I'm stunned. What a shocking couple of days for you and your family. I don't know what to say - certainly have no advice except to say continue to stand up for yourself and your kids.
Update: Last Nights Meeting
by FadingELD 76 Replies latest jw experiences
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BabaYaga
FadingEld!!! You are an incredible man. What a wonderful human you are.
I really loved reading your update... and I really loved Bobbi's post on the first page, too... (that she was a woman just like your wife not so long ago.) I have news for you... miracles happen everyday... contrary to yet another thing we have been taught to believe.
Don't give up hope on your wife. Your family is lucky to have you. (And so is this discussion board!)
Strength to you,
Baba. -
Namaste
Wow FadingEld, you really have it coming at you from all sides...wife, best friends, parents, in-laws. I'm in awe of the stand you were able to take so quickly. Even with all that pressure I hope you continue with the JWD board and find strength from the many that have been in your shoes before. Every day I'm amazed at the stories I read on here and hope that one day some of my family and friends will find their way here.
Funny too, how you can read a post on a message board by a stranger and then find yourself thinking about them during the day. Something I did with you and as you can see, so many others also had you in their thoughts and prayers. We were pulling for you....hope you felt a little of that hope, courage, and resolve coming your way during these difficult times.
I choked up with tears reading about your sons coming to you with their "finally!" message. How wonderful that they were able to approach you with their feelings and could feel completely accepted. I hope you know that you just changed their whole world for the better. I know for myself, one of my biggest regrets in growing up was the relationship with my parents. Can any JW kid truly have an open and honest relationship with their parents? I couldn't for fear of my father's "headship" and definitely didn't want to put another burden on my overworked and tired mother, who needed that guilt trip.
I had to wait until I was over 30 to begin rebuilding my relationship with my parents outside of the JW influence....you just gave your kids a HUGE jump on me and I can only hope that you all benefit from the opportunity you've been given.
All the best to you!!
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Maddie
fadingELD You have my best wishes and I hope everything turns out well for you and your family.
Maddie
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Thegoodgirl
You did the right thing.
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LyinEyes
Fading........I was just like your wife when my elder hubby told me he was having doubts and showed me some things on the internet.
I freakin' flipped out!!! I accused him of bringing demons in our home, I threw things all over the place. I was a mess. I was so angry and sickened by what he said. I was an elder's daughter , raised JW, and would have rather poked my eyes out with hot pokers than to ever , ever imagine leaving my Jehovah.
After he told me , a few days later, I just realized I had to find out what hit him so hard.........what made him doubt, I looked more into it because I knew, he had always lead me in the right way. I knew he loved me and our family too much to just be going thru some minor doubts,(he always had a few) whatever he found out must be MAJOR.
I can't even remember all the things that I read ,, but he first showed me the WT own words, in print that shocked me. Then I read a little more and then some more. It still took me some time, and it took him some time before we decide to walk away. We disassociated ourselves and continued our journey of open minds.
It has not be easy,,,,,,,especially for me because I really delt with some factors that were intertwined with my elder father and my faith. I had so many dreams of losing my religion and it was a painful death. I still hurt over losing my religion. But, I can't go back even thou I miss some things about it, mainly the people and the blind faith of belieivng in the resurrection..I miss that belief most of all.
It also took my hubby and me a while to learn to deal with each other, to connect with each other without the "truth" in common. We did it thou and we made it throu some hard times doing so.
I hope you are gentle with your wife, she may in time listen to you and you can help save her too.
Best wishes to your family...............Dede
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tula
You have made the truth an absolute priority in your life. That, in itself, is the most worthwhile achievement. Congratulations.
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Lady Liberty
Dear Fading ELD,
WOW!!! (((HUGS)))!!! I am so glad your wife is at least willing to talk with you. Perhaps because you didn't drag out a long fade , maybe this will shock her enough to spark her curiosity to really listen to you. I pray she will see what you have found to be the truth about "the truth." Maybe in time she will. Hang in there, we are here for you!! Things will be ugly no doubt for a short while, and when the shock wears off, you can begin to live! I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel, and unlike everthing we were ever told, there is much happiness and relief outside of the Borg!!! We are so glad you found this site, as it will most likely prove to be a "lifeline" to you as it was and still is to so many of us. Just knowing were not crazy with our doubts, and others are having the same ones, and that they are finding the same answers and coming to the same conclusion...all really helps get you through it. Please keep us posted as to how things go with your wife and other family members.
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
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Sheri
FadingELD
My heart goes out to you. When I told my husband (not a JW but family that was) that I had doubts for several months and felt that this was not the True Religion, he was shocked and very surprised after 20+ years of me not pushing but letting him know he would benefit from this religion. Still he was dumbfounded that I really made this decision and really had not told anyone about what I had been going through. I can not tell you how much this has done to bring us together, we actually can talk and bounce questions on religion off of eachother. He said he knew it was pointless to discuss anything before because as a JW we are always right and everyone else is wrong.
I have also had several friends in the past few years with long history as JW's express their doubts and are most doing the fade, just as I have for reasons personal to each one. I have a dear friend that was actually my study conductor and brought me into the JW World. She has since gone to her sons and apologized for all that they put the kids through, out of 6 kids only one was left in the organization and he and his wife have faded as well. They all have shared with her now the personal hell they have endured being raised by an elder and pioneer and the effects it has had on them as young adults. I can truthfully say now they are coming together and sharing true love of fellowship and rebuilding their lives of a family that has unconditional love for eachother.
I encourage you to be true to yourself and help your sons realize they do have a choice to their own beliefs. I have shared much with my friend and she in turn has shared with her adult children, which in turns helps them deal with the ones saying they all have made a hugh mistake. Knowledge is the key to unlock the builtin guilt and doubt that over the years has been piled in our minds. I gave her a copy of CofC which has been passed on through the family.
You have made a wise decision and are now really able to search out what you really believe, I wish you well. I do hope that your wife will see you are still a person capable of being loved regardless of the JW organization. Assure her that you love her but that you need to be first honest with yourself and your personal relationship with God. As I told one person I am standing up for Jehovah and I will serve him with integrity and not through an organization that lies and manipulates people through the the WT and books. I have said I would return to the KH if I could find one WT that has not distorted truth in an article. I do read them online and when I do find one I usually can find a lie in an article or study. SAD but TRUE, a little research or check up on a reference will usually show the distorted slant to an article.
Sorry for the long post but keep true to yourself!!
Peace & Love,
Sheri
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TheListener
Welcome FadingELD.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sharing your story.
You have shown a lot of courage and strength.
Don't beat yourself up too much over past judicial committee meetings. You did what you felt was right at the time and were trying to help. Now you are doing the same thing but in a whole different direction.
Of course, me telling you that may not make your guilt disappear. I think all ex-elders suffer some sleepless nights thinking about those they "helped".
I wish you the best of luck. If you need any support please pm me.