Submit your essay here! [Inspired by tula and changling's threads a bit]

by AK - Jeff 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Part of a 'rough draft' book I began some time back.

    He could see them from here, though he doubted any could, or would, bother to see him. That was as he wanted it, as it should be, at least for now. As he pulled the car to a halt, and stepped out, a rainy mist was tickling his face, and the occasional droplet would touch his eye and blur the vision for a moment. He cinched his collar tight to his throat to keep the Midwest cold at bay, and walked slowly toward the crowd.

    It was a rather large funeral he thought, from this distance it looked like over two-hundred. The line of cars behind the hearse was long and wound behind a hill, emerging again 300 yards down the trail, where the cars had become much smaller, the people sullen as they strode rapidly through the light rain. Just inside the wrought iron gates the final mourners were parking and making their way up the lane. Under the green tent, marked in discreet lettering ‘Chesterwood Chapel’ they were gathering. Open sobs were blowing on the wind toward him, and a middle aged woman, dressed sharply in black, seemed to be nearly convulsing in rhythm. Two men were aiding her movement inside the tent, and an overdressed man, orchestrating the movements like a band leader, was motioning them to a row of wooden chairs that faced a freshly perched casket. Flowers had been placed around the bier, and the whole matter seemed to be staged as well as any sales meeting he had seen. No one looked his way.

    Some of the mourners seemed to be unsure of where to stand, or maybe what was next. The astute eye of the director seemed to calm and move them into the proper place quickly. The efficiency of the whole thing was almost nauseating. As if cued, the only man in the crowd that was carrying a book, stepped to the front of the casket. He was too far away to hear the exact words, but it looked as though he had taken a handful of dirt and was saying something as he slowly let it filter to the ground at his feet.

    The lurker took a post perhaps eighty yards up the hill, found a sturdy white oak, and leaned. He was not fully shielded by the tree, but in the mist and fog, he had little chance of being seen. The minister sounded as dreary as the weather, and apart from the occasional ‘amen’ uttered in the crowd, all others were silent, except on the occasion of a single outburst coming from the widow. The man of God halted, stepped toward her, then recomposed himself and dropped back into position. He stepped toward the casket and lifted a rose from it, handed it to the woman. Then returned to his place to continue.

    The watcher slipped around the back of the tree and reached to his coat pocket. He found the desire of his search and lit one. As the smoke curled away from his lips, a faint expression took hold on his face. A tear, or maybe just a drop of rain, found it’s way down his cheek, and dripped to his already drenched coat. He slid slowly down the trunk to a squat, and remained there till he had extracted all the flavor from his cigarette, then wistfully reached back and crushed it’s glow to the oak. Stepping back around the tree, he could see the crowd was stirring. The Reverend was bent down and speaking to the family now.

    One lane over he could see a truck and inside it looked like two men in work clothes. They were watching the crowd. The back of the truck held what looked like landscaping equipment, and behind it, a trailer with a bobcat. The vultures had gathered. Some of the crowd was filtering back toward their cars now, and the director of affairs was moving toward the hearse. There was a lot of hugging and embrace going on in the crowd, and several women emerged from the tent holding a single red rose. The Director re-emerged and seemed to be offering directions to the group that was now dispersing quickly. He embraced the one who had nearly fallen in pain 20 minutes ago, but was smiling now. He handed her something, she looked at it then slipped the paper into her pocket, and began the walk to the limousine behind the funeral coach. She stopped and looked one last time toward the final resting place of her husband, and seemed to blow a kiss toward the tent. Then she walked to the car.

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    When I was 16 years old, in 1990, I won a poetry contest, lets consider this an essay too, I was so proud, and my JW elder dad, and pioneer mother thought I had mental problems because of it...yet my mom read it recently and apologogized for never encouraging me to keep up with writing...its ok Mom!

    "The Expression"

    Allay the harshness in the expression

    There is extremity in this place, please move

    A jovial practice is what is favorable, yet the

    practice is distorted and twisted

    We yell, we yell, we yell

    But not even one exclusive person hears us

    What a shame a voice says

    But everyone is bound by their own injury

    Shall we disunite and go our distant ways?

