ok so i have a bit of a dilemna, advise needed.

by free2think 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  free2think

  I was just on facebook, and somone sent me a pm saying they knew me from school. So anyway i sent a reply saying how are you? etc.

  She then sent me another message to say how she was doing and then finished it with 'am i remembering correctly you're are in the truth?'

  So i then send another message asking 'are you?' blah blah blah what ive been up to.........

  Reply back: she and hubby are studying, have two small children, hubby's family are all dubs.

  So i then ask how she is finding it, she says she is studying with her MIL.

  At which point i said i had to go out but wanted to chat to her later.

  So now my dilemna is what should i do. I really strongly feel like its a sign and i should anti witness, but then she knows where i live(im fading) and i have no idea how strong her feelings about it are.

  If i were to continue talking to her about it, what kind of questions should i ask her? Which websites should i direct her to that arent too full on? How would you approach the situ.
• 

  Gregor

  Great opportunity to warn her by simply explaining why you don't want her to mention your name to any JWs. She has a right to know what to expect if she joins up and later decides she wants to change her mind.
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  Mum

  Do you know what kinds of issues are important to her? Is she open-minded? If you know what would get her thinking about things instead of just going along with the program, that would help. Is there someone in your congregation who has done something you could not support? If so, mention that to start with, and tell her you were "stumbled" and don't have as much desire to attend meetings. Starting small is probably best.

  Whatever you tell her, it would be best to have facts to back it up. The child sex abuse settlement should be an eye opener, but must be approached delicately.

  Regards,

  SandraC
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  Zico

  hi free2think, how are you?
  
  This is a difficult one! If the roles were reversed, I'm sure you'd have loved someone to anti-witness to you before you were baptised! I think I'd do it, but I wouldn't criticise if you didn't.
  
  See what others say, but if you decide to anti-Witness, for a website, since she has 2 small kids, I think you should go for: http://www.watchtowerdocuments.com
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  Paralipomenon

  I would recommend caution. Unless you're willing to face a JC for apostasy, you never know how another person will react.
  
  It's a risk, so you'd need to determine how much you have to lose if kicked out and weigh if it's worth it in my opinion.
• 

  ninja

  howcultswork.com ........then batten down the hatches
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  free2think

  Wow thanks for all the replies, some really great advise here.

  Your right Para, i was thinking that too,its such a tricky situation, im not sure how much of a backlash to expect. One plus is she doesnt live in the same country as me, she's in your neck of the woods.

  Ninja, thanks for the website, i think i could definitely get away with giving her that one, lol.

  Gregor that was my thought, it is a great opportunity, i think that is a good way to go,that way i can feel her out more.

  Mum and zico yes i think the sexual abuse cases will really touch a nerve with her esp with her young children.

  Thanks again everyone, definitely lots of food for thought. I will see how she is first, how receptive before i take it any further.
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  Burger Time

  I think it could be a sign that she wants outside input from someone who might have some experiance. Like she was bringing it up just to see what you thought. Perhaps you could politefully explain that she should go in to with an open mind and that the dubs have been experiancing some bad problems latley. Just try to influence her to look in to outside non biast sources before she goes full fledge. After all thats what "we" encourage when studying. If your worried about getting caught just remember what Jesus said to be meek as doves and cautious as serpents. No reason to let something you feel is false to influence here, just like there is no need to cause yourself more trouble. Just try to come off unbiast as possible.
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  free2think

  Thanks for the advice burger time, yes i think thats what im gonna do.
• 

  purplesofa

  I would protect myself