Having been born into the religion I guess I didn't get alot of choice. Going to meetings, service just came naturally. Like brushing your teeth, taking a shower..Just habits formed. No real deep convition or belief. But I can't understand how family members who I consider intelligent can still believe...
Why was I so blind?
by James Free 31 Replies latest jw friends
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DublDipd
The question that needs to asked with some of us here is....Why were our PARENTS so blind? I cannot speak for everybody here but as for me, being raised in the troof, lately I wonder...how could you do that to your kids? Having my own son now, I could never put him through what I was made to endure growing up.
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Lumptard
Maybe I'm a little too cynical, but I don't beleive that anyone is ever deceived into beleiving what the JW's dish out. People (myself included) tend to beleive whatever they want to and whatever they can justify for themselves. Just because you used to beleive something that turned out to be false does not mean that you were deceived. You were just given false information and didn't bother to check it out 'till now (or whenever you discovered that it was false). The rhetoric hasn't changed...your viewpoint has. It is pretty obvious that JWs aren't what they claim to be and anyone who doesn't see that obviously doesn't want to see it for one reason or other. People should take responsibility for the decisions that they make as well as the reasons that they make those decisions instead of whining about it.
There is only one set of facts...If you don't go looking for the facts, then it is your own fault if you end up beleiving something that is false
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PoppyR
I hear you! I alternate between thinking how could I have been such an idiot, to how come my family cant see what I do!
But I forgive myself, I was raised a JW, never allowed to associate with people who thought differently, and it's serious mind control. I know people who have been 'out' for years and still believe it's the truth, so what we should be congratulating ourselves on is that we are strong enough mentally to have seen it!
Just be grateful for finding out when you did, and the rest of your life, and lay ins on a Sunday morning!
Poppy
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golf2
V. Williams said, "...it's all part of the journey". Don't let it get the best of you. Extract the positive things out of your experience.
In professional sports, if you want to be a loser, keep dwelling on the negatives.
Golf -
jaguarbass
Now that I can see right through the crap that is the JW religion, I sometimes ask myself - how come you blindly believed all that rubbish for 30 years??!! I am so annoyed with myself for that - I have a degree, yet I was totally duped for such a large part of my life. And now that I can see how so full of holes it all is, I kick myself for not seeing it before. Anyone else feel like that?
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jaguarbass
If you have a degree, I dont see how you feel you were totally duped. Unless you got the degree after you left the Tower.
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Maddie
Why do people leave cults?
Burnout
Some cults work their members so hard that they burn out, sometimes to the point of having nervous breakdowns. When this happens they are no longer any use to the cult, and are simply abandoned.
No money left
Some cults take in new members primarily for the money they can give. When a member has no money left he/she is no further use to the cult and is kicked out.
Disgruntlement
Members sometimes just get fed up with the way things are run, how they are treated, or the "truth" presented by the cult fails to satisfy them any more.
Realisation of truth
Sometimes all it takes it one Bible verse for a cult member to realise he/she has been lied to for years. (This particular effect is due to control of information within the cult and a discouragement of reading the Bible freely.) This does not happen very often, and it often takes years to persuade some members to leave a cult.
Back to top.
Why don't people leave cults?
All the mind control techniques help to keep people in cults, sometimes being used together to form even stronger controls over members. Here's how.
Deception
Cults teach their members that the real world is different to how it actually is, making it appear a place that members would not want to be part of.
Also, the cult member might not realise anything is wrong.
Exclusivism
Cults teach their members that only the cult offers salvation or the truth. Leaving the cult is the same as leaving God, and no relationship with God will ever be possible if they leave.
Fear, Guilt, Intimidation
The leadership knows all the wrongdoing of the members and the threat of having it all revealed - basically emotional blackmail - is used to scare the member into staying.
Information control
If a cult dictates what its members are allowed to read, and what they can listen to on radio and watch on TV, members will not know what the outside world is like. That can make it a very scary prospect stepping out from the cult. The cult may also present its members with a false view of the outside world, perhaps one in which everyone is so sinful that leaving members wouldn't last a week before being killed or worse.
Alternatively, the cult member might be completely unaware that there is anything wrong with what they are taught or that life within the cult is unusual - it might be all they've ever known.
Love bombing
After a honeymoon period where a new member (suddenly) has all the love they can cope with, love is turned on and off to control. Members have their needs for love and acceptance met only when they are complying with the cult's requirements. This is a strong disincentive to do anything wrong, such as think about leaving.
Relationship control and shunning
Cults try to control all the personal relationships of their members. Eventually (normally over a period of a few years) the member will not have any close friends outside of the cult. Often their entire family will also be in the cult. It takes a huge amount of courage to leave friends and family behind, since members who leave are shunned by the cult. Shunning is when present members are forbidden to talk to or associate with former members, even if they are their own family. Over the years a person spends within a cult, their business might become completely dependent on other cult members, possibly because the cult leadership has told them they are not allowed to have other customers. If they were to leave, both they and their business would be shunned - no more customers.
Reporting structure and thought stopping
If members know that they will be punished for saying or doing anything against the cult (especially if they think the punishment is somehow justified - for example if guilt is also used) they will be more and more reluctant to say or do anything that could possibly appear disloyal. They will eventually block out any anti-cult thoughts as they have them. This is known as "thought-stopping." (It's quite bizarre watching this happen, and very sad, too.)
Time control
Some cults deliberately keep their members so busy that they don't have time to consider their involvement. The members are too busy (and possibly too tired) to figure out that the cult is bad. Some extreme cults also control food, which also prevents the member from thinking clearly.
The fact is that the WT is a cult and that is why people stay in it for a long time or even all their lives. Don't beat yourself up as their mind control techniques are highly sophisticated. At least we,re not in it now.
Maddie
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llbh
Hi Freyd i felt an idiot 4 staying but hey that was then now is today. i enjoy now.
Regards llbh
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llbh
Welcome Dubdipod
llbh