witnessism like it is the problem won't help the real problem. It might seem like it helps, but at best it's a diversion, sort of like treating the pain from a broken leg without treating the break.
The first step in treating the problem is identifying the problem. If I'm the problem, (or part of the problem) that makes me want to look everywhere but at myself.
I've never seen religion (or work, or addiction) be a problem with healthy people in a good marriage. -
Mrs. Witness
Words of Wisdom garybuss! We had a huge fight after one of our therapy sessions and I ended up screaming at him "your religion is just another addiction". I think that is the way to go! Fix his addiction problem and maybe he will see the light!
Thanks for the suggestion, Jeff. I've read both Crisis & Christian Freedom. They were two of my first forays into the JW world. I asked him to read it and tried to read to him from it and he threatened to burn it. I then said "well, there's enought WT literature in this house to start a bonfire...want to get the matches?" It's in my dresser drawer and he knows right where it is...he's too busy reading the WT crap to even think about reading anything else...he's trying to be Super Witness!
Again: Thanks everyone for your posts!
-
Rabbit
You've certainly had your hands full. My mother was raised a Witness, too, then ...after getting married to my Dad, a non-jw, she slowly faded away. As kids, we celebrated all the holidays, even tho' my father was not religious.
My mother was "guilt-ed" back into The Truth ™ by her relatives...this may be happening in your husbands case, too. See...the 'End of the World' was "right around the corner" in 1969, when she started going back to meetings. 1975 was when Armageddon was scheduled. The "guilt" the WTS used was 'Jehovah will spare your kids from being slaughtered, IF, at least one parent stays faithful'. My mom took the bait.
Your husband may be going thru the same thing...now that the WTS has rescheduled Armageddon...it's, "right around the corner" again...he doesn't want to be the 'cause' of his baby's death at the hand of his Almighty Loving Jehovah God.
BTW, going back to the Witnesses is dangerous...my mom died a few years ago, while following the WT Corporate rules, by refusing a blood transfusion. Serious stuff, this cult is...
Rabbit
-
Chad M
My hat is off to garybuss for a very wise and insightful observation.