11. Bad lighting in the boardroom of the GB, lend to bad predictions, bright halogens have since been installed
Top Ten Lame Excuses Why The Watchtower Society Predictions Never Came True
by Homerovah the Almighty 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
Homerovah the Almighty
12. God took time out to start Armageddon on an other planet, a potential under achiever
-
cultswatter
UH ....because they are not who they say they are?
-
Satanus
It cuz you dam pubs expect it, and when you expect it, god can't do it. It can only come when you have stopoed expecting it.
S -
IsaacJS2
Did someone mention a top ten list????? Sweet. I hope some of these don't suck.
Top Ten Lame Excuses Why The Watchtower Society Predictions Never Came True
1. Jehovah was too busy thumb wrestling with Zeus to notice the date had passed. (Curse you Zeus!!!) Now we're all screwed.
2. We're already in the new system. But Satan built this race of machines that would lock all of our minds in a computer simulation called "The Matrix" to fool us. Jesus doesn't really know computers, but they've got an angel with a "Computers for Dummies" book workin' on it, so any day now...
3. Our magical fax machine to heaven is broken, so we had to make something up at the last minute. Our bad. Say, do you have any fairy toner we could borrow??? We need it really bad. (Keebler Elves too busy to lone them any of theirs)
4. Predictions? We never made any predictions. Oh, and day is now night and night is now day. As you were.
5. We were high.
6. Maybe they meant 1914 in heaven!?
7. Funny story. See, when Jesus makes predictions ... well ... he talks with sort of a lisp. Ya know?
8. Fine. Make up your own d*mn religion then!!
9. We were testing your intelligence. I mean, your resolve to serve Jehovah. Hey! Don't moon me over there! ...
10. Okay, hang on a sec. ::shake shake shake:: The black cube thingy says "Answer unclear, try again later."
-
wanderlustguy
Because we were serving for a date.
-
WTWizard
Someone misunderstood what a generation meant. Twice. Then, they are still waiting for Jesus to show up, so they just alter the dates and claim he was invisible.
Maybe they actually have come true after all. We are in that "new" order. It's just that it's all invisible.
-
lawrence
The witch of Endor was too busy with Richie Blackmoor.
-
brinjen
Obves stole our calculator.
-
jacethespace
I know why it hasnt ended yet ! God was going to use saddam hussein to kickstart armaggdon but satan decided to send george bush to wipe him out.So good ol jehoovah has had to start from scratch.
Or he was going to use osama bin hardon to bring about armaggedon but he,s gone into hiding because his to much of a yellow belly chicken to come out and play.