Do you feel out of place, a "misfit", since leaving the org? (page 3)

IP_SEC

Do you feel out of place, a "misfit", since leaving the org?

Yes but it is because I am a freak and a dork. Nothing to do with the JWs.

brinjen

Yes but it is because I am a freak and a dork.

Well we knew that....

IP_SEC

Well we knew that....

It appears I am also captain obvious.

alt

Christ.... 3 edits... I am a dork.

LongHairGal

Yes, to a small degree I feel like a misfit but I am no less a misfit than somebody who was trapped in a bad marriage for many years. This is how I look at it.

I am fading. I have been making friends elsewhere and I am trying in some sense to make up for time wasted in this stupid cult-like religion. But, time wasted can never be gotten back but I am realistic about this. I have different priorities now.

LHG

FreedomFrog

Wow, I didn't realize so many was having the same feelings. Guess I'm not such a "misfit" after all, or maybe we all are the misfit of the misfits. lol

didn't we talk about this earlier in the week?

Are you sure that was me? Was I listening (apparently not...yikes)? LOL

Froggy, you might not feel like you fit in...but you certaintly appear to be fitting in. you are wonderful, smart and I love you...see isn't that better.

Appearing to fit in is better than nothing..heehee, at least I can fake "fitting" in. Love ya to hun! And yes, that is so much better!

Mum

What I'm hearing is that on some level you don't accept yourself. Do you look inward for affirmation or outward for approval? Once you accept yourself for who you are, you are likely to find that others more readily accept you as well.

Regards,

SandraC

FreedomFrog

What I'm hearing is that on some level you don't accept yourself. Do you look inward for affirmation or outward for approval? Once you accept yourself for who you are, you are likely to find that others more readily accept you as well.

It's not the "outward" approval because everyone that has been and is around me does eccept me. Do "I" accept myself...hmmm. I think I do, or at least no more or less than any other person (I think). It's just a feeling that I sometimes can't shake.

Hmmm, got to think about this a bit more. I guess the question is "why" I feel this sometimes...

AK - Jeff

One thing that has struck me about this issue lately is this; I never knew who I was! I was reared a Jw - which meant that I was a non-celebrator or holidays, I didn't drink, kept my virginity till marriage, didn't party, never used drugs, had no friends outside the KH, and didn't think for myself about religious doctrine or much of anything else, avoided education and career, and consulted a book publisher in Brooklyn for every step along the way for my first 48 years of life.

Now, in my early 50's, I have had to invent who I am, what I stand for, and learn to develop as a human being. Everything about life was dictated to me - black/white was all I understood. I am slowly finding myself these days. But it is not easy to do that for some. I am a loner by nature, but crave a few friends, who must be loyal. Loyalty is generally discovered early in relationships that begin in our teens or 20's. Hence the lifelong friend. I have none of those - since they all treat me as a leper now. Most of the people I have come to know and develop social relationships with already have a cadre of 'close friends' and are not looking to expand that horizon much. I am prob more of an acquaintance to them than a close friend.

I have determined that I will use most of my time in life in more solitary ways. It fits my personality. I have made some real friends through this discussion board, and some of them I talk to weekly, or email often. Some of them I actually spend time with, but not often. I am 'forcing' myself to take a stand on things that never mattered to me as Jw. Politics for one. Patriotism for another. Charity and club community for a third. Tonight I am being officially installed as a Kiwanis member. I have attended the meetings of the club for several months now. I am beginning to fit in there I think. I have a couple of golf partners I enjoy. I am thinking of buying a fishing boat too. And I enjoy the outdoors, especially working in my yard.

I feel more and more normal each passing year. But it is slow for me. I like the person I have become, though sometimes when I look in the mirror I wonder who I really am.

Time heals.

Jeff

Do you feel out of place, a "misfit", since leaving the org?

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