How do you react.....

restrangled

When you see someone needing help in a public place?

I usually avoid eye contact, but then feel guilty all day. For instance when you pull up to a light and people are standing there with a sign or actually walk up to your window...I won't ever roll down a window.

Today I pulled into the local grocery store parking lot, and there standing with a walker, was a middle aged Latino man with his lower legs in some sort of braces. As I pulled in he just smiled and looked away. For some reason I had to stop and ask if he was OK. Obviously he was alone and did not have a vehicle. He said, "I'm OK just in a lot of pain. I can't sleep at night and can't afford my pain medication." I gave him $2.00 and went into shop. As I loaded each item into the cart I kept thinking, how easy it was for me to throw in the items I needed, trying to get done as quickly as possible.

While standing in the checkout lane I thought better of it, and ran and got a small bottle of asprin and a bottle of water.

When I came out, he was still standing there alone in the parking lot. I loaded my car and brought him over the 2 items.

He softly said "thank you" and then grabbed my hand and kissed it.

I don't know what my point is, I guess I'm just sorting out feelings, and wondering what others do.

r

Burger Time

That was so sweet it makes me want to puke...I mean that in a good way though.

megsmomma

I usually try to "ignore" people like that too, especially since you see shows exposing con men that beg for $$ and are really living well. One time though, in Las Vegas, I saw a man with no legs sitting on a bridge/walkway from a casino to another. I stopped and talked with him then got him some water. I couldn't afford to do anything else...but, I really felt bad for him. I guess I feel like there are things in place out there for these people to utilize....and they are responsible for seeking them out.

I also hate having to go by the people outside the doors of Wal-mart...selling things for their cheerleading group, or other group. I really never have cash on me to give them anyways, but, I always feel guilty for avoiding them too.

Guest with Questions

Hi Restrangled: I think what you did came from the heart. We are all so busy with our lives that we miss so many opportunities to help others going through difficult times. Sometimes we have pain ourselves and either we sense a common bond or we become isolated and feel only our own pain. I realize we have to be very careful what our motivation is, but when we reach out to others to ease their burden, whatever our motivation, if it truly helps the other person it's a good thing.

Last Christmas I got a strong urge to pay for someones groceries at the check out but I chickened out, feeling that I would be centered out and maybe offending the person. I know there's better ways, helping out in soup kitchens, giving to community services etc. Sometimes even a smile or a compliment can go a long way, making the person feeling some worth. It could be the only affirmation they get.

restrangled

Megsmomma,

I don't like getting hit in front of store fronts either for this cause or that, or when kids bang at your door selling garbage out of a catalog for something at school. I usually don't have cash on hand either. I have no problem turning any sales pitch away from my front door.

Being raised a JW, I could always look away from those in obvious need without a care in the world with the solid belief, God will take care of it in the new order...

I guess my viewpoint has changed.

r.

nvrgnbk

I don't often reply to your threads, r.

Nothing personal, I just don't want to reveal what I'm making for dinner or my problems finding a decent haircut.

LOL!

Don't you dare take offense at that!

I think we need fluff and that you should keep posting such topics.

As for this topic, I think you raise some interesting questions.

You did something really kind for this gentleman, by the way.

I think at some point, we tend to shut down in response to these opportunities to show kindness.

There are many reasons for that.

We may feel overwhelmed by all the suffering we see.

We may feel that we're being duped.

What happened here this week is an example of that.

We may feel that we've already given enough, as if there is a limit to how much we are willing to offer to others in need.

The other day in traffic, some nicely-dressed African-American gentlemen were going from car-to-car, soliciting donations for a local church, one that is well-known, for a fund to help the homeless and disadvantaged.

I'm an atheist, but I thought it was a worthy cause.

Even as I handed the guy 20$, I was aware it could be total bullshit.

But what if it wasn't?

The old asshole hehind me, the kind of guy that has a permanent frown, angrily dismissed the volunteer. He probably lives his life thinking that everyone is out to get him.

I'd rather not live that way.

I've had my ups and downs, but things always seem to level out for me.

If I can help things level out for someone else, that makes me happy.

If it turns out that they abused my trust, that's on them.

Peace, r.

restrangled

Guest with Questions...

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you. If something stirs you to do something no matter what it is, we should listen to our innervoice. We may never know the difference we have made in someone's life.

r.

Hortensia

didn't Jesus say the poor would always be with us? However, I think, from personal experience, that it's better to donate to organizations that help the homeless than to give them money. I've given them food, water, blankets, that sort of thing, but not money. Hard to pass them by without donating something, but they aren't all what they seem.

flipper

Restrangled- After working all night in my janitorial business the other night, I sometimes stop at this great little breakfast spot on the way home . There was a bag lady, older, with a cart and her belongings. I said, " Hi ! How you doing ? " She said, " I'm just traveling through, real cold would like a cup of coffee . " I said, " Here's a couple of dollars. " She said, Thanks. Bless you. " And as I was leaving the restaurant, she must have been telling the truth, because there she was in the restaurant, waiting to get a table. So, we can't brush everybody with the same stroke. Sure there are con artists out there. But we have to be alert to notice the ones that are truly needy

restrangled

Never....

Now don't you take offense, but I might find what you're making for dinner or your hair cut offensive!!

Getting back on topic, I loved what you said:

I've had my ups and downs, but things always seem to level out for me.
If I can help things level out for someone else, that makes me happy.
If it turns out that they abused my trust, that's on them.

r.

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