by Gopher 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Heathen --
Check out 2 Kings 19:35. According to that verse Jehovah's angel killed 185,000 men while they slept. To quote "And when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses."
Dead corpses. What other kind of corpses are there?
Don't angels have like 3 laws that they can't violate?
Something like Law #1 - "Angels must never harm human beings..."
Oh wait! Shoot..........that's Robots.
Sorry,
Pope
Oh I can't wait neither can Jehovah and the angels. Jehovah is serving up popcorrn and soda at the big A. The angels are going to have a bash. They will be drinking disasta, weptsi and kila kola
Oh I can't wait neither can Jehovah and the angels. Jehovah is serving up popcorrn and soda at the big A. The angels are going to have a bash. They will be drinking disasta, weptsi and kila kola
It will be a full-length feature film for 99 million angels who'll have nothing better to do that day. They'll also be serving A&W (Awake & Watchtower) root beer.
It will take three angels to kill me. I'm going to be armed with my squirt gun.
How would the 36,350 angels get chosen?
Short straws? or maybe the big J asks for Volunteers??
Or do they have a special Angel "SS" Division, who are tasked with the "special duties"? So the real mean tough sons-of-bitches angels get to do the dirty work?
Pope
Or do they have a special Angel "SS" Division, who are tasked with the "special duties"? So the real mean tough sons-of-bitches angels get to do the dirty work?
They can't be any meaner then T. Jaracz. Just think when all the anointed JW's finally get their heavenly calling and get to rule over the angels, Jaracz will be able to boss angels around. He could even make heaven hellish.
Jaracz will be able to boss angels around. He could even make heaven hellish.
I say if the average Joe-Witness has to turn in his time each month, so should the angels.
Gee all this death talk is making me nervous, does god have a good memory? cause I past gas once during a public talk. I missed lunch one Sunday afternoon so I picked up a beef burrito at the 7-11 on the way to the hall, and you know what Mexican food is like, I blamed the whole thing on the kid that was sitting next to me, which I feel guilty about. Do you think I will be forgiven or is he going to send down one of those angel dudes to smite me?
BrainDead -
You sinned in so many ways. The whole thing could have been avoided with a more orderly, theocratic schedule. You should have had plenty of time to eat your ramen noodles, or hot dogs and beans, or whatever your pioneer lunch would have been. Then all gas issues could have passed before you left for the meeting.
And then you go to the meeting and make the child next to you appear as though he emitted a foul odor unto Jehovah. Oh the shame.
Either the angels are laughing or they've got you marked. It may all depend on whether you went and confessed to your elders.
