Not wanting to be near a child

by JH 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  bikerchic

  WTWizard I hope I read this wrong as it really has me questioning your sanity:

  But, other times a teenager (perhaps 14 or 15) will legitimately fall for someone much older for legitimate reasons. In these cases, it is no one's business but the two people involved as long as the adult is being totally honest and not initiating the use of force, threat of force, or fraud. Setting the adult up in these cases only creates problems where none needed to exist.

  A 14 or 15 year old falling for an older person, do you mean an adult over the age of 21? An adult who doesn't see the harm in forming a physical relationship with a minor is an adult with mental problems. I see a huge problem with this don't you?
• 

  Narkissos

  bikerchic,

  How many couples with a 7-year age difference have started as a, say, 15-22 relationship?

  What strikes you as insane was a very common pattern in the Western world 50 years ago, and still is in many countries.
• 

  Shawn10538

  Amen to this post. I am a teacher, and a single male, so I must be vigilant when it comes to being alone with a kid or showing any kind of affection whatsoever to them. I too, when I'm not at school do not even make eye contact with kids, and I definitely wouldn't hold hands with a kid, even if it was to bring them to thier parents if they strayed.
  however, I'm glad that the pendulum is swinging the other way now because look how many eons have we ignored abused children. Also, just when I think that this attck on males is unjustified, some asshole male teacher molests some kid setting us back several flights of stairs. I think of Chris Rock's famous ladder theory for African Americans. Just as soon as we make progress up the ladder, there is always some idiot creep that comes along and reinforces stereotypes. We need to stay vigilant against predators of all types. It's a sad price to pay, but when child molesting is a thing of the past, then we can all have normal relationships with children. Until then, this sick world will cause us all to have to walk on egg shells around kids.
• 

  Shawn10538

  I do want to comment on WTWizard's comment. Children of 14 or 15 are not developmentally ready to make an adult judgement on who to fall in love with. So, it is up to the adult in the situation to be the adult! As a teacher, I have kids get crushes on me all the time. There is an alarm that goes off each time this happens and I have to make it clear to them, that I am not their friend, I am their teacher. I pay particular attention to these kids and make sure they know the boundaries of our relationship. Especially these days when so many men are poor fathers, when a kid meets me and I am attentive and respectful towards them, this impresses them greatly and I begin to fulfill a childs natural need to have a male role model. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it puts extra responsibility on me as an educator to constantly remind them of the boundaries.
• 

  parakeet

  Men bear most of the brunt of not touching or being near children. But women are not immune either.
  
  A few times in the last decade, I've come across a lost child in a department store. Fortunately, in each case, I could hear the mother calling the child's name. Instead of taking the child by the hand and taking her/him back to the mother, as I would have done in more trusting times, I now loudly call back to the mother, "she/he's over here," and then wait until the mother comes over to claim the child. Under no circumstances would I ever touch a child without the parents' presence and permission.
  
  I don't know whether this new climate of not trusting anyone will ultimately cause more harm to children's psyches. If it reduces the occurrence of pedophilia, then maybe it's a prudent policy. I just don't know.