Your favorite bits of JW folklore

by B_Deserter 44 Replies latest jw experiences

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  B_Deserter

  We all hear stories an experiences that happened to a "friend of a friend," and the witnesses are no exception. They even have their own urban legends. Here are my favorites, and please post yours as well.

  • 1. Watchtower Theologists According to one of the old guys I used to pioneer with, there is a super-scary-secret organization of apostates called "Watchtower Theology." Their MO is using the Watchtower publications to convince Witnesses that they actually do teach the Trinity, hellfire, etc. etc.
  • 2. The Demon at the Barbershop Don't remember the exact details but basically a barber is possessed by a demon, and when a Circuit Overseer walks in the Demon screams at him and tells him "Your God took our children in the flood, now we're going to take children." Obviously more "the DEMONS ARE AFTER TEH CHIIILDRUUUN!!" scare tactics.
  • 3. The Ouija Board That Wouldn't Burn Usually told by people that were once "in the world." They played with a Ouija Board/bought something at a garage sale and started getting demon attacks. So they burned it (and it took a LONG time to burn) and heard a scream in the fire
  • 4. The Night Visitor Many think this is a demon attack when it is actually sleep paralysis. They wake up and cannot move, and feel a large invisible weight on their chest.
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  Awakened07

  The one I remember best (although I don't remember the details, lol) is the one about two pioneer sisters (I think) who come to a house where a guy has just killed someone (I think) and he's about to kill them too, but then he stops. When later asked why he didn't kill them, he allegedly said: "There were two huge guys standing behind them" , in other words, he had seen two angels who guarded them.

  Another one is from Africa (I think), but the only thing I remember about it was that someone's neck had been snapped and it was thought to have been the work of demons. Or - perhaps it was that this person had mocked the Witness missionaries, and was killed in his sleep by angels. I don't really recall. It was bizarre at any rate.
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  ex-nj-jw

  . The Ouija Board That Wouldn't Burn Usually told by people that were once "in the world." They played with a Ouija Board/bought something at a garage sale and started getting demon attacks. So they burned it (and it took a LONG time to burn) and heard a scream in the fire

  I remember hearing this one when I was a kid!

  nj
• 

  greendawn

  The Holy angels that invisibly oversee the JW preaching work and guide them to the doors of the honest hearted ones. Whatever angels guide them are not Holy Angels, why would they want to bring people in a destructive cult?
  
  Then of course we have the demonised second hand objects that can cause demonic attacks if brought into the house, strange that only the JWs have this problem it is more like a persecution complex problem.
• 

  Arthur

  LOL at all of these.

  I'm sure all of you have heard of the one about the Smurf doll. A small JW child brings their Smurf doll with them to the Kingdom Hall. During a talk, the speaker keeps saying "Jehovah". The Smurf doll begins to pinch the child to get loose. It jumps up, and runs down the aisle and out of the Kingdom Hall. I was about five years old when I heard that, and it scared the crap out of me.
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  bigdreaux

  yeah, arthur, i've heard that one a few times. notice how whoever tells it was never actually there? it was always at some other cong. and no names are ever given.
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  Frequent_Fader_Miles

  The "sister" who "studied" with me, told me once of this experience. A man who used to dabble in the occult began to study with JWs. One of the spirits wanted him to stop his study, and promised him a new car filled with cash if he stopped his study. Surely enough when the man checked, the cash-filled car mysteriously appeared outside his door. Of course, this zealous, interested person refused to stop his study ... the car disappeared as mysteriously as it appeared.

  Then there's the one about a "brother" who bought a second-hand car. After being involved in several vehicular accidents he became suspicious about this car. Elders were called in. A picture of Saint Christopher was found in the car ... it refused to burn too! (of course)
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  Hortensia

  how about "crystal blue persuasion?" JW mythology at its best.
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  Awakened07

  I remember a local, true story (true in the sense that it happened; it's the why and how that's questionable): A pioneer sister was having some financial trouble (shocker!), and she was about a hundred dollars short. She prayed, and sure enough - not long thereafter (a day to a week), the exact amount she was short turned up in an envelope in her mailbox! It must have been God; couldn't possibly have been one of her friends who had discovered exactly what she needed and decided to help out, no strings attached.

  I can't help but feel God could have given her a little more - why the exact amount? Is He cheap?
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  Hellrider

  The heavy metal bands of the 80s: KISS was short for Kids In Satans Service...and W.A.S.P was of course "We Are Satans People". Then there was E.T. which was surely demonic.