by besty 54 Replies latest jw experiences
Excellent and well thought out letter. Oh, that we could all be so rational and reasonable when we end it. (I was 15, nuff said!)
That you were betrayed by people who should have loved and supported you no matter what(FAMILY) has got to be disappointing. OTOH, knowing is a gift, as they won't have the opp. to betray you again.
Congratulations on your family, your escape, and your future. Don't forget the sunglasses! It'll be bright!
Hi besty and family,
I read your letter with tears. I had a similar experience 10yrs ago. Alot of criticism no help - I wanted niether. I just faded though. I have given enough info for people who wanted to identify me to do so. I think you were very brave especially when under such obvious stress .
llbh
Great letter! I stated this point to my mother today and she agreed: the life of a Witness leaves little time for Christian works towards ones brothers and sisters. Maybe if I had been attending all the meetings, pioneering, commenting profusely and giving talks I would have qualified for more help! Or perhaps if Christian acts towards ones brothers were reportable on a time slip…but I digress.
Excellent letter. You sound like and outstanding couple. It's the outstanding ones that end up leaving.
Many people have posted similar letters here on JWD. Yours is by far the best I've seen. It was logically writen and to the point. You made your point without diluting it with too much information. It put the blame squarely on their shoulders. Anyone with half a brain and a little compassion would have to see your point.
Have a great life, that's the best revenge.
changeling
That was amazing.
I am so impressed at your excellent use of tone, clear thematic development, and humble manner.
Somebody should register the domain diassociation.org and put up a collection of letters like that with accompanying testimonial statements.
It would be powerful.
RD
Wow! Excellent letter. It's sickening what a witness will do and who they will turn against just to earn some
fantasy points with Jehovah! I'm sorry for your pain. But, it sounds like you have a wonderful little family of your
own, so get on with your life with them and be content in knowing "what goes 'round come 'round." They will get
theirs someday, imho.
(((((((Hugs to you))))))) dear besty. Beautiful letter.
Hortensia wrote:
rational letter - unfortunately it was given to irrational people
Well put. Couldn't have said it better.
besty, you wrote:
I felt I was nearing a nervous breakdown, but this was not followed up in any way that was tangible to me.
I know what you mean. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown in my previous life, because of having some unpleasant flashbacks. I was quoted a scripture about not looking behind the plough. Looking back (as in therapy) meant I was unsuited for the kingdom, according to some in the congregation. Some help that was. "Buck up!" is not supportive or loving. "Do more!" is not helpful advice. "Read your bible more" or "go in service more" does not help an ailing one. It felt more like I was being kicked when I was down.
The therapy was very useful in my exiting of the borg. It gave me support where the congregation was filled with people needing therapy, not offering it. The elders are not qualified therapists, no matter how many times they quote the scripture in Timothy about "All scripture is inspired blah blah..." Maybe the scripture are inspired, but the elders are not. A Judicial Committee, as far as I'm concerned, are a lynching tribunal.
My invitation to their JC meeting consisted of a phone call saying, "We are holding a meeting on such-and-such a day/time to conclude this matter." Sounded pretty much like they had made up their mind about me ahead of time.
I did a no-show. Seemed like the healthy thing to do.
Yup, they judged my faith as being defective --- and condemned me. As if three men I hardly knew could determine such a thing.
However, I thank them now, because I learned from it, stood up and dusted myself off and went on with my own life, using my free will. My new knowledge means I don't have to trust them as a religious organization. It was a wonderful eye opener for me. I had up till then thought the elders were the "voice of God." I could never be tempted to go back, having gained this knowledge.
What comforted me was knowing that "what goes around --- comes around." How they judge is how they themselves will be judged.
Thank you, elders, for opening my eyes to the truth about you.
Besty, thanks for sharing your letter and your pain. Know you are not alone here. Many on this forum understand what it is like for you right now. *hugs*
Love to all
ESTEE
Please forgive the change in subject:
- How's your wrist?
- How old is Archie now?
- ..and has your baby overcome those early medical problems?
My sister, a family doctor, told me you don't send a young mother home to rest. You admit her in to the hospital. How true!
Hi guys - thanks for all your kind, supportive and encouraging words - all confirmation we've done the right thing.
Just a little more info on our letter - we were basically informed that the elders were going to hold our JC whether we attended or not. I had broken down at the doctors and didn't feel mentally and emotionally up to going through the whole kangaroo court and so she wrote me a letter to the elders (all four of them) saying that I was not well enough to attend. One of elders phoned Paul and asked if I had Post Natal Depression, if so it wasn't a good enough excuse not to attend as "these things could go on for years" - so loving.
So, I didn't go and sent the other letter in my place. Paul went as he said he wanted to find out who our accusers were. Interestingly, when we asked the elders if there were going to be any witnesses at the JC (the first one, on the Friday night that neither of us attended), they categorically said "No". This was the one where my BIL flew 900 miles round trip to give his evidence at - so the elders lied - nice.
In hindsight, I probably wouldn't have given them the satisfaction of a letter and Paul would not have attended but what's done is done and we can move on and enjoy a happy life with our family without looking over our shoulders and hopefully some of our loved ones and even those elders will come to their senses and we'll get them back in our lives.
Jgnat - thanks for asking how we are now. My wrist still gives me a lot of grief but that's life. It serves as a reminder how well the rest of me still works! :-) Archie is 2 and half now and getting more adorable by the day (such a shame that his aunty/uncle and grandmother don't want to know him anymore). Bertie is over his op and an extremely happy thriving little baby boy. After 9 months he is finally sleeping through the night so things are getting easier.
Purza - well done on your successful fade, sorry to hear you've had a similar experience on the brother front. Unfortunately it's the cult member inside him that proved disloyal - one day you may get your real brother back.
libh - sorry for what you've been through, hope to meet you in London.
Rollerdave - love your idea of the website with everyone's letters - there are quite a few on www.jwfacts.com if anyone needs some inspiration.
Journey on - love your concept of fantasy points with Jehovah!
Estee - hugs for what you've been through. It makes us stronger and more compassionate people.
Thanks again everyone - you really rock!
