by flipper 39 Replies latest jw friends
My husband was at a quick build and needed a shower and place to rest so a local brother invited him to his place . When he got to the bathroom he noticed the door didn't lock so he just placed his suitcase against the door and got into the shower.
Half way through he heard the door open and someone come in ,he called out to no avail......the homeowners elderly ,hard of hearing mother came in to use the toilet !
He just had to stay in the shower until she was done doing business . heheheh
There's a saying in my family... "You can't make this shit up."
Thanks, Flipper
BFD
In 1998 I talked my wife, who I was dating at the time, into climbing Mt Washington in N.H... Tuckermans ravine trail. We were five hours into the hike when she dropped and started crying, "I cant go any furthur, you have to carry me."
Here's a woman, eight years younger than me, runs six miles every weekend while I watch tv, that can't hike three and a half miles up a hill. I'm nearly in a panic thinking about getting a helicopter to rescue her. I looked over her head and I had to hold in my laughter. The parking lot at the top was only twenty feet away.
I thought of boosting a hero image of myself by picking her up and actually carrying her a few feet, with the boulders in the area we both could have been hurt. Instead I said, "Stand,,, and look ahead."
True and I hope you find it amusing.
Thinking about now, I see a moral to this story. When people are feeling down and going thru difficult times, we do our best to comfort them. In a round about way we are saying, "Stand,, and look ahead."
DJK
Gee, Ninja...............I had to clean my screen off......lmao....
I had new neighbours move in next door, a few winters back. After a few weeks, I decided to go over and introduce myself, especially since he was talking to my son on the sidewalk.
I walk down my driveway, around my car, slip on the ice, fall down on my a$$, start laughing hysterically....he comes running over, "Are you ok?"...I pick myself up, dust myself off, and put out my gloved hand, "Hi", I say, "I'm Delilah".....and roared my head off all the way back to my door. What an idiot....
One time, while in the ministry, this sister and I went to a door. It had a woodpecker as a doorknocker. So, she pulled it. A few minutes later, this naked guy in a towel, comes to the door. This sister looks at me, looks at him, then says" Nice pecker you got there."
I busted out laughing, and we ran like bullets. It still makes me lmao to this day.
TROUBLED MIND- Would we be remiss to say your husband had a most odiferous shower? LOL! I hope the older lady was taking a pee and not a dump ! Good lord, Moses almighty !
BFD- Glad I could entertain you tonight ! Just wait, keep reading, I've saved some of my best as this thread gets longer !
DJK- That was funny ! So your lady wussed out on ya, huh? So did she view you as superman reincarnated when you carried her up the hill ?
O.K. As promised I have some other weird crazy experiences to share ! In the mid 1980's my ex -wife and I were at a couple's house who had a 3 to 4 year old son. They would often let him mill about naked , and the mother would have to corral him up and put some clothes on him. Well, this particular night, junior had been snooping in his mom's stuff ! He comes out of his parents room shrieking and screaming ! " What's wrong ? " the mother yelled ! The boy had inadvertently attached a sticky maxi-pad of his mom's on his little penis , and was screaming because it was stuck on ,wouldn't come off ! He was running around with this thing stuck to his part , like glue ! Finally the mom caught the little rascal and tried to de-traumatize him. I've often wondered over the years how that boy turned out ! Poor kid ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Well last month my company announced that all of our jobs were being outsourced to India. We have until the begining of December.
That week I went out with my family for chinese food. I unwrapped my fortune cookies and it read "you will be changing carreer paths soon"
Aint that the truth
DELILAH- How could you tell if he had a nice pecker if he had a towel wrapped around him? Oh. that's right you meant the woodpecker !
LOOSIE- It sounds like you did have a fotune told there or a premonition anyway ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
I WAS IN SERVICE WITH A ANOTHER KID, WE WERE 10, AND WE GAVE OUR PRESENTATION AND THE OLD LADY LISTENED AND SAID ILL BE RIGHT BACK, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU, SHE CAME BACK AND HAD HER HAND BEHIND HER BACK, AND SHE OPENED THE SCREEN DOOR, AND LEANED OUT AND STARTED SLAPPING US ON THE HEAD WITH AN OLD HOUSESHOE, WE RAN OFF AND , HIS MOM WAS IN THE CAR AND SAW IT, AND YELLED YOU CRAZY BITCH, ILL KILL YOU, AND TRIED TO GET OUT BUT OTHERS IN THE CAR HELD HER, AND WE ALL LEFT THE HOOD.
BIG D
DELILAH- How could you tell if he had a nice pecker if he had a towel wrapped around him? Oh. that's right you meant the woodpecker !
He was REALLY hot....so we imagined he was erm....he had....aw, nevermind...it was an embarrassing, but hilarious moment....
Another funny thing that happened to me is I worked in a factory years ago at Frito Lay and we used a itchy caustic chemical to clean all the fryers and conveyer belts that the Frito corn chips came down on. We wore full body suits with goggles for protection and shot this chemical, which looked like shaving cream out of a big fireman's type hose. Well, apparently I did not wash off good enough and when going to the restroom I got the itchy chemical on my private parts and itched like crazy ! Had to squat in the sink to rinse this stuff off ! Fortunately it all came off and Mr. Flipper was able to flip once again ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