    No! Treasure your life and your race before you!

    Grope for endurance, reach for vitality

    And you will have the right expression

    I have posted this before, but I do not mind posting again...this passage brings back alot of memories for when I wrote obsessively to escape the JW world.

    Nikki

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    "It was always the same", thought Amy. "So why should it be any different this time?"

    From her earliest recollections Amy had experienced losing people that she loved. At the age of five her father had been tragically killed in a road accident and Amy, not able to understand what "death" meant, had waited for daddy to come home and stop her mummy from crying.

    "Jesus has taken your daddy to be with him", was the explanation given to Amy.

    "Why does Jesus want my daddy?" Amy had asked with her childlike innocence. There was never an answer though and Amy would often lie in bed at night wondering why Jesus had taken her daddy to be with him, when she wanted her daddy here with her. As Amy tried to find an the answer, subconsciously she began to believe that she must of been to blame. "I must be bad if Jesus wanted to take my daddy away from me", was the explanation Amy gave to herself.

    Life had been difficult after Amy's father died because her mother had struggled to earn enough money to live on, often going without food so that Amy had enough to eat.

    As Amy's thoughts drifted back into the past, memories came flooding back to the day when her mother became ill. "It seems just like yesterday, can it really be all those years ago?" Amy spoke with a sigh. It was such a shock to Amy because within two days her mother was dead.

    The next few years were a haze as Amy tried to get on with life, pushing all the grief deep down inside herself. Many times the pain would re-surface but Amy always pushed it away again.

    Amy thought about her failed marriage. "I don't blame him, we both had so many problems in different ways". It had been a marriage of distrust and arguments most of the time and then one day he said he had found someone else and went.

    Amy hadn't been looking for another relationship, Bob just seemed to arrive. Amy smiled as she thought of Bob with his kind, gentle manner and infectious grin. "I can really talk to Bob, tell him about how I feel and the fears that I have about losing everyone that I love", Amy said to herself ,startled by the sudden realisation that this was true. Bob had told her that he didn't intend going anywhere, that she was stuck with him!

    "I've got a feeling that things will be alright from now on", Amy said as she heard the bell and went to open the front door to let Bob in......

    Maddie ( I am not used to doing this so please don't be too hard on me ! )

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    In school I did a short essay on the thoughts of a man as he jumps from a building. He contemplates his life, his pain and as he falls it all starts to come into perspective.
    His reason why life is worth living hits him at the same time as he hits the ground and the story ended mid sentence.

    I thought it was great, my English teacher sent me to counseling and put me on suicide watch.

    I wish I kept it now.

  • changeling
    changeling

    Nowman: I can see why you won the contest! Keep writing!

    Jeff: I liked it! Very atmospheric. My guess is the "lurker" is either the killer or this is a take on Tom Sawyer attending his own funeral. Let us now when you finish and publish it so we can find out what happens.

    Maddie: Flesh out your statements with descriptions. Take your time and make the reader want more. Keep it up.

    changeling

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Lesson From Big Sister

    My big sister taught me many important things. How to tie my shoes, comb my hair, and stand up straight. When I started school, she was there to calm and soothe my fears. We grew up in a primitive cabin in the backwoods of Wilcox County Alabama, cut off from the outside - geographically and culturally. We had only each other and our imagination for amusement.

    We all learned to read at an early age thanks to a farsighted dad who would not settle for anything less. We wrote and produced plays, built treehouses, went to Sunday School, smoked cigarettes, and did all those deliciously naughty things good little girls aren't supposed to do. One thing, however, we did not do was fool around with boys. That was a strict and unconditional no-no.

    Our knowledge of sexual reproduction came from observing the farm animals. No one EVER discussed sexual matters with us. NO ONE. If a girl happened to end up in "the family way," she was hustled out of sight until after the baby was born. Needless to say, that raised a lot of questions in my young mind. Where did the baby come from? Why was everybody so secretive and hush-hush about such a sweet little bundle?

