Reasoning with spouses using the 09/07 KM article

by sir82 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • sir82
    sir82

    I am still working on my wife, some progress is being made, but it is slow going.

    Here is how I plan to reason with her regarding the 9/07 KM article on "non-endorsed" methods of study. Feel free to use or adapt yourself, if you are in a similar situation.

    Suppose that one day a stranger calls the house when I am not at home. You answer the phone, and a voice on the other end of the line tells you that she knows me, and has evidence that I have been having an affair. She has photos, receipts, recordings, all kinds of stuff, and she will call back tomorrow with directions to where she will leave all this information so you can look at it.

    Naturally, you are upset about all this. When I return home, you tell me everything that the other woman told you.

    Which of these 2 possible response of mine would inspire more confidence in you:

    1) "Of course those accusations are false. I have not done any of the things I am accused of. I'd like to see that evidence myself. When the woman calls tomorrow, let's both go to get the so-called evidence, look it over together, and try to figure out where these accuastions come from."

    2) "Of course those accusations are false! How could you even think of doubting me! I forbid you to talk to that woman! Ignore anything she says! It's all lies, designed to weaken your trust in me! Give me that woman's phone number from the caller-ID - I will go to her house right now and destroy that so-called evidence she has! You are never to speak of this again - if you do, I will know you don't trust me and our marriage is over!"

    [allow for response] (Sorry, can't shake the KM presentation lingo!)

    Based on the KM article, apparently there are many persons (otherwise, why write the article for distribution to all JWs?) with serious doubts about what the organization teaches. Apparently, they are researching things and have discovered some things that don't add up.

    Now, which of those 2 hypothetical responses of mine is most like this Kingdom Ministry article?

    Do you see why an article such as this makes we wonder all the more, instead of reassuring me?

    What do you think? Suggestions, comments?

  • minimus
    minimus

    Excellent!

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    Your analogy is perfect and the reasoning leads to the correct conclusion, if you demand she ignore the accusation and that she not look at the evidence it is because you are guilty as charged. Your reaction alone almost makes the evidence unneccessary.

  • seek2find
    seek2find

    I Like it. seek2find

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    Perfect!!!!!!!

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    I might try this and then get back to you on how it works .. LOL (seriously!)

  • Mrs. Witness
    Mrs. Witness

    Fabulous analogy! I love it! I plan on using it!!

    Keep up the good work!!

    Mrs. Witness

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    I sent the first part in e-mail and she responded:

    #2

    Now I'm getting courage to sent the second part on how it applies.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    A few thoughts.

    It might help to wait until your spouse brings it up. This has helped me in the past. When hubby brings up news, I casually reply, "Oh yes, I knew that weeks ago." He's even tested me, "Do you know what the big news is now?" and I've accurately replied.

    I'm more and more a fan of "preach with permission." When he brings it up I ask "Do you really want to know what I think?" If he says yes, I let him have it. Sometimes he laughs it off. He fantasizes a showdown between me and a few choice elders. But I do notice I score more direct hits if he's told me he wanted to know.

    I really like your analogy. Also, how about medical procedures? If a doctor told you he would not treat you if you sought out a second opinion, would you trust him?

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    I think your analogy is perfect! Maybe others here on JWD can use it also.

    nj

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