Why do we have to talk about what happened to us? (page 3)

wanderlustguy

I would like to hear more about this sometime. I married into a JW dynasty. I have similar issues with my Father-in-law and my husband. My step kids took the worst of it. The oldest is 34 now.

working on it right now.

Mincan

Why do we have to talk about what happened to us?

Because our lives are simply the sum total of our choices and experiences.

stillajwexelder

Why do we have to talk about what happened to us? - part of the healing process

onacruse

Yes, we talk about "things" until we no longer feel a need to talk about those "things."

The clue is when we sense, at some point, that talking about those "things" is nothing more than digging up old bones, or wasting bandwidth and oxygen from which others can derive benefit.

In that case, we must be honest within ourselves and stop talking about those "things," and move on to other "things."

After all, our mouths and fingers will continue moving until the day we die. Such is life.

JWD is like a two edged sword at times.... when I read about other peoples lives like "Mouthy" and Crumpet and Mr. Flipper and many others, it makes me mad that they had to suffer a similar fate that i have. But I also don't feel quite so alone

And, you that have said you can't tell an non exJW about are absolutly right, they just don't understand. Probably the same as I have a hard time understanding frinds who been hurt in different ways.

dogisgod

It is a fact that the"first person's story" is premier for the teller and can be moving to the lister. Having said that, I don't know who would be the person to talk to. "Worldly people" really cant get it. I don't think anyone can "get it" unless they've been there. (As an interesting aside, Having been raised in "the Truth" I don't have a really good concept of time because I don't have event markers (like holidays). I have to ask my "worldly friends' "okay now what is it that you earthly people do and when?" I feel like an alien. ) I am living in a "witness protection program". I now live where I don't have a history or connection but trying to live as if I do. (Right in the midst of the JWs I grew up with and see around town quite often. I do love them as if they were my family...but the feeling is not mutual). I've been to a lot of counseling but the counselor never caught the importance of this. So now, at 55, I'm sick of therapy, self help books, and whining. Now I feel that just so what...just live. I am very lucky to have a pretty good long term job where I don't work with the same people every day. I love my animals. I do take anti-depressants and some days are better than others. I didn't have kids because of the truth (or my own choice while there) so it might be tough when I'm in the State Home. What can you do? Really nothing. Just try to be happy daily. I just feel like I am damaged goods and that's just the way it is. So get on with it as best you can.

Hortensia

dogisgod - your post is so poignant. I think maybe a lot of us feel isolated because the outsiders we know just have no idea of what it was like to grow up JW or to become a JW and live under that mind control. I didn't have children because I knew I was a fucked up person and didn't want to pass on the damage. We can be in the same state home together, eh?