How do you know... (page 3)

darth frosty

If I may suggest this is a great book about relationships. The website offer's an extensive preview of the book.The book is titled 'I'm a man thats my job.'

http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=875062

Sassy

i don't know if she's repulsed by me. i don't know if im unattractive to her all of a sudden. maybe i fart in my sleep or snore really loudly. i dont know. it doesnt matter.

I know when I am wanting to make a break from a guy.. suddenly everything he does is amplified.. what might never have bothered me when I was happy with him.. suddenly irritates the hell out of me.. I think its a instinctive wall we put up to make us strong and determined to carry out the end...

I'm sorry it didn't work for you both. I know you really cared about her.

We can change those things that are in our control.. those that we cannot.. well.. then we have to accept and move on..

I don't know.. I broke up with my guy beginning of August.. and I gave him 30 days to move out.. I had NO intention of us getting back together.. then his 30 days were up and he was about to lose his job.. he had no where to go.. so I gave him more time.. and more time has given me time to realize that maybe I can forgive him and take him back, which today is where I am leaning... if you had asked me in August if we were over for good, I would have put money on it.. now he on the other hand was determined that somehow we would work it out.. in the end it looks like he was the one who was right...

so.. if its over. is it? probably.. BUT..

AWAKE&WATCHING

((((CHL))))

Sounds like you are starting to heal already. Take care of yourself and figure out what makes you happy.

None of us has to tolerate being treated badly, we choose to. Choose differently in the future.

I'm glad to hear you sounding more positive. Time really does heal all wounds. Maybe not completely but enough to not be consumed.

coolhandluke

here is the thing: i don't think i want her back. she's been disrespectful to me. i deserve better than that. so no matter what she said or did, i'm done. and i'm okay with that. at the beginning i wanted to work it out. i don't anymore. it made me realize that i don't deserve the leftovers of energy. i don't deserve the scraps. i don't deserve the remains of the day. i've said it before - all i want in a relationship is to be loved, to be touched, to be appreciated, to be stimulated. moreover, that is what i want to give. but it has to be equal. i can't always be 80 and you be 20. i can't.

darth frosty: i'm gonna go find that book right now. thanks for the suggestion.

Sassy

then it sounds like things are for the best.. even if they are painful.. there is a reason for things

coolhandluke

i hope there is a reason for things sassy. i really do. then again maybe some people are just not built for living life in reality, dealing with things as they come and planning in spite of difficulties. this is my opportunity to prove that the lessons i've learned have not been for nothing, that i am strong, that i matter, that i'm attractive, that i'm intelligent and that i am worth more than i thought i was. there it is.

Bumble Bee

this is my opportunity to prove that the lessons i've learned have not been for nothing, that i am strong, that i matter, that i'm attractive, that i'm intelligent and that i am worth more than i thought i was. there it is.

Good positive attitude to have CHL!

BB

Crumpet

i've said it before - all i want in a relationship is to be loved, to be touched, to be appreciated, to be stimulated. moreover, that is what i want to give. but it has to be equal. i can't always be 80 and you be 20. i can't.

True. But remember we are all human and therefore incapable of our share of equality at times. Sometimes one person is better at loving, touching, appreciating and stimulating than the other and depending on the time and circumstances. Sometimes one person has to hold back and just allow the other the freedom to explore and be themselves. Its all in the nature of love. Our waves dont always break with equal force and sometimes our waves don't even break on the same shore. Sometimes accept a little 70 30 or 40 60 or even 90 10 and treasure the 50 50 moments, because they are rare in my experience.

Dansk

(((((((((((Crumpet))))))))))),

Great to have you back!

Love,

Ian 'Ol' blue eyes to you!

coolhandluke

i did some thinking. i realize where it fell apart. her life the past few years has been a cycle of bad. drugs, cheating, unexpected pregnancy and a lot of trust issues. i can't, nor would i try to fix these things. but it leaked into our relationship. i think she was afraid of losing me, of trusting me. so she pulled the trigger before i did. this is depressing to say the least. i just need to move to the left and let her sort out her own problems. i have to work on me and work on the reasons why i allow for relationships with this type of underlying damage. it just isn't healthy. i think that she loved the idea of me but could not handle the reality. she's got nothing left to give. it makes me sad for her but i have to move on.

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