    Most of the girls toed the line and kept themselves out of trouble, but human nature being what it is, someone was bound to slip up. I remember it was early 1963. I was nine years of age. One of the older girls whom we dearly loved, suddenly stopped showing up at church, picnics, fishing trips, etc. Where was she? I asked my mother about her and she became uncharacteristically evasive.

    "What's wrong with ____________?" I pressed her for an answer.

    "____________ is in the 'family way.'" she finally conceded grudgingly.

    "You mean she's going to have a BABY!!!???"

    My mother disapprovingly let me know in no uncertain terms that I was to shut my mouth and not bring the subject up again.

    So what was I to do? I knew better than to badger my mother, so I turned to Big Sister who smugly told me that she knew all along what was going on. How did she know? How had I missed this? Big Sister just gave me a knowing, condescending smile and told me to go outside and play. I had an unsettling feeling that something BIG that I was not privy to was happening right under my nose. I didn't like that feeling at all.

    One hot, hot July day 1963, it came time for ________________ to deliver her baby. As so often happens in small communities, everyone was made aware of the situation. Someone ran to get the midwife, others began to collect the little ones to keep them out of sight and hearing. This scene had been played out many times before, but this was the first time I was aware of its significance.

    The next day, one of the older girls was was talking about how loudly ______________ had screamed while giving birth. I was mystified. I wanted to ask why she was screaming, but I knew they would only laugh and poke fun at me, so I waited until I had Big Sister all to myself. Big Sister looked at me in consternation.

    "She screamed because it hurt, you ninny."

    "Why did it hurt - because she had to stretch her mouth so wide?" I so innocently asked.

    This time it was Big Sister's turn to poke fun. She laughed and laughed. I became angrier and angrier. What was so blamed funny? After seeing how upset I was becoming, Big Sister softened. She sat me down and explained just HOW babies are born into this world. I couldn't believe it! Are you sure? Yep. Are you absolutely sure? Yep. I pondered over that thing for a day or two. It all began to make sense. My goodness!!! No wonder everybody was so secretive.

    Many years have passed since that hot summer of 1963. I look back on the lesson that I learned from my sister and think about how far we have come. Whenever we are together and begin reminiscing, that subject invariably comes up. We smile with the sure knowledge and confidence that, come what may, our shared memories are the glue that binds us together as sisters and friends.

    Sylvia

  • changeling
    changeling

    Awwww, Sylvia, that was so sweet! Tell us more...

    changeling

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    I give everybody a rating. There are some excellent writers here on JWD.

    Changeling, you should try screenwriting,

    Sylvia

  • Bobbi
    Bobbi

    New Love

    Many years ago there was a young woman who was also a new mother. After a long painful delivery she hadn't had a chance to really look at her new son. So many people kept coming to visit and admire the little one that she hardly had a chance to hold let alone count fingers and toes. Then it was time to sleep and the nurses wrapped her baby up and put him across the room in a bassinet.

    At first the young mother was grateful for the rest. She could finally stop smiling and saying it was all worth it. At that moment nothing was worth that kind of pain. She wondered if all new mom's had to fake it like she was doing. With this unhappy thought she drifted off to sleep.

    A few hours later, the young woman awoke with a start. After a few moments of confusion she remembered where she was. Then she heard the sound again. It was her son making the smallest sound she had ever heard. She carefully eased herself off the bed and shuffled over to him. He was so beautiful! She knew she wouldn't be able to get herself back into bed if she tried to carry him so she carefully tugged the bassinet across the room trying not to make too much noise or bump her son too much.

    After getting back into her bed she carefully lifted him onto her lap. He was so tiny and he looked familiar somehow. She unwrapped him and studied every inch of him. She kissed the top of his head where the suction had bruised him. She undid his diaper to double check that yes he was a boy. When he protested the cool air on him she tucked him up close to her and just stared at him.

    As she nursed her new son the young woman realized that yes it was worth all the pain.

  • snowbird
    snowbird
    As she nursed her new son the young woman realized that yes it was worth all the pain.

    There is no other feeling like it!!! Amen and amen. Keep it coming - all those beautiful words.

    Sylvia

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