by JH 24 Replies latest jw friends
Interesting article.
http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB118903209653018615-lMyQjAxMDE3ODA5NjAwMzYyWj.html
As a single man, I also feel that it's not well seen to even talk to a child you don't know..
Just look ahead and don't look at them.
Pretty sad world hey....
so true
I feel the same mate, i always worry if i smile at a kid they or someone else will get the wrong idea - sad world definitely.
i know what you mean. it really sucks. i was at a birthday party for a co-workers son. they had little kids playing on a slide. missanna was at work, and i was there alone. my subconscience told me not to go by the kids for fear of someone freaking out. i don't know why i felt like that. i'm glad to know i'm not the only one that is tortured with this. these asshole perverts make it hard on all of us. i think alot of it has to do with all the stuff i read about the molestations in the k.h. i don't even want to give the impression those thoughts are in my head. truly sad we have to be like that.
Today at the hospital, one of our friends brought her daughter who is either 5 or 6. Her mum was going to have to not see Megan and Baby because girl was too young to go in, so i took her for a walk around the hospital (she loved it actually) seeing all the different buildings, ambulances, cars and people - anyhow we were going through past this female doctor or nurse when little xxxxx announces she needed a wee - well the nurse looked at me and from what i could tell her eyes followed me, so i had to raise my voice practically to say i wouldnt be following her in and that i'd wait outside for her - the whole time i didnt hold her hand or anything either, for fear of someone getting the wrong idea...sad sad sad world isnt it
The girl was clearly not mine and was clearly 'almost new to me' to any stranger who saw us so they immediately get the wrong idea.
Also the other day near the hospital, i sat on some benches near the college to pass the time - girl and mum acted strangely and kept lookin at me as they went by, i had to not look at them back incase they got the wrong idea.
This was a quote from that article and I find it interesting:
In Skokie, Ill., Steve Frederick says the director of his son's day-care center called him in to reprimand him for "inappropriately touching the children." "I was shocked," he says. "Whatever did she mean?" She was referring to him reading stories with his son and other kids on his lap. A parent had panicked when her child mentioned sitting on a man's lap.
"Good parenting and good education demand that we let children take risks," says Mr. Frederick, a career coach. "We install playground equipment, putting them at risk of falls and broken bones. Why? We want them to challenge themselves and develop muscles and confidence.
"Likewise, while we don't want sexual predators to harm our kids, we do want our kids to develop healthy relationships with adults, both men and women. Instilling a fear of men is a profound disservice to everyone."
I can't help but wonder if the fear comes from the adults, kids are just having fun and listening to a story being read to them by a nice man.....besides women can be just as harmful as men to children.
I agree instilling a fear of men is a disservice to everyone.
To me as a woman there is nothing more awesome than watching a father tenderly caring for his children, it makes me melt every time. How sad to think men think twice before showing affection to their own children let alone helping a child in distress, sad commentary on today's society. I can't help but wonder what the next and the next generation of men will be like.
I never thought about it that way some of the things these men mentioned seem extreme to me, fearing that an accidental collision with a child or helping a child that is lost will lead to being suspected of abusing children. It sounds far fetched.
I understand this completely.
Ted Wallis, a doctor in Austin, Texas, recently came upon a lost child in tears in a mall. His first instinct was to help, but he feared people might consider him a predator. He walked away. "Being male," he explains, "I am guilty until proven innocent."
A couple of years ago I happened to enter the men's room at a local bookstore. As in most restrooms, there is about a foot-and-a-half between the bottom of the stall wall and the floor. I could see the legs and shoes of a little girl in a stall, and the shows, pants and legs of a man. It was plain that the little girl was facing the man who was on the toilet.
"HOLY COW!" -- my mind was swimming. What should I do? I thought about finding a security guard and left the restroom for a moment to go find one, but I returned because of the nagging fear that this guy would leave without being confronted. I returned to the restroom and waited quietly and patiently until the two left the stall. The little girl did not seems to be in great distress. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions. "Little girl, are you OK?" I asked, focusing my attention on her. "Is this man your daddy?" There was a moment of fear in her eyes - fear of ME! but she answered, "Uh-huh."
Fortunately her father understood the reason for my questioning and was kind enough to actually express his gratitude for my inquiry. I'm just glad that little girl didn't say, "Help! Save me!"
I read this article a couple of days ago and I can sympathize with some of the men quoted who go to extremes to avoid children. I have always loved kids and have been blessed with 5 of our own and eight G-kids. But in this day and age men must be careful not to put themselves in situations where they can possibly be misunderstood or be subject to accusations. This is sad in a way but that is the state of our society and it would be foolish to ignore it. One more reason why child molesters must be controlled better than in the past. Almost every horrific case involves someone who has been found guilty in the past, gotten out of the system and repeated their crimes.
As far as finding a small child who seems lost. I could not walk away from them but I would stay out in the open and wave or holler for someone to help.
When my wife is at work and I am home my daughter is not allowed to have any of her friends over. All it takes is one false accusation and I am SOL. Our news media does a great job of trying and convicting us in the court of public opinion. You never fully recover from a false accusation of molesting a child. I have a couple friends that are dirt broke from paying attorney fees and losing thier jobs from false accusations. They are forever changed for the worse.
The clinic I lease space at has kids there every day. I love kids and talking with them but I get that fear from them all the time. It tears me up that it has come to this.
It is going to take alot of effort and creativity to keep our kids from growing up without a truckload of issues to deal with.
