I find it a little funny that before I left the JWs mentally, I was really homophobic. Like being in the same room as a gay person made me REALLY nervous, and I'd regularly engage in anti-gay conversations in the car group (note: JWs say "faggot" A LOT) and elsewhere. As soon as I realized it was all bunk, my attitude changed like I flipped a switch. Now I feel just as nervous during the homophobic conversation among witnesses, and I get mortified when they use words like "queer" and "fag." I wonder if that means my homophobia was tied to my cognitive dissonance and I never felt that way to begin with. Who knows. At any rate, I am now happy to be bigotry-free.
homosexuals and JWs
by solidergirl 67 Replies latest jw friends
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avishai
What's a gay thread without show tunes...
Showtune even a straight guy can dig....(JK, I'm straight, but do theater, soooo. there's lotsa show tunes I dig, even from "gay" show's (i.e, Hedwig.)
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littlerockguy
Like being in the same room as a gay person made me REALLY nervous, and I'd regularly engage in anti-gay conversations in the car group (note: JWs say "faggot" A LOT) and elsewhere.
now try to imagine being a witness with gay feelings and being in the same car group and only associating with people like that. JWs do not differentiate between a sexually active homosexual or a celebate homosexual - they judge both equally and despise them even though they will not come out and say it. Why else could spending the night with one under the same roof be grounds for disfellowshipping according to the Flock book?
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Open mind
LRG said:
"Why else could spending the night with one under the same roof be grounds for disfellowshipping according to the Flock book?"
I agree. That is totally "flocked up".
Open Mind -
dawg
Hey little rock guy, that's what its all about.... trying to feel superior, but none of us are... we're just who we are, stiraight, gay.. who gives a shit... why don;t we realize that people are differnet? And why don't we just simply let that pass?
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White Dove
What I've learned in college is that we are all born no gender but 2 different sexes (biological). We are then socialized by matching a gender (which is a social construct and not even bilogical) to the sex we are born with. It's when we mature sexually that we really learn what gender we are supposed to be. It's unique to the individual and it does not always match up with the "right" sex. When we grow up, some of us realize that we are one or the other gender or both genders. The sex we are born with doesn't have much to do with it as much as socialization does, then maturing sexually brings out the realization of which gender we really are. Sounds like sexual maturity brings out the real gender. Hmmm...makes sense. Could be that there is a socialized gender and a biological gender that shows up in puberty. Still thinking. I like that one best.
So many of us go through life saying that because I have a vagina I have to be feminine, but I don't feel like it. Or because I have a penis I have to be masculine, but I don't feel like it. If I'm a female and attracted to boys, I can't be attracted to girls, too. I just can't. What would my parents and grandparents, one of whom is an elder, say? No, it must not be true because they would not like it.
We were taught that pink and blue rule from birth. "That's not lady like!" "You're a boy. Be tough!" We are all taught that. Interesting how puberty brings out our real genders, even if we have to lie to ourselves and others about it out of fear. I'm bi. I've known since I was 13, but didn't realize it then. I felt so guilty. I have never actually done a bi act. It's all in how I feel. I know what people are going through with this. It can be stressful. I tried to squash the feelings like a good little dub should, and felt guilty when I couldn't get rid of the feelings. Denying who and what you are is a sin, and I don't even believe in sin!
Chenoa
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hambeak
Here is my 2 cents:
As a former JW elder and a practicing Gay fellow in a relationship of over 20 years I can categorically tell you it is not a choice but a way of life that you are born with.
I do not believe in public dispays of nasty behavior that is for the bedroom.
Society in general is abusive to gay folks and most of us are in the closet except for our close friends.
If all gay folks came out married and so called bi or straight it would scare the hell out of most folks.
Ham
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White Dove
You're right. It sure doesn't feel like a choice. I chose to live most of my life heterosexually while squashing down bi feelings. It's like I'm wired to be bi. I was certainly never ever taught to be bi. My body just seemed to think and feel what came naturally, not taught. I was raised a JW. So much for nurture v. nature. I really am just admitting what gender I really am. I have never changed it deep down. I was only acting for most of my life based on what I was taught. Now I can be me, all of me.
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wozadummy
Hambeak -" I can categorically tell you it is not a choice but a way of life that you are born with."
I'm curious as to how this statement is true in your case when you made the choice to be an elder and know you were therefore holding back what you call "a way of life" ,so you therefore made a choice to abandon the way of life you chose and was apparently successful at being a straight witness?
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BFD
wazudummy/stilladummy I can't tell the difference.
BFD