ok so i have a bit of a dilemna, advise needed. (page 2)

Frequent_Fader_Miles

I wouldn't hit too hard... just ask her a couple trick questions to get her thinking.

I would be careful and protect yourself just like purps says, however considering this person has two young children I would discreetly ask if she had read any news reports about the child molestation settlements and is she concerned about protecting her children? Ask her to ask her mother in law. Give her an ap news release so she sees it's just something you saw in the news, not an alleged apostate web site. Might make her think. But you might be more timid than me. Do what makes you comfortable

nvrgnbk

Great opportunity to warn her by simply explaining why you don't want her to mention your name to any JWs. She has a right to know what to expect if she joins up and later decides she wants to change her mind.

mentalclearness

I think I would say that I've been having some doubts about the witnesses...some things I'm not in agreement with..then wait to see what kind of response you get...if she asks questions than inform her..and then tell her not to mention your name or discussion to anyone else..if she's your friend she'll respect the confidentiality thing.

OnTheWayOut

Since you are fading, approach her as a fader instead of one convinced that the WTS is wrong.

Tell her you have questions and don't find satisfaction at the Hall, so you are on a different
course right now, taking a break from meetings, whatever is true but without too much detail.
Tell her that you will talk more about it, but only if she's comfortable with talking and only if
it is kept confidential. Then don't expect her to keep it confidential- so keep it at the "DOUBT"
level.

This might be a great friend or confident allied force in the future. Try to use her that way.

concerbedbf

Golden oppurtunity, maybe you have to much to loose though.

Since she is already using the internet, why not direct her to "apostate" sites under the pretense of showing her how rediculous the claims against jw's are.

The use terrible logic and overall poor reasoning to defend the jw's. Meanwhile compare it to other religions with similar problems to show how silly your "their" argument is. The point is to get her to defend and investigate the "apostates".

Just and idea as Ive found reasoning and arguing to be a complete waste of time. If it works and she takes the bait, go from being a brave defender of truth to uber paranoid about elders who dont want you to even dare to discuss such matters.

erandir

Ask her how she is progressing in her study. Any questions? Doubts? Maybe you can gauge how far "in" she is, i.e., how much she's bought into the "truth" scam.

You can always tell her a few things that didn't make sense to you and how you got around it. Set up a fictional anecdote...you could say you heard from a friend (don't mention internet!!!) something about the UN/NGO thing and how it didn't make sense, but they showed you an actual letter in response from the UN. But you just have so much faith in the FDS and that they are imperfect humans and that you aren't serving men, blah blah blah...it doesn't matter if this really happened this way, but you can make it sound like you got around it...while still maintaining the appearance that you're a typical brainwashed dub. She'll see the discrepancy (sp) for herself, but you won't get in trouble, you know?

lesterd

You might say that you have been inactive because there are some nagging questions that you can get resolved by the org. See if she askes, let her open the door to the conversation, you may be able to read what her interest or intentions are.

KW13

if your fading and not wanting attention play the depression card.

Otherwise just be nice, chat and dont come across as some fruitcake. Be a good listener, dubs are suprised at listeners who are ex-jw's because they picture ranting nutters.

sweet pea

((((freetothink))))) Thinking of you sweetie.

Why don't you read Steve Hassans book on cults if you haven't already? He gives great advice on helping people out/stay away from cults along the lines of -

Ask her what her life was like pre-studying and how she imagines her life will be once she's a fully paid up member.

Try to get her to see that her life and her children's will be very restricted once she's made the commitment. Also, perhaps highlight what would happen if ever her kids got baptised and then were disfellowshipped - how would she cope? How does she feel about depriving the kids of birthdays and Christmas and putting them in a position of feeling totally alone and left out during all of their school years when you most want to feel part of the 'gang'. Go for the emotional, lifestyle stuff, not the doctrine.

Keep us posted.

Luv ya girl!

ok so i have a bit of a dilemna, advise needed.