I sometimes do. I always did as a Hoho though. I was raised to not need anyone, only Jehoohoo. So now with friends that are open and fun, I sometimes have to force myself to relax, tell myself that I can let my guard down a little.
Do you feel out of place, a "misfit", since leaving the org?
by FreedomFrog 42 Replies latest jw friends
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BrentR
After I left was the first time I felt normal.
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R.F.
When I was in(technically, I still am, but not mentally), always felt that withing the organization was where I belonged.
I do feel out of place as being a Borg member now. The more I see how many of their members are, the more I realize how far away mentally from the group that I am.
I'm starting to feel like a misfit in a sense, not based on any actions on my part, but what others think of me. For instance, since i'm stopped my JW activity in recent months, my father seems to think that for some reason i'm becoming a pawn of Satan. I'm under constant scrutiny for every minute thing I do, from drinking alcoholic beverages, to reading novels, to how I spend leisure time away from home. Just because I no longer attend meetings he thinks i'm becoming more and more "worldly" with each passing day, when actually, I haven't really changed a bit other than my sharp decline in Borg activities. It sure doesn't feel good to have your entire character be based on how much effort you put into door to door magazine selling and sales meetings. It's not just my father that feels that way, because other Borg members have had the audacity to question me as to my lifestyle now, making the assumption themselves that i'm "losing my spirituality".
So again, yes I do feel out of place, and according to others, I feel as a misfit, but I haven't really changed, and i'm staying true to myself.
R.F.