My thoughts

Akira

Hi!

First, let me introduce myself. I am a Spanish speaking woman, 2nd generation JW, who lives outside the United States. So, please forgive if I make mistakes in my writing.

This year has been hard for me. My husband and I began to read the Bible and discovered a lot of inconsistencies with our JW beliefs. I was in shock. Then, with my hands trembling I bought Crisis of Conscience, later Apocalypse Delayed and finally Captives of a Concept. They were really eye openers. My mother, father, brother, sisters and brothers in law and mother and father in law are witnesses too. I have been in the same congregation since I was 7 years old (in fact, all my family attends the same congregation). The people in my congregation are nice. I had a good upbringing. I don’t have any traumas about my past. I went to college. I have a good marriage. But I feel a hypocrite going to the meetings, going to the service. Sometimes I got angry. We don’t have anyone to talk about our doubts. At first, I tried to speak with my mom, but she got scared and I stopped. I am really scared because all my live I thought that this was the true religion. I was so sure! I believed everything that my parents taught me. I was baptized at 15. Now I want to know the real truth (is there one?). I don’t want to be bitter; I would like to know how to serve God in the way that He wants.

Twitch

Welcome Akira,

It's natural to be scared when confronted with such a life altering awakening, as it were. But here, you are among people who know exactly what you feel, who care and who can help you in your journey to your truth, whatever it may be.

Peace

oompa

Welcome Akria! You can feel free to express doubts here, and perhaps get answers. I am like you in many ways. I was raised to believe JW have the Truth, but also began to have many doubts. I have no idea what God would want with human worship or what it really is. You are very lucky that your husband feels like you do. You may be able to just get by with each other and not scare off too many around you but it is hard.

best wishes...oompa

nvrgnbk

Your post was eloquent, Akira.

For English not being your first language, you've expressed yourself exceptionally well.

Many here will relate to what you are experiencing.

Some of us have lost faith in God.

Some are quite decided about His non-existence.

Some are willing to believe, wanting to even, but don't for lack of evidence.

Some have embraced Christianity in its diverse forms.

Some think spirituality of any brand to be a farce and a waste of time.

Some are spiritual but not religious.

And the list goes on...

But most of us know what it is to realize, some in an instant, some over a period of years or decades, that we were duped. We believed in and invested in a lie.

Good luck to you and yours, Akira.

May you find peace.

jambon1

Welcome. You don't have to be bitter. Just keep examining with an good honest mind and be true to yourself. It will get easier. Keep asking questions. It's what the WT asks us to do regarding false religion.

ferret

Welcome Akira...stick around you will learn a lot.

JK666

Akira,

Thank you for sharing, and welcome to JWD!

JK

flipper

AKIRA- Mr. & Mrs. Flipper here. Welcome to this board ! I too, was raised a Jehovah's Witness from birth, got out 4 years ago at 44 years of age. I know how you feel. It is very scary at first when you feel you have been misled by something you once trusted in , then the bottom drops out , and then you wonder where to turn. Please know that many here have gone through similar experiences. You are among people here who care about you unconditionally. Myself, you and others did not get that in the witness organization. They put out conditions for you to recieve their care. We look forward to your future posts and welcome your thoughts!

I have found comfort personally in this JWD site by reading other posters life experiences and what things they went through getting out of the organization. I hope you can recieve similar comfort by reading these too ! Welcome to the board ! Always feel free to post your thoughts. Peace to you, Mr. Flipper

RollerDave

Welcome Akira!

No rush to find new beliefs, take your time. It will all be ok.

I think there is a truth, but maybe not an organization; but your mileage may vary.

In any case, if you seek God with an open heart and without WTS preconceptions, you WILL find Him.

God Bless and Good Luck on your search, you've found a good place here.

RD

blueviceroy

Buenbenidos akira, estoy aprenduendo espaniol para dos anos . Using an unfamiliar language is very difficult you do quite well. As for looking to serve God be kind and seek YOUR truth< Dont worry so much about finding a new faith > I am quite certain you are the kind of person who really is serving God if there is one to serve. Consider your enlightenment a gift and celebrate your freedom .As obi wan kenobi said "you have taken your first step to a greater reality" Glad to see you here

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