So that's what the other shoe looks like. Update with my parents

by Paralipomenon 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Happy Harvester

  That is precisely the attitude that I think messes kids up. Mom is so used to being in control of the situation, when shunning isn't convenient she flips, when she's feeling guilty, the shunning resumes.

  I've been through this a few different times with my family. It really hurts because they always find a way to blame you for it, rather than admitting to their own issues.

  Sorry you're going through this, especially during this time of the year. At least you will be able to enjoy the holidays with your immediate family as you all see fit, and that's what really matters most - living your own lives as best you can.
• 

  Sunspot

  Do what I did with my mom.

  I told her that shunning is a two way street and if she wanted to get on it she had better be ready to accept the consequences of her behavior.

  It's funny how they back down when they realise that they are the ones initiating the BS

  This is exactly what I did with my superfine-pioneer-now-married-to-an-elder daughter. She never even "bothered" to tell me or her nonJW Dad that she was getting married to Mr elder, we found out because one of our son's thought it was crummy of her to pretend we didn't exist so as not to stain her "spotless and perfect" JW wedding with our heathen presence. (I sent her a nice gift and an "appropriate WTS-approved card "anyway)

  This SAME daughter got the phone call the morning I had my stroke and was in the ICU.....and she never sent a card, called any of my other kids back, etc until three months later she calls and says she "wanted to stop by to see how I was doing". My husband told her she was not welcome here any more. If she thought her bahavior was the proper way to "honor her mother and father", then we wanted no part of her OR her religion.

  You have to wonder what makes them tick when they think they can trample all over other's feelings and expect OTHERS should wait with open arms when they "decide" to act human.
• 

  The-Borg

  Para, I admire you're clarity and determination. Please keep us up to date on how the meeting went.

  Regards

  The-Borg
• 

  ringo5

  First off, my sympathies for having parents with greater love for themselves than for their kids. I would make sure they understand that shunning you and your wife will not have the effect the WTS propogates. Rather, it will only serve to demonstrate to you more fully the extent a cult will go to to maintain it's control.

  But congrats on taking control of your life. I'm sure this will be another step for you in moving on with YOUR life and doing what you feel is best for your wife and kids. I envy you actually in that you are now making a clean break. I am starting to feel that making a clean break as opposed to a fade is a more honest way of living.