for married people only

by teejay 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • think41self
    think41self

    Thanks Outlaw

    I think you're pretty nice yourself.

    think41self

    "Not believing is not the same as not knowing."

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Your wife is wrong in assuming that a spouse provides ones needs for companionship, conversation, etc. I have many friends male and female. My wife gets jealous, but that just keeps the marriage spicy. If it comes down to it, honestly, I'm too chicken to cheat on here, she's related to Loraina Bobbit (OUCH)!

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • JanH
    JanH

    Jealousy is completely "natural", but it is a form of greed.

    I could never live with a woman that didn't allow me to have female friends, and go out and have a good time with them. As a person, I am the kind of guy who gets many female friends who like to be with me and spend time with me, and I do like their company. I would never have a sexual relationship with such a friend, unless it developed into a real romantic relationship over time (which I can only have with one person at the time anyway). A pretty girl I met randomly on the town would surely be a greater "risk" in that sense.

    And I certainly allow the same leeway to my spouse. A relationship should not be a straightjacket. If such a basic trust is not part of it, what is the relationship worth in the first place?

    - Jan
    --
    "Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets

  • Moridin
    Moridin

    My best friend is female. We've been friends for a long time and my wife has no problem with me spending time with her or talking on the phone with her for as long as I want. She also has a best friend that is male and the same applies for her. I have no problems with it. Trust is a big key to a happy marriage.

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Jan,

    As a person, I am the kind of guy who gets many female friends who like to be with me and spend time with me, and I do like their company. I would never have a sexual relationship with such a friend, unless it developed into a real romantic relationship over time (which I can only have with one person at the time anyway). A pretty girl I met randomly on the town would surely be a greater "risk" in that sense.

    As there are only 12 women in Norway ( at least I only noticed 12 when I was last there ) and 11 of them are Kent's girlfriends I think your post is more imagination that reality!

    Just teasing -- HS

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    HS,

    That's why JanH had to find himself a non-Norweigan girlfriend!

    Prisca, also of the Teasing Class

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    I sometimes think that trust is almost more important than love in a marriage. If you don't have trust you have nothing.

    Although my husband is my best and most loving friend we both have other men and women friends. Whats the big deal here?

    minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I have lots of male friends, and talk to them on the phone and have lunch occasionally too. I can't say my husband loves the idea, but he gives me that freedom. They are, after all, just friends. If he had women friends, I would not be jealous because I know him well. It just happens that he doesn't have any women friends, other than the ones we both have, couples usually.

    Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
    "Those who know, don't say, and those who say, don't know."

  • Simon
    Simon

    I think it's possible to have friends / companions of the opposite sex.

    For me, I've never really been 'one of the lads' and find it much easier being friends with women than other men. Unless I do fancy them in which case I turn into a gibbering basket case.

    It is likely that your partner will get jealous and want to know why you want to be such good friends with 'her' etc...

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    In a rational world, which most of you seem to live in, I would agree.
    However, I'm with Outlaw on this one.
    In our community it is taken for granted that this kind of friendship leads to bed-hopping. It still isn't accepted, but it's widely acknowledged.
    It put's a serious restraint on the kind of healthy relationship here discussed.
    I have a few such friendships, but they have caused me grief from my wife because of how it's viewed.

    LT

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