Update: Last Nights Meeting (page 4)

JWdaughter

Hi,I am sorry to hear of your wife's abandonment. Hopefully she will calm down and remember that scripturally and even within the org. she has no basis to leave you. OTOH, if she is that wacked out about the religion generally, it may be a horrible trial to maintain a marriage with her. Some manage successfully-and you will hear from them. There are others-not so much.

I am glad you are sticking with your sons. You are a good dad and you followed your conscience-that took courage-especially with your background and conditioning. I admire you a great deal from what I know.

I am excited for you that you can be honest with everyone and start your life fresh. That is actually and enviable position to be in.

Blessings,Shelly

FadingELD

Everyone,

I wish I could could personally thank everyone, it has been a very stressful couple of days in my life. Yet the relief that has come over me today possibly makes this the second best day of my life, my first was when my two sons were born. My wife called about an hour ago and although she did not say she would be staying with us tonight , she did say she would like to come over and talk to me about what lead to my actions, she also wants to visit with the kids. I told her I would not be influencing the kids in any direction one way or the other, however both of them have come to me seperately today(they must have discussed it first) and said FINALLY!!! dad and gave me a big hug. The next question from them was does this mean we can play organized sports now. I had know clue what I was putting my kids through, can you imagine the emotions they must of felt the 99% of the time I told them no they could not do this or that, when it was what evrey kid in thier school was doing. My dad also called and preceded to tell me both him and mom were crushed and would like to come over and talk tonight, I told him that my wife was coming back home to talk and he would have to wait. he then said maybe the entire family should get together tonight and have a family discussion before it was to late. I said dad this is my family and this is my life and he would not be influencing the situation one way or the other, and hoped he would respect my decisicion on this matter. Of course he has not and since has left five more voicemails which I have not responded to. My father-in-law has also called today and basically told me I have destroyed my wifes life and my sons life. I told him that I believe I have finally giving them a chance at a real life, you can fill in the blanks on how the conversation went from there. Thanks Again

OnTheWayOut

Fantastic update. You already know that you can stay true to yourself and do what's best for
the boys. Just stay calm throughout the discussions, so they can't say you are an evil
person under Satan's influence. Be reasonable yet firm. No matter the outcome, you will
be glad you did the right thing.

I appreciate how you kept your Dad out of the immediate family discussion.

sweetstuff

(((Hugs))) Fading, your courage is inspiring. I hope the talk with your wife goes well and she can be reasoned with. I would focus on the love and committment of marriage, reassure her that although you do not want to be a JW anymore, you do value your marriage to her and hope she does as well. Your boys must be over the moon, they can finally be who they are, knowing a parent who loves them unconditionally is there, always.

golf2

Your doing the right thing by giving her 'space.' Does the GB do that for independent thinkers? Hmmmm. I wish you all the best.

Golf

unbeliever

You are in a very good legal position where your twins are concerned. I assume they are around 16 or so. The court will listen to their wishes should it come to that,

I know it was wrong for your wife to turn you into the elders but remember in her mind she thinks she is saving your life. I was glad to read that you will try and make the marriage work. If you are willing to accept her staying a JW then she needs to accept you and your boys being XJW's. I know it probably won't happen but at least you will know that you tried to make the marriage work.

llbh

Thanks for update, you are in for busy and searching time, I hope you get what you wish for.

I read coc by Ray Franz like many others here. I was given it by a very good friend (before I began posting here) and did not for one moment view as apostate just a very thoughtful account of what hapenned to him and those around him.

You are right to keep the rest of the family out initially. I imagine it is difficult enough .

Your sons soungd great and understandind like most children in and the wtbs.

Hope all goes well. Keep us posted because we care

regards llbh

besty

((((((FadingELD)))))) in a manly way of course :-)

What else can I add to what has already been said other than my own heartfelt sympathies for you and all your family in yet_another_family_breakdown engineered by hateful twisting of Scripture by a mind control cult?

Likewise my wife (SweetPea) and I were both brought up as JW's and likewise I was the one doing the independent thinking. Difference being I managed to make sure she was on board before starting an unsuccessful fade together. (Both DF'd very recently for apostasy :-)) Likewise we have 2 sons I think the world of and are also some of the youngest ex-JW's I know at 30 months and 8 months respectively.

In the short to medium term your life as you know it is over. Friends and family JW's are there for you conditionally on you believing as they do. Thats incredibly hurtful for you to internalize and deal with. Longer term perhaps there may be some reconciliation with your JW family, excluding Mrs UsedToBeAnEldersWife (UTBAEW). Her situation will need to be resolved between you without delay.

What you haven't revealed in your posts so far is your perception of how UTBAEW feels about you. You say you love her and had a great relationship until the boys got DF'd. Also that you got married and had kids very quickly thereafter. I know you grew up together but not having a long relationship as a married couple before the stresses and strains of kids can be a problem for some couples after the children grow up.

Her underlying feelings for you now the religious status quo has been irretriveably altered will be the key factor IMHO.

Besty regards

Paul

PS - Order In Search Of Christian Freedom today.

changeling

Wow! Gutsy move! Nothing like yankin of that old band aid! I really admire you.

I think that you are in the eye of the storm right now and that you are experiencing the worst. It's all uphill from here. Your wife will come back, since she's a "good witness". Things will settle down and life will be good.

All the best,

changeling

38 Years

I admire that you took a stand. By the time you finish reading CoC, you'll be even happier that you walked out on the Elders. Your sons will feel secure that you are supporting them. You are the only support they have until your wife decides to lighten-up on the situation. She may come around if she gets a chance to think for herself and not let others influence her. Please keep us updated on how things are going. You'll get a lot of support here.

Update: Last Nights Meeting

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