Here's a hint (page 3)

FlyingHighNow

And here is a third post in a row. I am feeling much better now than I was during the summer. For those of you who have kept up with my woes, I want to say things are better.

I have moved to a new region and town. I have a new job. I certified as an agent today and graduated from training with the Chrysler Campaign. I have a new place to live that is comfortable and cozy for Julian and me. I have reunited with my brother and am getting to enjoy our adult relationship for the first time since we were teenagers. This is a beautiful area and people are very friendly. I love the Appalachian culture. I am glad to back in touch with my southern roots. I am proud of them. Believe me, we do not live up to the stereo types....almost all of us anyway.

I am making new friends and this is wonderful. Julian loves his school and the attention he receives from my brother. They camped out, built a fire pit and lean-to and went on midnight hike and played "army" together. How cool is that? Andy is slowly recovering back in Michigan. He is gradually doing better. I wouldn't say I'm ecstatic, or bursting with happiness, but I am much more content and feel more secure these days. I have placed Mickey and Andy in God's hands. My therapist taught me that they are on their own journeys. Some of the best advice I have ever received.

In a round about, wordy way, I am agreeing with you, JG. It's just pat advice and it's simplistic to tell someone that happiness is all in their power to provide. It's just not this simple. Oh that it was. And you're one of the nicest Republican Conservatives I have come across.

Fleur

Some of us still have to protect our real identities, fiercely, to protect not only ourselves but our children from threats from the past that would become once again all too present if our real names/faces/identities got out. Physical threats.

People may wonder about me, if I'm for real- why I've been around the same community of exjw's pretty much for almost 8 years now but I've never met any of them in person. Never been to an Apostafest, though you have no idea how close I've come a couple times to just showing up at them.

I can count on one hand those here who know my real first name. Fewer know where I am geographically. There is a definite reason for this, and it's not unfriendliness. Those who know it have kept it safe for me- if they ever did not, I would have to disappear from the forums, permanently.

Two words; safety first. It's not that I don't want to reach out to others, it's just in the case of some of us, the message boards are the best we can do- and we, or I, at least, hope that's better than nothing.

Sounds to me like you're hoping other people will fill a need that only you can fill for yourself. But you know, I'm not an extrovert, and I have a hard time understanding them so probably it's just me. I don't get people who need to have a lot of friends to feel fulfilled, I never have. I'm content in my own company most of the time, I like solitude.

Also, you have to remember, this is the internet, and in general on the internet even with other message boards, there are crazy people out there. I've been stalked by people I've met online other places- female 'friends' and it's happened more than once. So I just have a policy now. Online friends are online- and that's it. Unless I've known someone a very long time- real life interaction isn't going to happen. For some people, that's enough, for others it's not. I leave it up to them if they're willing to take the friendship I feel I can safely offer.

(((((JG))))) I hope you find what you're looking for.

essie

Sawyer

"When I lived in Kentucky"

JG - do you realize how often you say that phrase? I think you might be one of those people who likes to dwell on the past and not one of those people who likes to build for the future.

I realize you had a group of JW friends that were ready-made simply by going to the kingdom hall. Most of us had friends that were ready-made in high school (those of us who were never JW). But, life changes and we grow, we pursue careers, we marry, we move (like you), and life advances. We see our high school friends at reunions, we think of the good times, then we get up the next morning and life goes back to the way it is NOW.

As you move into different phases of your life, whatever the reason, it is up to YOU to create your new reality.

Also, on this thread are two different types of happiness that are being discussed, and they aren't mutually exclusive. ButtLight's example is explaining what I consider to be external happiness - that we get from being with friends, laughter, and having fun. The other kind of happiness that others are explaining to you is internal happiness - if you aren't happy with yourself, you will not find happiness with others. Guess which is harder to achieve?

Now, that doesn't mean that we are happy, gleeful, jumping from the rafters with joy every minute of every day - but at the end of the day, we are happy with ourselves INTERNALLY. We are happy with the person that we are today (no matter the hell we may have gone through to get there) and the values that we hold. When life is difficult, or even downright dreadful, the internally happy person still hits the pillow at night secure in who they are, and 'happy' with that person, despite the circumstances they might find themselves dealing with. Now, this doesn't mean that we are 'happy' with every single aspect of ourselves (maybe need to lose a few pounds, get rid of a few wrinkles) but we are content and hopefully proud of our Internal self.

If JG wants to be happy, he has to start with his internal self first and quit living in the past. Of course, some people are happy simply by throwing themselves a big old pity party everyday.

So, that's my analysis on happiness. In my humble opinion.

Junction-Guy

Sawyer, you have missed something crucial about my post and my history. When I lived in Kentucky, I had many friends, and they werent JW friends, so you can't say that for me. You implied that my friends were ready made JW friends and that is as far from the truth as it gets. My frends were "worldly", and when I recently went back home for the Apple festival I ran into many of them and there were lots of hugs and handshakes, it really isnt me, but perhaps the company Im keeping, including many on this baord.

My 3 years in Kentucky, and especially the last year proves that there can be happiness outside of the JW's, and NO they werent JW friends I had in Kentucky.

Happy Harvester

JG - I have some extremely unhappy things to cope with in my life right now. How effectively I cope will affect my happiness.

Right now, I need help coping effectively, and that's okay. Thereapy helps. Medication helps. Friends help. People at discussion boards like this can help, too, but if you find they don't, then maybe there are other helpers for you out there.

I'm not saying leave the board, but maybe a break from it would help?

I'm going back to bed. again. and then to work.

Sawyer

My 3 years in Kentucky, and especially the last year proves that there can be happiness outside of the JW's, and NO they werent JW friends I had in Kentucky.

------------------------------

You're right. I did miss something in your story. Oops! Sorry about that.

Since you had friends in Kentucky, why not go cultivate some where you live now? I can attest that southerners like to fish and hang out and have fun. You can have friends that have nothing to do with your activism and friends that do help your activism. Two sets of friends..sounds nice to me.

Junction-Guy

Sawyer, that is mostly my fault. Due to the issues of my childhood and the sexual confusion, I chose to remain sort of aloof, in order to keep people from finding out my history and my secrets.

See, Im not above admitting fault when I truly choose to do something of my own free will

There are some other things that are out of my control such as new friends moving out of state, moving out of town, etc etc etc.

Sawyer

If it's your choice, right now, to not make friends and remain aloof then that's fine. That's your choice.

If you can't look externally for those sources of happiness, then this would be a great time to work on your internal choice of happiness. Use this time productively and figure out what makes you tick. Then, be happy that you are making progress whether in small steps or large ones.

Junction-Guy

Thank you Sawyer, that was some good advice.

Here's a hint

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