So that's what the other shoe looks like. Update with my parents

by Paralipomenon 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  Scully

  Bobbi

  They have been taught that shunning is the way to "shock you to your senses" and make you come crawling back so you can have their affection again. It has been an effective strategy within the WTS for decades, so it's not likely to change any time soon. What we do have now, that we didn't have 15 or 20 years ago, was the ready access to a support network like JWD to help us through these difficult times and remind us that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and our families... and maybe just maybe provide a surrogate "family" when our own flesh and blood decides to show their loyalty to the WTS.

  Now that they have thrown down the gauntlet, though, it is extremely important that you stand your ground and let these JWs know that shunning you and Para - disrespecting you and Para - is not going to get them access to your children / their grandchildren. People who disrespect you and shun you should NEVER EVER get the opportunity to do so in the presence of your children. You need to protect your children from people who disrespect you and shun you, because the message your children will get is that it is OK to disrespect their parents, because Grandma and Grandpa get away with it.

  It's really hard sometimes not having extended family to interact with. I do miss my family, but my kids understand that the choice to shun was not mine. They understand that our family is loyal and respectful to one another, and we will look after each other, and we will not allow anyone to treat anyone in our family with that kind of disrespect. We are a package deal: shun me or shun Mr Scully, and you can forget about ever having contact with our children. They chose loyalty to a bunch of money grubbing old men in Brooklyn, and one day they will learn that their loyalty means NOTHING to the WTS - when they are old and decrepit and in need of placement in a nursing home or nursing care in their own home, or financial assistance because their Old Age Pension won't even cover their necessities of life, they can find out just how loyal the WTS will be to them.
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  bluesapphire

  (((Para & Bobbi)))

  No one can replace family but we're here for you.

  I wish my husband would draw the line for his mom who has been shunning off and on at her convenience for years now. Our son deserves better than an flaky, inconsistent grandma. It would be better for him if he thought she was dead and leave it at that!
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  johnny cip

  para; I feel for you , and I know you have to stand firm. to add to scully's post about holidays romans 14. colossians 2:16-19 IS very clear about not letting anyone judge you on religious holidays. in fact jw's hate col. 2 i have used this and romans 14 many times on jw's. I'm very forceful to ask the jw's when they discount these verses. if they REALLY FOLLOW THE WHOLE BIBLE or just the parts the wt instructs them to. I don't know how far your willing to go, but there is a lot of mileage in this one arguement. stand strong you will do fine. best wishes to your family and you. john
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  LeslieV

  I am so sorry your family is experiencing this. I have to say as far as your children are concerned, better to find out now then later. I think it is worse when grandparents are in their life, leave, come back, etc. Better that they leave, then that ping-pong behavior. That is utterly devestating to kids.

  My family also walked away from my three girls. At first I was crushed. But not I thank my lucky stars that they did not have the influence that I had growing up. All three daughters are in college, and now see the JW religion as a cult. Believe me it is not easy, but it does get better.

  Leslie
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  Gopher

  I am printing off documentation on every single one of the points that they refused to accept and putting it in a sealed envelope. After our "talk" I am leaving the envelope with them and tell them that their access to their grandchildren is in there. If they want to remain ignorant of their own beliefs, they can leave the envelope as closed as their minds.

  I love it. Great use of illustrations, Para !! If your parents' belief is so firm, and their truth so undeniable, there's nothing in an envelope that should be able to convince them otherwise. But FEAR will win, and LOVE will lose. That's the way it is with JW's.
• 

  eclipse

  ((((((Para & Bobbi))))))

  Here is hoping that she will decide to open the envelope. Good for you Para! wifflebat was hilarious!
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  carla

  As long as you are doing the boundries discussion anyway, will you allow them to preach to your kids if you are not around?
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  worldtraveller

  I presented Rev:22,18 and 19 to my JW "friend" and his response was-"who is to say which bible is more accurate?" My response was "I believe one that is 6000 years old as opposed to one that is 100 years old. Less chance of manipulation". He said nothing more about that issue.

  BUT! The Romans:14 1-13 is fuel for my fire. Who ever said taking a holiday to relax and thank God for a meal and fresh air was such demonic activity? There is no way anyone anywhere could tell me an all intelligent God would have an ounce of spite. PPL--don't believe all the hatred they present inbetween the "love".
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  Honesty

  Do what I did with my mom.

  I told her that shunning is a two way street and if she wanted to get on it she had better be ready to accept the consequences of her behavior.

  It's funny how they back down when they realise that they are the ones initiating the BS
• 

  Mum

  Bobbi and Para:

  This is indeed extremely sad. Ironically, the JW's are always lamenting the loss of "natural affection" among family members. What hypocrites!

  IMHO, I think your children should be able to see your parents, but with supervision only. Normally, of course, it is beneficial for children to have a relationship with their grandparents. However, as someone else pointed out and as ex-nj-jw could tell you, they'll try very hard to mess up your kids' minds.

  In any case, you two should set the parameters and be in control, not allowing anyone else to manipulate or set the rules.

  What Honesty said is also right on!

  Regards,

  SandraC