I Leave with Contradictory Emotions

by journey-on 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    In the past, some of you have said that you don't believe in topics addressing one's good-bye from the forum. If you are one of those individuals, then you can stop reading now.

    I’m leaving the board for a while. I arrived in February to vent about my sister. I was dealing with a moment of frustration and anger over what I perceived as her hypocritical attitude. After years and years of it, for some reason I snapped and decided I needed someone to talk to that night that would understand the dynamics of this tirade.

    I stayed on here mesmerized by the gamut of emotional and spiritual experiences of each and every poster that had a story to tell. The wide range of topics from heartbreaking personal tragedy to hilarious fluff has kept me spellbound. The intelligence of the forum’s "scholars" educated me. The philosophical and political debates energized me. The outpouring of love, warmth, and caring encouraged me.

    I leave with contradictory emotions. On the one hand, I feel hopeful that through a diligent effort at educating people, more and more will see Jehovah’s Witnesses as a cult to be avoided like the plague…an organization that can suck you in with promises of a beautiful paradise where life will be rosy and death will be no more.

    On the other hand, I see an organization who is very savvy and fore-thinking…one who has planned a strategy through a maze of double-sided doctrines that will keep their rank and file members life-long prisoners, always hoping for the freedom from worldly travails at the expense of living a free and happy life now.

    I spend too much time thinking about JW and JWD related subjects now and I want to return to a more balanced mental place. I have lots of projects that I’ve neglected and have been unable to focus on, so I’m off the board for now.

    I've noticed lots of newcomers to the forum and that's a good thing. It means that, for some at least, the Watch Tower Society is losing its grip. My hope is that these new ones continue on a productive and healthy path to recovery and not sink into despair and hopelessness when dealing with the after effects. JWD is a great place to come to seek assistance toward that end.

    I hope anything I posted during these months did not offend or hurt anyone. I’ve grown to love you all and even though I didn’t have a chance to attend an apostafest to meet some of you personally, there are a few that I feel a strong connection to. I wish you all the best.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    purps

  • changeling
    changeling

    Whle it makes me sad to see you leave, I really do understand where you're coming from. I too spend too much time and mental energy on this board, and I'm sure i'll break away in a similar fashion. I wish you all the best in your life. You trully are a kind and wise person. It has been a priviledge posting side my side with you.

    changeling

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    I agree with most everything you've said. I have myself left the db environment for protracted periods, and will yet again.

    imho, if one has absorbed the intent and content of the posts-from-the-heart that so many have made here, it becomes almost an inevitability that standing back and reevaluating oneself is a necessary part of the healing, and understanding, process.

    However, I would suggest that you not permanently "divorce" (shall I dare say: self-disfellowship?) yourself from this venue for self-discovery and exploration of the human psyche.

    With all due respect...after all, the choice is yours.

  • Shawn10538
    Shawn10538

    Journey on Journey On!
    I'll miss your posts. We haven't always agreed on things but I've always respected your views as being well thought-out and sensible. Come and visit every now and then.
    Shawn

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Breaks from the board do a lot of good for you. You'll be back, could be months or years, but you'll see things differently than you do now. These posts are good even if it just reminds people that it's normal to leave and a very necessary part of the recovery cycle.

    WLG

  • Angry_Kangaroo
    Angry_Kangaroo

    It is good to take a break from the computer, esp. if you find yourself stressing over it. Real life is so much better. I have enjoyed your posts, you seem like a very intelligent person.

    Take care,

    Amber

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Best wishes as you... journey .. onward ---->

  • BFD
    BFD

    Journey on, journey-on.

    We joined this forum right around the same time and you did not post very often until the last couple of weeks. I apprecieate your contributions here that have helped me in my healing process and when I'm ready I will move along, too.

    Good luck in all you do.

    Thanks,

    BFD

  • horrible life
    horrible life

    Please at least pop in, every now and then. I have grown very fond of you.

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