"happiness is the best revenge"
This post is for no one in particular and for anyone who might find it helpful.
I have heard ex jws say something similar, but it goes something like this: "Living a good life, after you have left the org., speaks volumes to those still inside the org. ." I like this concept better.
I have been on this earth for decades now....next birthday will mark half a century for me. I have learned something very important and it is this: Happiness is not a state we can depend on in life to be constant and never ending. Happiness comes in doses. Some doses are big and last longer and some are smaller, like some happy moments in an otherwise bad day. I guess I'd encourage people to shoot for planning their lives in such a way as to enjoy more contentment. Then of course, encourage all the happiness in your life that you can. At times though, happiness is just not going to be possible or even under your control.
Let me tell you, over the past year, there have been days and weeks and even months at a time where life was so painful and yes, unhappy, that I wondered how I would live through it. There were many awful things happening that were beyond my control. I don't think there are very many people who can go through the kinds of losses my family and I have and still smile and be happy through the whole ordeal.
But................and this is important...........I am not destitute, or homeless or living in the streets, starving, friendless or penniless, like I'm sure many current JW's, especially my siblings, were just sure I would be after leaving the org. As a matter of fact, I am much more healthy and I do suffer far fewer depressive episodes now that I am out from under WTBTS's heavy, burdensome yoke.
I have friends. I have a much healthier form of worship or spirituality and lifestyle. I let the love in me dicatate my moral code, rather than fear or the dogma of some denomination or faith. I can be ME. I love being able to be me.
I think sometimes the bitterness with which jw family members and former friends shun us reflects their level of envy over our freedom to live our lives without the control of the governing body.
Friends to laugh with, to cry with, they can really enhance the contentment and happy times in our lives. And it's important to be a friend to yourself.
Live a good life and it will speak volumes to those you left behind in the org. When I say live a good life, I mean staying on the right side of the law, not engaging in destructive behaviors and habits and trying to take care of you and those you love in the best way you can. Count your blessings and enjoy your freedom in a responsible, way. Laugh when you can, cry when you need to and above all, find out who you are and be true to yourself.
